


Heartbreaks and Scars

by MyMellody19



Series: "I'm fine, don't worry." [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore
Genre: ALL THE DRAMA THOUGH HOLY SHIT, Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Multi, RYAN IS SUPER GAY, Stress, i'm really bad at tagging sorry, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-11 15:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 68,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8996536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyMellody19/pseuds/MyMellody19
Summary: About a month and a half after Ryan's suicide attempt and Spencer's threats to commit murder than suicide if his friend didn't survive, they were both admitted to a mental hospital and they have not been handling it very well. They didn't get to see their friends or enjoy some of summer break before entering their senior year. Will they be able to go home or will they stay there? Find out in the sequel of "I'm fine, don't worry."





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fair warning, the following talks about a lot of sensitive topics. If you're not comfortable reading about topics like suicide, family issues, depression, etc., PLEASE don't read this. I highly suggest clicking the back button and searching for something that you like reading.
> 
>  
> 
> If any of you are struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, family issues, etc., you're not alone. There are people out there who you can reach out to and confide in. I deal with a lot of issues myself and this is just a way for me to express myself artistically. 
> 
> Disclaimer: NONE of the things that occur in this story have happened in real life. This is all a work of fiction.

*Ryan’s POV*

 

 

I woke up in the hospital with tubes attached to me and an oxygen tank hooked up to me to help me with my breathing. I looked around and all I saw were other patients, some doctors and some nurses. No sign of my family or friends anywhere. This was it. I was finally alone. The thing that I feared the most. I looked to my right and my best friend Spencer was sedated and he couldn’t even wake up because the medicine hadn’t worn off yet. I asked a nurse who was walking over to my area, “Excuse me, miss? What am I doing here?”

The nurse replied, “You tried to overdose on sleeping pills and we had to keep you overnight.” She added, “Now, if you’re going to ask about your friend over here, he had to be sedated so he didn’t harm himself or any of the staff.”

I asked shocked, “What?! I don’t remember any of that. How did I end up here?”

“A huge group of people who care about you and your friend both brought you two here,” she said. She looked at my paperwork. “With that high of a dosage of sleeping pills, you’re lucky to even be alive right now.” The nurse said, “You two will be admitted to a mental hospital in a few minutes.” Mental hospital?! The one I went to my freshman year? Oh no. I can’t relive the trauma I experienced there. The next thing I know, people put my hands behind my back and held them there while they escorted me to a strange van. I let out a shrill scream and was trying to get away.

“Let me go! What are you doing to me?” I asked in a hysterical state. I started crying. “Please don’t take me to juvie! I’m not a criminal! Please let me go…”

One of the guys said, “Sir, you’re not going to the juvenile detention center. You are going to a mental hospital.”

I replied, “A mental hospital?! You’re not taking me anywhere, you freaks!” I pried myself free from their grasp and bolted for the exit, but there were more nurses who were trying to prevent me from getting away. I noticed that Spencer was being taken too, which that made me livid. I screamed, “LET ME GO!”

“We need to take you to another hospital, sweetheart. You’re not making this any easier on us, so just remain calm and comply.”

“I’M NOT COMPLYING TO ANYTHING, YOU BASTARDS! KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF ME!” I was kicking and screaming, trying to get Spencer’s attention. I saw nurses manhandling Spencer and that made me snap. I bolted towards them. “Don’t you dare touch him!”

Spencer was confused as to what was happening. “Ryan...what’s going on? These people are manhandling me and I don’t know what I did.”

I said shakily, “S-Spence...they’re taking us to a mental hospital. I don’t want to go. I really don’t.” The next thing I know is that four people grabbed me and put me in a straightjacket so I wouldn’t try to hurt anybody and they tied me to a wheelchair so I wouldn’t get away. A nurse sedated me and I saw everything fade to black. Some time later, I woke up in a strange room with pale gray walls and I soon realized that I was in the same room I was in when I was fourteen. I looked down to see a suitcase and my guitar, which I was lucky to even have. I was all alone in this empty room and my only reaction was tears. They began to slowly roll down my cheeks, crashing onto the blanket. When they came down faster, I was sobbing so hard that I almost choked because I was crying so hard. I heard that god awful crinkling sound and I knew that it was those fucking plastic sheets. I buried my face into a pillow and just sobbed until I fell asleep, resting my head on my tear-drenched pillow.

There was a familiar voice and I looked up to see that it was my nurse Pierre. He looked so concerned about me. He automatically came over and gave me a hug. “Sssshhhh….it’s okay, Ryan. Don’t cry anymore, please. It’s heart wrenching.”

I sniffled. “I-I don’t know why I’m in here, P-Pierre...and I don’t know where Spencer is…”

Pierre gently dabbed my cheeks and my eyes with a tissue. “Ryan, Spencer is in the room next to yours. You’re in here because you tried to kill yourself again. That’s not good, sweetheart.” I felt him pull me into another embrace. “You’re going to be okay, Ryan. Take deep breaths and calm down.” I took a few deep breaths and I calmed down a bit. He said quietly, “There...you okay?” I nodded. Pierre added, “Please don’t cry anymore. Everyone could hear it and it’s heartbreaking to hear something like that come out of a pretty boy like yourself. It even caused some nurses to tear up. So please try not to cry anymore today.”

I said quietly, “I didn’t ask to be in here, Pierre...that’s why I was crying.”

“Sweetheart, I know you didn’t ask to be in here. Nobody in here does,” he replied, holding me close to his body. Pierre stroked my neck-length hair. “You poor thing. Do you need someone here with you?” I nodded. “Who?”

“My band teacher...please...I know I can’t have Spencer in here...but I need my band teacher in here, please.”

Pierre raised an eyebrow. “Are you talking about Nick Slavic?”

I nodded. “Y-Yes...he’s a family friend.”

“I went to college with him! I’ll try to let him come in.”

“Thank you, Pierre. You’re so sweet.” Thank god I have a sweet nurse like Pierre and he’s super cute. That distracts me a little bit. Too bad he’s probably already taken. He’s only about maybe ten years older than me at most. Pierre’s really young. He brought in Nick, which made me feel better knowing that someone I can trust is in here. I said to Pierre, “Thank you.”

Pierre replied, “It’s not a problem, Ryan.” He left the room and Nick closed the door, locking it. He walked over to me and once he got to my bed, he got on top of me.

“Hi, Nick...what’re you doing?” I asked confused. Nick held me close and I could feel tears hitting one of my pillows. I hugged him tightly. “Nick, I didn’t want to do that...I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember what happened and I don’t want to know!”

Nick put his finger to my lips and said smoothly, “I know, my delicate flower. I know you didn’t want to do that.” He leaned in and kissed me smack on my lips, which I actually liked. I may have Brendon, but he’s not here to do this with me, so I guess our band teacher will have to do for now. I returned the favor, sitting up and letting him intrude my mouth with his tongue. After a little bit, we pulled away, feeling a bit guilty about what we did. Nick begged me, “Please don’t tell anyone about this, Ross-a-Roo. I promise to not tell anyone about this either.”

I said quietly, “I’m not gonna tell anyone. Don’t worry. I knew you wanted to make out with me anyway.”

He smirked. “You did, huh?” I nodded with a smile on my face. “Well, I knew that you got all tingly down there every time I talked about chords and that you got all hot and bothered when I taught your class about music history.” 

I blushed. “It’s because you’re so smart, Nick.” I added, “By the way, I know you check me out when nobody’s looking.”

“That’s because I’ve never encountered a boy with a curvy body like yours. A lot of girls would kill to have a body like yours.” He gently squeezed my hips. “You’re very beautiful.”

I laughed. “Nick, I’m not asking to have sex in a hospital room.”

“Why would I want to have sex with one of my students?” he asked. Nick whispered, “I have Aiden. He does me good every week.” My eyes went wide from hearing about Nick with Aiden, which I didn’t want to hear. He giggled. “I didn’t tell you how big he was, so calm down.”

I gulped. “I don’t really want to know how big he is. He already likes the both of us.”

Nick laughed. “I wasn’t going to tell you anyway. That’d make this really awkward.” I let him hold me in his arms and it made me feel very safe. He even stayed with me for a few days. Hopefully this place doesn’t suck for me like it is right now.


	2. Confusion

*Ryan’s POV*

 

 

What a great start to senior year. No, really. I’m spending pretty much all summer in this hospital and I can’t even see my friends at all. Honestly, I don’t even remember what actually happened because I blacked out. I’m sitting on this horrible bed in a room with gray walls and I only have a few places to put my things. I’m literally reliving the last time I was in here, and I just want to cry right now but I can’t. The tears won’t come out. I don’t want to spend my birthday in here. Surprisingly, I saw Mr. Slavic, my band teacher in the same room with me. I looked over and saw that he was up and smiling at me. I said, “Hey there, Nick...what’re you doing here?”

He said, “Hello there, Ryan. I was just about to ask you the same question.”

I shrugged. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here...I don’t remember what happened.”

Nick sat me down next to him. “Ryan, you were lucky enough not to remember what happened, I’ll tell you that.” He cleared his throat. “A little over a month ago, you almost died.” What the hell? How did I almost die? I am so confused right now. Nick continued, “I was over at your house visiting your parents and we were all having dinner. I believe Spencer and Brent were there as well, since your mother invited them all to come over. You said that you needed to take care of something upstairs, but I knew that you just needed some time alone. A half hour passed and there was no sign of you coming back down the stairs at all.” 

I looked at him shocked. “Wh...What did I do, Nick?!”

He said, “I’ll get to that in a moment, Ryan.” Nick took a sip of some water. “There was screaming upstairs, so I went up to look for where the screaming was coming from. Spencer heard it too, so he bolted up the stairs and nearly kicked the door down completely clean off the hinges. Of course, he wouldn’t have been able to kick the door down anyway.” He added, “Turns out, it was you...because your friend was trying to get to you. You were crying out for your mom and she unlocked the door to the bathroom and that was literally the end of it. Your life was hanging by threads.”

My eyes literally filled up with tears. Mama must be so disappointed in me. Dad too. I don’t even know if I can bring myself to face them again after finding out about what I’ve done. I know I don’t remember it, but I feel horrible. I was shaking. “That’s why I’m here?” He nodded and I started crying. “I didn’t want to be put back in this hellhole, Nick!”

Nick replied, “I know. However, they said that you need to be kept in here until you’re not posing a threat to yourself or to others.” He added, “But there’s some good news...you’ll get to see Spencer. He had to go in here too, and he’s not handling it very well either.” 

I furiously wiped away my tears. “Why’s Spencer in here?! Where’s Brent? Why hasn’t Brendon bothered to come here and see his own boyfriend, yet when he’s not at his best, I go to see him every chance I get!?” 

He said sharply, “Get a grip on yourself or else one of these days, you’ll have a heart attack!” He took a deep breath. “Now...Spencer’s in here because he was in such hysteria that he said if you died then he was going to kill everyone in that room and then himself. Brent has been fighting to come in here and see both of you, but the people here wouldn’t budge and let him come in to see you guys.” Nick continued, “Brendon can’t bear to see you like this, Ryan. That’s why he hasn’t come around much. He’s so scared of your condition right now that he’s afraid that if your mom and dad were to say that they wanted you to come home, he’s afraid you’re going to try to kill yourself again...and succeed in doing so.” I was about to ask something, but he cut me off. “Now before you ask me if he broke up with you, no, he hasn’t.”

I sighed. “Well, that’s a relief. I kind of figured he wouldn’t...because he wouldn’t be able to find anybody like me ever again.”

“That’s why he wants you to get better, Ry. Brendon hates seeing you like this,” Nick replied. He added, “By the way, your parents are coming by to see you. They’re bringing Brent and Brendon too. When they get here, try not to cry too much. Too much of that and you’ll be dehydrated.” Nick is so silly, but that’s what I love about him. I heard a knock on my door and Nick told them that they could come in. It was Spencer. Boy, did my face light up when I saw him, and he seemed really happy to see me too. Spencer ran over to me and tackled me.

“Ryro! I’m so happy you’re okay!”

I hugged Spencer tightly. “I’m so happy you’re okay too, Spence!” 

Spencer held my head in his hands. “I thought I’d never be able to see you again. You’re lucky to be alive right now.” He said to Nick, “Oh, hi there, Mr. Slavic. You staying here too?”

Nick nodded. “Until Ryan gets better, of course.” 

“I see,” he said lowly. Spencer continued to talk to me. “As Slavic probably told you, your parents are coming to see you...but my parents aren’t coming to see me. They’re too scared to be around me right now.”

I sighed and combed my fingers through my friend’s hair, getting all the little knots out. “I’m sorry to hear that, Spencer...I wish there was something I could do. Give them some time. They’ll come around eventually.” I noticed that he had all of his stuff with him too beside my bed. I fucking hate these beds. These people gave me plastic sheets because of the last time I was here. I asked him casually, “Say, what’s with all your stuff, Spence?”

Spencer smirked. “Didn’t ya hear, buddy? I’m bunkin’ with ya.” Oh thank goodness. This will make this hellhole a lot easier for me. He gave me a squeeze. “I would never let you be in here by yourself, and you know damn well that Brendon and Brent would be in here with us too.”

“Brendon is kind of a sensitive subject right now, Spence.” I started crying just thinking about him. I can’t bear to face him, especially after I hurt him badly because of me being selfish. Spencer sat down next to me on my bed and comforted me.

“Hey...it’s gonna be okay, Ryan. Brendon’s not mad at you at all. He’s just scared. That’s all.”

I sniffled. “H-He’s definitely mad at me, Spencer, and you know it!”

He shook his head. “Ryro, he’s not mad at you. He’s scared. If he was mad at you, he’d tell you if he was. You just really scared him, but thank god you don’t remember what happened.” Spencer wiped away my tears. “Ryan, you’re going to be okay. Brendon’s gonna be super happy to see you, I promise!”

I sighed. “Honestly...I think my relationship with him is over.”

“Now why do you think that, Ry?”

My hazel eyes darkened and didn’t have that shine they usually do. I said, “I have too much emotional baggage, Spence. He obviously can’t take it anymore. If he does break up with me, I won’t be surprised. I’m nothing but a burden on him...maybe I should’ve succeeded. Then I wouldn’t be in this hellhole of a hospital!” Nick was speechless. I nodded. “Yeah, Nick! Maybe I should go blow my brains out so I don’t become a burden on anyone else! It’s fucking hell for me! I can’t keep living like this anymore.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Ryan, this is exactly why you’re back in here! That’s exactly why I’m in here too! I hate this place just as much as you do, but do you hear me saying that I’m gonna kill myself because I hate it here? Hell no! Y’know what I’m trying to do, Ryan?” I nodded. He continued, “You better. Because you need a lot of help. You’re a hell of a lot more than ‘mentally ill’. You have mental and emotional diseases. You need pills to help you keep your brain’s chemical balance in check. That’s how bad it is. But don’t worry, sweet cheeks! Your good ol’ pal Spencer is getting help too.”

I shouted, “I DON’T NEED FUCKING HELP! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME HERE, SPENCER!” I breathed in sharply. “They’re just gonna put me on more pills and send me to people who don’t even care about me or my situation until I just can’t take it anymore! They don’t care about us here, Spencer! You’ve seen them. Maybe like a few care, but most of them are just here for their fucking paycheck!” I screamed, “WE’RE IN HERE WITH SELFISH, MONEY-GRABBING BASTARDS AND I FUCKING HATE IT!” I broke down sobbing so hard that it was enough to make me suffocate. I breathed in sharply and shuddered. “Th-They treat us like we’re criminals.” I broke down more. “I-I just want Brendon to...h-hold m-me...and he’s not here to do that. My own mom must be so disappointed in me because of me being selfish and my dad’s probably going to end up killing me when I get out of here!”

He said sharply, “Calm your crazy ass down before you have a fucking heart attack!” Spencer looked me dead in the eye. “Listen to me. You need some help, and whether you like it or not, you’re getting it. I know you don’t like it here. I don’t like it here either, but we both need to get better so we can get out of here as soon as possible. If you need me to be in there when you talk to the doctors, I’ll be in there with you. I know you better than most people. We’ve been friends since we were little Rugrats runnin’ around, and I want the best for you.” He added, “You know that I’m not gonna sugarcoat everything for you like Brendon does. I’m telling you straight up that you need to do your time here and get help before you go back home. You may not like me telling you this, but you’re fucked up in the head, and that scares not only me, but everyone around you. You’re even freaking out Mr. Slavic with all your crazy mood swings, your panic attacks, everything.” 

I replied, “Spencer, I can’t help being this way! I’m very well aware of my mood swings, my depression, my anxiety, my panic attacks, and everything else that’s wrong with me. You don’t need to tell me that I’m fucked up in the head because I already know how fucked up I am.”

“Ry, I’m not telling you that you’re fucked up in the head to attack you.”

I sighed. “I’ve been in and out of therapy, I’m on a shit ton of medication, and nothing has helped me.”

Nick asked, “You’ve got music, don’t you?”

“I have my guitar and my journal here, but I’ve been too down to even pick them up.” I looked down at my hands. I’m too embarrassed by what I am to even look at either one of them. Spencer grabbed my guitar that was in its case and my journal that had lyrics to the songs I wrote. I shook my head. “Spencer, don’t do this.”

Spencer said, “If talking to these doctors won’t help you, this guitar and this journal will. Write something. Play a song or two. Sing until your lungs give out. This is the best therapy for you that we could think of. Even most of the docs here don’t know that.” He added, “So you need to at least write down how you’re feeling in a song form like I know you know how to do. If Brendon sees that, do you know how happy that’s gonna make him? He’ll see that you’re recovering. I’ve been bangin’ on everything I could get my hands on to medicate myself, so you need to do the same.” 

He’s right. I have to medicate myself with the love I have for music. I pulled myself together, calmed down and went straight to taking my guitar out of its case to play it. When I started playing it, I felt so alive and not dead like I have been for the past month or so. The hospital said that patients aren’t really allowed to have stuff like this, but since it helps Spencer, me, and a few others, they made exceptions for us. I’m surprised that they let Spencer have his drumsticks. I could’ve sworn they snapped in half by now. I was playing the song I wrote for Brendon but couldn’t bring myself to sing it right now. Maybe later when I’m alone. Spencer was watching me the whole time until I stopped playing. While I was putting my guitar back in its case, Nick hugged me tightly, which is just what I needed. I needed someone to hug and comfort me. It made me feel so much better.

“You feeling any better?” he asked.

I nodded. “I’m feeling a lot better.” I hugged Spencer tightly. “Thanks, Spence.”

Spencer smiled. “It’s not a problem. I didn’t want you to be sad the whole time. It really hurts me to see you in pain like that.” He held me tightly. “If you want, you can sleep in my bed with me. Those plastic sheets must suck.”

I blushed. “It’s because I refused to use the pans that they gave me when I came here the first time.” I laughed. “I just pissed in the bed to piss them off.”

He started laughing. “Oh my god...fucking savage. I’d do the same thing, actually. Those pans are gross.” Spencer said, “You’re super demure and classy on the surface, but you’re also a badass. It’s hilarious.” It finally came to him. He gasped. “I know how to make this place not so bad for you. Just keep thinking about things that are funny! That should keep you busy for a while.” 

Nick got up and hugged both of us, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “I have to get going, guys. You two stay out of trouble.” He said to me, “Kanga-Roo, you’re more than welcome to call me later if you need anything. Spence, you’re more than welcome to do the same.” After that, he left our room and went home, I’m assuming. We heard knocking on the door. 

“Who is it?” Spencer asked.

“It’s Brendon and Brent! We came over here to see you guys.”

I said, “Come in!” The door opened and there they were. I squealed. “Beeb!”

Brendon responded in the same way. “Roo!” He ran over and gave me a tight hug. He said, “Oh, I’ve missed you so much, babe! How are you feeling?”

I sighed. “I’m feeling a lot better, now that I can touch you again.” Spencer placed his hand on my back and gave me a good pat.

“What’s goin’ on, Ryan? Talk to me.”

I said, “I’ve just been feeling lonely here. At least I have Spencer here to keep me company.” I felt tears threatening to fill in my eyes, but I held them back to try to stay strong for Brendon. I continued, “I missed you so much, Brendon. Every time I thought about you or I heard your name, I just broke down and cried because of how much I’ve hurt you.” I said quietly, “I’m so sorry, Brendon. I promise, I won’t do this to you ever again.”

Brendon looked into my eyes. “Ro, it’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I know and understand that you’re mentally ill and things like this happen to you. I know you didn’t mean to do that...I know that you didn’t want to do that, but your mind was telling you to do it.” He added, “I was scared, Ryan. Not of you, but of your mental stability. That’s why I haven’t been here much. I really wanted to come here and see you, but those doctors wouldn’t let me anywhere near you. Don’t think that just because I stayed silent and didn’t call you that I was breaking up with you.”

“Face it, Brendon. I’ve got a lot of emotional baggage, and that’s weighing you down. I know it is, and I’m so sorry for putting all of that on you.”

He said, “You really need to stop thinking like that! First off, you do not have emotional baggage, and even if you did, it wouldn’t be weighing me down. Second, don’t apologize for something that’s out of your control! Ever! I will always love you no matter what. Don’t you forget that.” Brendon turned to Brent. “Brent, fire away.”

I smiled. “I know I need to stop thinking like that. It’s just my instincts, I guess. I love you very much, Beeb, and I don’t want to lose you.” I hugged Brent. “Hi there, Brent. How are ya?”

Brent shrugged. “Could be worse. Hanging out hasn’t been the same without you two being there. It’s been driving me insane.” He took me over to the side to talk to me alone. He said, “Ry, Brendon and I need you and Spence to get better. Spencer’s doing a lot better, from what I can see. You, on the other hand, I don’t know. You’re very difficult to read...but I can tell you’re getting better. Stay positive and you’ll be out of here in no time. I know you can do that.” 

I sighed. “I’m trying to stay positive, but with everything going on, I can’t exactly stay positive about anything.” I continued, “It’s been really hard not being able to get out very often. The only good I’m getting out of this is Spencer bunking with me and I want him to be in here with me until we both get out of this hellhole.”

“Hey. I know how you feel. I had to spend some time over here too, but for a different reason,” he replied. Brent explained, “I was in here because of some trauma, which you already know about. It sucked for me too, but you know what I did? I just stuck it out until my dad came and took me home. That’s what you’ve gotta do. Do whatever that’ll keep your mind off of this place.” He whispered, “I used those cute nurses to distract me when I couldn’t play my bass or bug Spence.”

I chuckled. “You should see mine. He’s super cute. He looks like Aiden and Nick combined, and his name is Pierre.”

Brent laughed. “I can imagine. Aiden’s a hunk.” He added, “And he seems to really like you. I could tell because of the way he talks about you and the way he looks at you.” 

I giggled. “Brent, quit trying to steal him from me. You know I have a huge crush on him.”

“Same with basically every single girl who has him. What they don’t know is that he’s bi.”

“Meh. Not like that bothers me.” 

Brent brushed some of his hair out of his face. “On a serious note though, just do what you need to do in order to get the chance to go home. I know you don’t like it here.” He asked, “Say, how long did they say that you had to stay here?”

Spencer answered for me, “Ry has to stay for a couple more weeks and I have to stay for a couple more weeks too.” 

He said, “See, Ry? You can do this. In a couple weeks, you and Spence will be out of here and back to partying with your boyfriend and me! We’ve got a bunch of stuff planned for this summer.” Pierre came in and said that we needed to wrap it up, so Brendon pulled me close to his body and kissed me. I’ve been longing for that kiss for over a month. It’s been hell not having someone there to hold me and kiss me. At least I can sleep with Spencer to give me security. Pierre asked me:

“How’re you doing, Ryan? You feeling a little better than this morning?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m feeling better. I’m just happy that I got to see my boyfriend for the first time in a month and a half.”

Spencer added, “And Brent too. He was worried like crazy.”

Pierre laughed. “I bet they were. Say, I heard music in here earlier.”

“Oh, that was me. It’s therapeutic for me,” I said.

He nodded. “I bet it is.” Pierre noticed that I was laying down next to Spencer. “You don’t want to sleep in your bed, Ryan?”

I shook my head. “I don’t. I can’t stand the plastic sheets on it.”

Pierre sighed. “You know why we put the plastic sheets on your bed...it’s because you kept wetting the bed the last time you were here.”

“Those pans are fucking filthy. I don’t care how many times they wash them out! I am not using them! I didn’t have surgery, so I don’t understand why we’re all given those even though most of us don’t even use them.”

He replied, “Ryan, I know how you feel. I do, but there are people who are extremely incontinent and they can’t get up quickly to use the toilet. That’s why we give out the pans.”

I felt myself seething with anger. “Pierre, I am not a fucking child, nor am I incontinent. I am very capable of using the toilet, thank you very much. The only reason that I would wet the bed is because of stress.”

Pierre tried to calm me down. “Ryan, you need to calm down or else I’m going to have to get some more nurses in here to sedate you. Do you want that?”

Spencer comforted me. “Ry, I don’t want to be separated from you. Just please calm down. I don’t want to see you get sedated.” I was shaking like a leaf in Spencer’s arms. He said, “Ryan, relax! He’s not going to get them in here to sedate you. I won’t let him. Just calm down before you do something stupid, please!”

“Has he taken his medication today, Spencer?” he asked. Spencer shrugged.

“I don’t know if he has, to be honest with you, Pierre.”

Pierre asked me, “Ryan, have you taken your medication today or no?”

I replied, “Yes, but I don’t have my anxiety medication. I need to take that or else I have panic attacks that are so bad that I puke and then pass out.”

“You are on a lot of medications, Ryan, and it’s not normal for someone your age to be on all that medicine,” he said with a sigh. I began to hyperventilate and sweat. “Ryan, are you okay?” I couldn’t respond because I felt really dizzy. Pierre went into a panicked state. “Spencer, is he okay? I’ve never seen him like this before!”

Spencer said, “No, he’s not okay.” He asked me, “Ryan, is the room spinning?”

I nodded. “Y-Yes...the room’s spinning and I feel nauseous right now.” Spencer automatically got up and took me to the bathroom. I threw up in the toilet and was still shaking while Spencer was holding onto me. He asked:

“Dude! How long have they not given you that medicine?”

I replied with an agonizing groan, “They haven’t given me that medicine for over a week.” I kept heaving for an agonizing five minutes. I screamed, “YOU MONEY-GRABBING BASTARDS! YOU DON’T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT ANYONE HERE! FUCK ALL OF YOU! I SAID I NEEDED THAT MEDICINE, BUT YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN IT TO ME! FUCK OFF!” Pierre came in and was horrified by what he was seeing. I was breathing in and out shakily. “See, Pierre? This is what happens when I don’t take my anxiety medication.”

Pierre asked, “Do you need me to get someone in here?”

Spencer replied for me. “It’d be best if you didn’t. He’s already been puking and heaving for about ten minutes now, and having multiple people in here would make it a lot worse.”

“See, I’m not in charge of giving patients their medication. Leah’s in charge of that. She can help you.”

I said to Pierre, “Well, Leah’s not doing a very good job! I haven’t had that medicine in over a week, even though my parents and my doctor have specifically told you guys to give me it. I can fucking sue this place for that.”

Pierre looked at me wide-eyed. “Ryan, I have no control over the medication here. I work in a different area. I can talk to Leah and see if Vicky can give you the medicine that you haven’t had in over a week.” He added, “I didn’t know you haven’t had it in over a week.”

I rolled my eyes. “Pierre, I’m not mad at you because one, I like you and two, you didn’t know, so I can’t be mad at you for not knowing something.”

“I know you’re not. I think it’s bogus how some people here don’t follow instructions.”

I nodded. “Yes, it is.”

Spencer asked him, “Is it okay if I call Ryan’s mom so she can talk to the people who are responsible for the medication?”

“Sure.” Pierre left the room and we were left to our own demise. I sure hope my mom picks up the phone. I dialed my mom’s number and sure enough, she picked up. I heard her saying:

“Hello?”

I replied in a shaky voice, “M-Mama...I need you right now.” 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

I almost started crying over the phone. “Th-They wouldn’t give me my meds, Mama…”

My mom replied, “They haven’t given you the anxiety medication you have to take, have they?”

“N-No, Mama,” I said, breaking down sobbing.

“How long has it been since they gave you it, Ryan?”

I sniffled. “I-It’s been over a week...almost two weeks coming up.” My mom was furious. She knows that I’m supposed to have that medicine. She asked:

“What?! I’m coming over there to get you and Spencer right now. Nobody neglects my baby!” Mama took a breather. “Your father wants to speak to you.”

“H-Hey, Dad.”

My dad said, “What’s with the waterworks, Ro? Your mom’s pissed right now. What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath. “These people wouldn’t give me my meds...my anxiety meds.”

“Why the fuck aren’t they givin’ you it?”

“They said that it’s because I’m on too many medications even though there are people who are on way more meds than I am!”

My dad said firmly, “Ryan, you’re coming home right now. So’s your friend Spencer. We’re comin’ to get you boys.” 

I said, “Thank you...I love you both.”

“We love you too, Ro. Hang tight. We’ll be over there to get you.” With that, he hung up and I felt a little better. Spencer held me in his arms, not letting me go anytime soon. He let me go when he could feel that I was relaxing a bit more.

“What’d they say, Ry?” Spencer asked.

I replied, “They said that they’re coming to get us.”

Spencer sighed in relief. “That’s a relief. If you want me to, I can stay over at your house and keep you and Brendon company.” 

“Will your parents be okay with it though?”

He nodded. “Sure they will! They know I’m safe when I’m with you!” He added, “Besides, my mom said that I have to be with you.”

I gulped. “I don’t want to drive you away, Spencer.”

“Ryro, you won’t drive me away. You’re my best friend and I love you.” It was only a matter of time until my parents came and boy were they pissed. Spencer perked up when he heard that knock on the door. He opened the door and said, “Hey there, George and Dani.”

My dad asked, “Where are those people who are in charge of this place? I’m gonna have a word with them.” I got up and hugged my dad. He smiled. “Well, hey there, Ro.”

I said, “I think they’re at the front desk, Dad. Be calm about it though.” He nodded and went to the front desk to talk to the people at the front desk. When I saw my mom, I gave her a big hug and a kiss on her cheek. I said, “Mama!”

“I’m so happy you’re not all teary-eyed anymore, my sweet baby,” she replied as she coddled me. My mom asked me, “Are you feeling okay now, Ryan?”

I nodded. “I’m feeling a lot better now that you and Dad are here, Mama.” My dad came back with a young cute male nurse. I asked, “How’d everything go, Dad?”

My dad replied, “Everything went just fine, Ro. You and Spence are comin’ home. I talked to his parents and they’re fine with him staying at our house for a little while.”

Spencer grabbed his stuff that was still in his suitcase. “Yes! Parties and staying up late, here we come!” The male nurse asked:

“So what’s going on in this room, Mr. and Mrs. Ross? I’m completely lost.” 

My mom explained to him, “The people you work with refused to give my son his medication that he’s required to take, so we’re taking him and his friend home.”

He nodded. “I’m very sorry to hear that, Mrs. Ross. I’m not in charge of the medication; I work in a different area, which is discharging patients and letting them go home.” He turned to me and shook my hand. “I’m Miles. You must be Ryan.”

I nodded. “Yes, I am him.”

“Now I’m going to ask you a few questions, okay? Answer as accurately as possible,” Miles replied. I nodded in response. He asked me, “What was the medication that you were not able to take?”

I replied, “My anxiety meds.”

“Okay. How long has it been since you last had said medication?”

“Over a week, actually. It’s been close to two weeks,” I said. “I’ve asked them to give me that medication, but they said I was on too many medications even though there are people who are on way more medications than I am.” 

Miles raised an eyebrow. “Really? Did you experience any extreme symptoms due to the absence of the medicine you needed in order to calm your anxiety?”

I sighed. “I was shaking like a leaf, the room was spinning and it caused me to throw up and heave for ten minutes. I nearly passed out in my friend Spencer’s arms.”

“So you had a full-blown panic attack?” he asked. I nodded. Miles cleared his throat. “The people who work with the medication aren’t very good at their job, honestly. Who is your nurse?”

I answered, “Pierre.”

Miles smiled. “Pierre’s a cutie. He didn’t know that you haven’t had the medicine in almost two weeks, correct?” I shook my head as to say that he didn’t know. He continued, “Did he report to Leah or Vicky?” I nodded. He asked, “And was Spencer a witness?” I nodded again. “Well, aren’t we in a pickle right now.”

My mom asked him, “They’ll both get to come home, right?”

“Yes, they will, Mrs. Ross,” Miles said to her. He said to Spencer, “Spencer, I would like to talk to you a little bit too, since you were a witness.” Miles asked him, “What exactly happened in your eyes, Spencer?”

Spencer explained, “Well, first off, I came into Ryan’s room because I was bunking with him. We had a couple visitors in here earlier, which was his boyfriend and one of our friends. Ryan’s nurse came in and told them that they needed to wrap it up so he could check on the both of us, specifically Ryan. Pierre noticed that Ryan was lying next to me on my bed and he asked him if he didn’t like his mattress. Ryan told him that he didn’t like the plastic sheets, which was why he was lying next to me on my bed in the first place. Pierre also asked him if he had taken his meds, which he did, except for the said anxiety medication that his parents and his doctor specifically told your co workers in the medication department to give him.” He took a drink of some water before he continued, “See, I didn’t know that Ryan wasn’t given it in over a week until he told his nurse about it. His nurse went on to say that my friend is on a lot of medications and it’s ‘not normal’ for someone his age to be taking all of that, which was bullshit. Ryan was getting frustrated so Pierre told him that if he didn’t calm down, he’d have to get a bunch of nurses in here to sedate him and neither of us wanted that. I comforted him and everything, but he was shaking like a leaf. I knew he was beginning to have a full-blown panic attack, and Pierre didn’t know what to do since he’d never seen him like that before. That was when I asked Ryan if the room was spinning, which he said yes and that he was feeling nauseous, so I quickly took him to the bathroom and he was puking and heaving for about ten minutes, maybe fifteen at most. He nearly passed out after that.” Spencer finished, “We called his parents and now we’re here right now talkin’ to you.”

Miles looked at him wide-eyed. “Wow. Your sides of what happened are pretty much identical.”

I rolled my eyes. “We’re best friends, so of course both of us have identical viewpoints.” He finished up the paperwork and fixed it up so it would be tidy. I asked him, “Do you believe us, Miles?”

“Of course I believe you! Who in their right mind would forget something as important as medicine for their patients?” Miles replied. He said, “Well, my work here is done. You two are free to go. Grab your suitcases and belongings and get out of here. You two have suffered enough here.”

My eyes lit up. “Oh, thank you so much, Miles! You’re a lifesaver.” I automatically packed up my things, which wasn’t very much and I walked out of there with my suitcase and my guitar in my hands. My mom helped me with carrying some of my stuff and we were waiting for Spencer to get his things packed up and ready to go. I can’t believe we’re going home and we only had two more weeks of being in this hellhole. I gave a nice smile to the lady at the front desk. “Goodbye, Mary!” I said to her co worker, “By the way, I’m going to take the fuckers in the medication department to court for neglecting to follow specific instructions that my parents and my doctor gave them. Really comes to show how shitty mental hospitals are.”

The younger woman looked at me wide-eyed. “Why would you want to take them to court, sir?”

I replied, “Because they neglected to give me medicine that I needed for my anxiety and to prevent me from having panic attacks that are so bad that I vomit and then pass out. Since they couldn’t manage to at least listen to me, their asses are getting sued. Now the rest of the facility will not be affected by this in any way, so you don’t need to worry.” 

“I think you need to talk to Leah about this because I don’t do business with her.”

Spencer intervened. “Well, this Leah didn’t do her fucking job to help my friend!” 

My mom comforted me. “Ry-Ry, that’s enough. I think you made your point.”

My dad chimed in. “These fuckers didn’t do shit to help him!” He took me with him to the medication department. “C’mon, boy. Your old man’s gonna take care of this.” When we got there, one of the staff was there. “Hello. I’d like to speak to Leah.”

The girl who was there said, “Leah is with a patient at the moment, but I’ll be willing to speak with you two directly. I’m Vicky.”

I replied warmly, “Well, hello there, Vicky.” 

“You must be the Ross boy.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I am, and you didn’t give me my meds. You neglected to follow specific instructions that my parents and my doctor gave to you and the rest of your staff.” I let her feel how much I’m quivering. “You feel how badly I’m quivering right now, Vicky? That’s because I haven’t had my anxiety medication. You want me to have another panic attack right here in front of you to prove it to you?”

Vicky shook her head. “No no no, I don’t want to see you have a panic attack.” Unfortunately, she was too late to say that because I was shaking badly and I passed out in my dad’s arms. My dad put me in one of the wheelchairs and said to her:

“We’ll see you in court.”

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

“Dani, what’s takin’ George and Ryro so long? Is everything okay with them?” I asked Danielle, who was just as worried as I was. We both saw Ryan out cold and George was pushing him in a wheelchair. I had his suitcase and Danielle had his guitar. I asked George, “What happened to Ryan, George?”

George said, “Ryan had another panic attack and passed out. I caught him before he could hit the floor and put him in this wheelchair.” He said to me, “Don’t panic, Spence, I didn’t beat on him.”

I laughed. “I wasn’t even going to ask that.” I rolled out both of our suitcases and put them in the trunk of their minivan before tending to Ryan, picking him up and putting him in the backseat next to me. Danielle put Ryan’s guitar in the trunk as well, closing it shut and getting in the driver’s seat while George sat in the front with her. We closed the doors and we were off to their house. I was still holding Ryan close to me like I would with a baby until we got to the house. I carried him up to his room and laid him down on his bed, tucking him in and going back down to get our stuff. I brought all of our things to his room and laid down next to him, exhausted. I knew that Brendon wasn’t there at the moment, so this will be a huge surprise for him. I stayed awake for Ryan so he would have someone to greet when he wakes up. At least he’ll wake up in his own room and not at some hospital. A few hours later, Ryan woke up to his parents being in here, Brent and Brendon being in here and of course me being in here. The first thing he said was:

“Hey there...what’s goin’ on? We having a party?”

George laughed a bit. “You’re home, boy.”

Ryan smiled. “Am I really in my own soft bed?” He looked up at all of us. “Are we finally out of there?”

Danielle nodded. “Yes, you’re in your own bed and you’re out of there, honey.” He automatically hugged me tightly. “And Spencer’s here with you.”

He asked me, “What happened while I was out, Spence?”

I said, “Well, Ry, your dad saw you have another full-blown panic attack and you passed out. He took you out of there in a wheelchair and I was holding you until we got to your house. I was lying here next to you until you woke up.”

Brendon hugged him. “At least I get to see my luminous moon now!”

Ryan laughed. “And I get to see my bright sun!” At least we’re out of that stupid hospital and we can have some fun this summer. It’s only the beginning. Why waste it in a hospital? That’s no fun. With that aside, I’m just so happy that we’re home.


	3. Things Don't Always Go As Planned

*Brendon’s POV*

 

I’m so happy that Ryan’s finally out of there. I knew that he hated it in that hospital. At least he can finally be where he feels safe, which is with his family and friends. Spencer’s out of there too, which is surprising because I didn’t expect him to come back so soon. I don’t think his parents expected it either. I went in to check on Ryan and Spencer to see if they were up, but they weren’t. If you’re going to ask about Brent, he was in the room I’m staying in. George and Danielle can’t really make me pay rent because I’m still in high school and I have plenty of money saved up anyway. I want to move into a place with Ryan after we graduate. We’ve planned it out and everything. Hell, we could have Spencer and Brent with us too. We’d all have to work, but we all have jobs outside of school anyway. Ryan’s literally the only one out of all of us who has worked while school was in session (he works for Mr. Steele).

Brent woke up and said, “Mornin’, Brendon.” 

I replied, “Mornin’. Did you sleep good?” Brent shrugged. I said, “Figures. Ryan’s had problems sleeping too.” Ever since I met Ryan, he’s always had problems sleeping.

“He’s had sleeping problems forever. I just so happen to have some trouble sleeping too. It’s not uncommon, Brendon,” he said. I had no idea Brent had problems sleeping like Ryan does. Maybe it’s because he has to take care of his dad and his little brother, or maybe the stress from his mom not making the best decisions. It could be a number of things, but it’s more likely to be one of these. Brent asked, “Bet you wanna know why exactly I have problems sleeping, huh?” I nodded. He sighed. “Well, it’s because I have to work pretty much all week, even during school time. I also feel as if I have to pitch in for bills and stuff because I feel bad if I don’t help out my dad. And then there’s Blake who I take to places. Not that I mind.” He added, “But that’s not really why. It’s because of stress with my family, which is mainly my mother, worrying about things I shouldn’t even be concerned about at this age, and worrying about you, Spence and Ryan.”

I looked at him with pure concern. “Brent, you really don’t need to worry so much. You’re going to stress yourself out even more.”

Brent shrugged. “I kind of have to because I don’t want anything bad to happen to my family. Plus I just care too much sometimes.”

“That’s understandable.” I smiled. I blushed and asked hesitantly, “I-I kind of wanted to ask you something. Promise you won’t freak out?”

He laughed. “I’m not gonna freak out. What is it?” I hesitated a bit, thinking about how to ask him without sounding weird. Brent said, “B, there’s nothing that I haven’t been asked before. Just fire away. I won’t get offended.”

I gulped. “Brent, are you and Spencer a thing or no?” Brent looked at me confused. I clarified, “Like, are you two together romantically?”

Brent shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t really know as of right now. I know Spencer really likes me...I like him...and we both click in a lot of ways. He’s a great guy and he wants to be in a relationship with me and I want it too, but I don’t want to wreck our friendship.”

I replied, “Oh. I understand. I made that mistake when I dated one of my friends. I wrecked a friendship...now she doesn’t even want to see me.” 

“Let’s be real here, Brendon. You’re a hell of a lot happier with Ryan than you were with those chicks you dated, so if she does happen to see you, you can shove your relationship in her face,” he said. Brent continued, “You can love whoever you want to. The only person who’s able to stop you is you. What happened in your past is the past. Ryan’s your focus now. You wanna marry him after we graduate, don’t you?” 

“Of course I do, Brent. I love him.”

Brent replied, “Then don’t worry about those chicks you dated in the past. They’re nothing to you now.” He’s right. Those girls I dated in the past are nothing but exes to me and I shouldn’t even be worrying about them. Sure I may miss maybe two at most, but I’m a lot happier with Ryan. As far as my parents are concerned, I love them and I miss them, but at the same time I don’t miss them at all. I can love whoever I want to. If I want to marry Ryan, then I’m sure as hell going to marry him. He makes me so happy. His presence...his beautiful hazel eyes...his smile...his soft sweet voice that has a pinch of sleepiness to it...everything about him makes me happy. Why shouldn’t I be happy? I’d rather be in a long and committed relationship with a guy who makes me happy and be shunned by society for it than be in a cliché heterosexual relationship with a girl who will only use me.

I shrugged. “I thought my parents were cool with me being bisexual and being with Ryan, but once I came out as an atheist, all hell broke loose.” 

“I know. It’s stupid. Believe me, I know how that feels.” Brent gave me a hug. “Besides, your parents still love you, I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t know about that. They were pissed when they found out.”

Brent gave me a pat on the back. “Y’know, they’ll get over it eventually. Sure it’s a bit shocking because they’re Mormons and all, but they’ll come to accept that you’re different. Sooner or later, they’ll beg you to come home.”

I laughed. “Not a chance, Brent. They’re not like your mom.”

“My mom’s crazy.”

I asked, “Say, did your mom ever dump that Rob guy?”

Brent nodded. “Yeah, she did. She finally opened her eyes to what I said to her about a month ago or so. I don’t know who the new guy is, but I hope he treats her right.”

“Well, that’s good.”

He shrugged. “I guess so. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna go back with her. I’m still gonna stay with my dad and my brother.”

I said, “That’s your decision. Of course what my parents did was illegal, but whatever. I’ll make it.” I nudged Brent’s side. “Say, you wanna go bug Ry and Spence?”

“Sure.” We walked into Ryan’s room and saw that Spencer was holding him protectively as my boyfriend kept snoozing away. Spencer was obviously wide awake. Brent walked over to him and said, “Well, hey there, Spence.”

Spencer said, “Hi.” He was still holding Ryan. “Ryan sleeps like a baby and it’s cute.” 

Brent laughed. “You like watching him sleep?”

“Sure, I guess?”

I smiled. “Not surprised. He looks so cute when he’s sleeping.” I gently stroked Ryan’s hair and kissed his cheeks, trying not to wake him up too quickly. Spencer let him go and went downstairs so I could lay next to Ryan. I pulled the covers over the both of us and began snuggling him to feel his warmth. Ryan finally woke up, fluttering his pretty hazel eyes open and looking at me. I said softly, “Well, good morning, sleepyhead.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “Sleep good, sweetie?”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah. It feels good to be home and in my own bed.” He looked up at Brent. “Hey there, Brent.”

“Sup, buddy? You feeling better?” he asked. Ryan nodded. Brent ruffled up his hair. “Good. Glad to hear that. You sure look a lot happier.” 

“I feel so much happier,” he said. His mom came up the stairs with Spencer and she knocked on the door. Ryan said, “Come in!” Danielle came over to coddle him. “Morning, Mama.”

Danielle asked, “How’s my sweet baby? Did you sleep good in your own bed?” He nodded. She said to us, “I got breakfast made for you boys.”

Ryan kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Mama.” 

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

I decided to call my mom and dad to let them know that I’m okay. I dialed the house phone and I waited until they picked up. The first voice I heard was one of my sisters. She said, “Hello?”

I replied, “Hey! Is this Crys or Jackie?” She giggled.

“This is Jackie, Spence!” 

“Oh, hi there, Jackie. Are Mom and Dad home?” I asked.

Jackie said, “Mom’s home.” She called for Mom. “Mommy! Spencer’s on the phone! He wants to talk to you, Mommy!” I heard my mom responding and taking the phone from Jackie. She said:

“Hello?”

I replied, “Hi, Mom.”

“Spencer, is that you?” she asked.

“Yes, Mom, it’s me.”

She gasped. “Spencer, I’m so happy to hear your voice! I was worried sick about you.” My mom asked, “Are you still in the hospital or are you at Ryan’s?”

I said, “I’m at Ryan’s. George and Dani took us home last night.”

“This is so soon though. Why did they have to come get you and Ryan?”

I sighed. “Mom...you know how Ryan has to take a bunch of medication, right?” She responded. I continued, “Well, they wouldn’t give him his anxiety meds. He hasn’t been able to take it for almost two weeks. He took it this morning, thankfully.” I finished, “Long story short, they took us home because the people were being negligent of the instructions that were specifically given from George, Dani and Ryan’s doctor.”

My mom replied, “Oh...well, at least you two boys are okay.” 

“Yeah, I’m so happy he’s okay. I’m more concerned about him than about myself, honestly. How’s Dad?”

“Your father’s working right now. I’ll let him know that you called.” She laughed softly. “You sound so much better, Spencer James. I’m so happy you’re okay.”

I smiled. “That place was a nightmare anyway. Ryan was basically crying the whole time he was there...and I felt so numb. I couldn’t really feel anything. It was all just a shock.”

Mom said, “You don’t even want to know what happened, sweetheart.” 

“I kind of know what happened...but I blacked out.”

It was a good thing I blacked out because it could’ve ended ugly. Of course I didn’t expect to hear Ryan going completely nuts and see him get put in a straightjacket. That was crazy. At least that’s all over with. This was yet another traumatizing experience for the both of us, but we survived it, so that’s good. I know one thing’s for sure; I’m never going back to that hospital ever again. My mom had to cut the conversation short and she hung up after we said our goodbyes. Hopefully everything will be okay at my house when I go there because it’s been a rough month and a half. We weren’t even out of school when we were put in there. Thankfully, the school didn’t make Ryan and me repeat junior year because this year was already torture. I walked back inside to check on Ryan and make sure he was okay. I asked him, “Hey, Ry. You doing okay?”

He smiled at me. “I’m doing good, thanks.” Ryan asked me, “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Just was talkin’ to my mom. She told me to tell you she says hi and that she’s thinking about you. She’s glad you’re okay.”

Ryan replied, “Your mother is a great woman. She’s like my second mom.”

“Same with your mom. She’s great. We share moms, I guess,” I said with a laugh. Speaking of Dani, she was making coffee for George. For the past couple months, George has been getting a lot better, especially with Ryan. I know he’s a good guy when he’s sober. He actually never used to be that bad. He didn’t get this bad until we hit middle school. I sensed changes in him that I couldn’t comprehend at the time, but now that I’m older, I understand completely. He got so bad that Ryan would either be too scared to be around him or his dad would leave him in random places. I’m so glad his mom isn’t like that. I can’t imagine her being like her husband when he’s drunk. She’s way too sweet for that. That’d scare Ryan to death. She’s basically his only sane parent. Ryan walked over to his mom and asked:

“Mama, do you need anything?”

Dani said to him, “I’m okay for right now, sweetheart. Thank you for asking, Ry-Ry.” She gave him a hug. “My sweet baby.”

Ryan laughed. “I love you too, Mama.” She went back to doing what she was doing and Ryan came back over to me. He said, “Spence, we should go out with Brent and Brendon.”

I sighed. “I don’t think Brent’s up to it, Ryro. He’s exhausted from work and having to drive his brother back and forth.” I asked, “You’ve got a job, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I work for Mr. Steele, remember?”

I scoffed. “Lucky. You get a hot teacher to employ you and I got a boss who bitches at me for something someone else’s dumbass does.”

Ryan offered, “I can talk to Aiden and see if you could work for him too.”

“No, it’s fine, Ry. I was kidding. But you are lucky for getting employed by a hot teacher.”

He blushed. “Boy, do I have the hots for him too. He’s more like a father figure than my own dad, honestly. I almost called him ‘Daddy’ a few times.”

I replied, “Honestly, that is true about him. Nick is also like a big brother to everyone too...especially the four of us, which is nice. We have someone who we can click with.” And we have Autumn too. I saw Ryan’s dad walking in and I said, “Hey, George.” His dad replied with:

“Well, hey there, Spencer. Talkin’ with Ro, huh?”

“Yeah.”

George came over to Ryan and gave him a pat on the back. “You feelin’ okay, Ro?” It was really weird to hear him ask that because he never really did ask Ryan anything about his illnesses in the past. Well, that was because he mostly stayed away whenever Ryan had any sort of meltdown because of a few reasons: he didn’t want to deal with it, he had no idea how to handle it, or he was the cause of the meltdowns and he felt guilty but hid it behind the booze.

Ryan looked at him and responded with a touch of sadness to his voice, “I’m fine, Dad. Thanks for asking.” I honestly can’t believe he’d ask about Ryan’s well-being when he was almost always either working or in the attic drinking himself to a coma. It angered me, but I tried not to show it. I don’t want to be on George’s bad side. Ryan walked back upstairs to his room and hid in there. I heard Brent saying to Danielle that he was going to head home.

 

*Ryan's POV*

 

I can’t believe my own dad is finally concerned about my well-being all of a sudden. Maybe he finally realizes how much he’s hurt me and Mama and he’s trying to make up for it. Let’s see how long that lasts. I know it’s not going to last very long and he’s going to relapse, so I’m up here in my room crying. Any sound I made was muffled by my pillow, even though I wasn’t making any sounds at all really. I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door and I heard a familiar voice.

“Ryan, are you okay?”

I responded, “Who’s there?”

“It’s Mama.”

I thought about it for a moment, then said, “Come in, Mama.” She came in cautiously and closed the door behind her before sitting by me on my bed. I sniffled. “S-Sorry you have to see me like this, Mama.”

“Sweetie, it’s okay. I’m not upset with you,” she replied in her sweet caring voice. Mama held me close and asked, “What’s the matter, Ryan?”

I sighed shakily. “I-I’m a bit mad at Dad. He’s all concerned about my well-being all of a sudden and he’s never been like this before.” I added, “I guess I’m just not used to it.”

Mama said, “I’ve noticed that too. Your father has always been concerned about your well-being, Ryan. He just couldn’t really show it because he was masking it with the alcohol.” She continued, “He either can’t or doesn’t know how to properly deal with you when you’re having meltdowns and stuff. Or it could be that he feels so guilty that he stays away until it stops. None of that is your fault.” Good, because I don’t want to feel like a freak more than I already do. She said, “Please don’t feel like you’re a burden. You were born with things that are completely out of your control. That’s not your fault, Ryan. Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up over things you can’t help having. Please.”

I nodded. “Thanks, Mama.”

She smiled. “It’s not a problem, Ry-Ry. I love you very much. More than you’ll ever know.”

“I love you too, Mama. You’re the best mom I could ever ask for.” And I do mean that. My mom’s the best. One of my biggest fears is that they’ll be arguing one day and then it’ll be over. I’d have to choose either my dad or my mom, and you know my choice already. I don’t even have to say it. But for those who need an explicit answer, I’ll give it to you. I’d live with my mom, if it ever came down to that. Then again, my dad would relapse and end up dying, so I can’t have that happen. I really don’t want to deal with having my parents split up all because of me. I asked her, “Mama, can I ask you something? I don’t want to sound paranoid or anything, but is there a possibility that you and Dad would get a divorce because of me?”

Mama began to stroke my hair and comfort me. “Ryan, if your father and I were to get a divorce, it wouldn’t be because of you. You’re not the one at fault here. You’re still a child. You didn’t do anything wrong, so why would we divorce because of you?”

I replied bluntly, “Because I’m an emotional and mentally handicapped freak.”

“Ryan, you are not emotionally or mentally handicapped, and you are most certainly not a freak. Where are you getting this from?” she replied shocked.

“Well, I have a lot of things wrong with me. I can’t really function without having a meltdown of some kind.”

Mama said, “Sweetie, just because you’re bipolar, have PTSD, and have anxiety and panic attacks, that doesn’t mean that you’re a freak. You’re a normal sixteen year old boy. Yes, you have to take a lot of medication, but that’s completely out of your control. Your brain has a very extreme chemical imbalance and that’s not your fault. You get that from me, Ryan.” She continued, “I have to take medication too. You know, when you were at the hospital, I had a meltdown or two almost every single day because I was so worried about you. Your father was very worried about you too. Don’t ever think that your father doesn’t care about you because he does. It’s the alcohol that makes him not care. Alcohol makes you act differently. That’s your father’s problem, which has nothing to do with you.”

I replied, “He did say that he started drinking heavily because he couldn’t deal with the fact that I’m gay. So if I was a perfect little straight boy, he wouldn’t be like this.”

“Ryan, listen to me. You weren’t born to be straight, and that’s okay. Don’t you ever feel bad for being who you are.”

My eyes filled with tears yet again. “He doesn’t know why I don’t like girls romantically.”

She insisted, “Yes, he does. He knows exactly why. We just don’t talk about it because we know how much it has traumatized you.” It was because of what happened to me in middle school. A girl who was younger than me was always there bothering me, saying that I look like a hot lesbian and that she wanted to fuck me. She cornered me in the girls’ bathroom once (I was in there because I felt more comfortable in there than in the boys’ bathroom, but I could go into both because of an abnormality in my reproductive system and my parts, if you know what I mean) and tried to have her way with me. I screamed so loudly that a bunch of girls and a few teachers came over to help me cover up and of course, the girl ran off. I can still hear her laughing to this day. Even when I was in middle school, I knew that I didn’t like girls romantically. So basically, I’ve always been gay. My mom said, “You’re great just the way you are. You have a lot of people who love and care about you. Don’t ever forget that.”

The tears stopped and I gave her a soft smile. “Thank you, Mama. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Ry-Ry.”

 

*Some time later…*

 

*Brendon’s POV*

 

I was sitting in my boyfriend’s living room watching whatever was on TV when I heard an argument going on in the kitchen. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m getting worried. I got up to see Ryan in an argument with his dad. I heard George yelling at Ryan over something that I couldn’t quite comprehend. He yelled.

“RYAN, YOU HAVEN’T CHANGED AT ALL SINCE YOU GOT HOME! WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE YOU AND SPENCER OUT OF THAT FUCKING HOSPITAL?!”

Ryan replied sharply, “I’ve only been home for a day and you’re already screaming and yelling at me? That hospital did nothing for me because all those people are only there for one thing, and that’s their paycheck.”

His dad snarled, “You were supposed to get help at that place, Ryan. It wasn’t a place to fuck around with your friends or the boyfriend you have in the living room! And your loony teacher shouldn’t have been there either. I know he was there.” 

His mom decided to intervene. “Leave him alone, George. He got the help he needed over at the hospital. It was torturous enough for him to be there. You yelling at him isn’t going to solve anything.”

George said, “Why don’t you talk to him, Danielle?! He talks to you more than he talks to me!” I heard him say my name. “BRENDON, YOU GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!” I walked into the kitchen to see Ryan about to have a meltdown and I comforted him. Of course, that pissed off his dad. He taunted him. “Look, Ryan, your knight in shining armor has come to save your ass. When are you gonna quit being so fucking pathetic?”

Ryan asked him, “When are you going to quit talking about yourself?” I could see the look in his eyes that said that he was about to beat on Ryan or go straight to me. He smiled. “That’s all you’re doing, Father. You’re talking about yourself because you are pathetic.” George didn’t like to hear that come out of Ryan’s mouth, but I sure did. Ryan added, “I bet that if I have a meltdown right now, you’ll go up to the attic or down to the basement. Why, do you ask? Because you don’t have the tools to deal with me, since I’m a sorry excuse for a son to you.” I let him go and Ryan just opened his arms. “What’re you gonna do, Dad? You gonna hit me? Grab me and put me on the ground? Yell at me while you’re at it?”

Danielle said, “Ryan, please don’t do this.” Spencer came out and was confused as to what was going on. She said to him, “Spencer, don’t get into it. I don’t want you getting hurt.” He noticed what Ryan was doing and he said sharply:

“Ryan! Don’t do it, man. Don’t do it. You’re gonna get hurt. Please don’t resort to this!”

Ryan said to Spencer, “No, Spencer. I’m gonna take care of this.” He went up to his dad and said, “I asked you a question, Dad. I want an answer.” George raised his hand as a threat. Ryan screamed, “HIT ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I DARE YOU!”

I begged him. “Roo, stay back, please.” That’s when I saw George slapping Ryan across the face and pushing him down. I helped Ryan up and asked, “Baby, are you okay?” The look in Ryan’s eyes said everything. I could tell he was about to completely lose it. Spencer got beside him too.

“Dude. Do not do it. Get a hold of yourself,” Spencer said calmly. The growl that was in his throat was bloodcurdling. He’s going to snap. I’m honestly so scared right now. Spencer said, “Ryan, you’re giving him what he wants you to do. Don’t do it.”

George asked, “Not so tough now, are you? Oh, and you’ve even got one of your white knights too.” He shouted, “YOU’RE NOTHING, RYAN! NOTHING! ALL YOU ARE IS AN EMOTIONAL BASKET CASE FAGGOT WHO WON’T GO ANYWHERE IN LIFE!” 

I stepped in. “That’s not true, George. Not true at all. Ryan’s a very smart guy and he’s going farther in life than you ever have!” He said to me:

“Y’know, Brendon, you’re very lucky that I can’t ring your fucking neck.”

Ryan lost his shit when he said that to me. “YOU’RE NOT GONNA RING BRENDON’S NECK! I WON’T LET YOU!”

George threatened Ryan. “Raise your voice at me again, faggot. I dare you. You’re not gonna live to see the light of day if you raise your voice at me again.”

Spencer shouted, “LEAVE RYAN ALONE!”

He growled. “Stay out of this. This has nothing to do with you.” He turned to Danielle and started screaming at her. “DANIELLE, WHY DON’T YOU TEACH THAT LITTLE BRAT ANYTHING?!”

Danielle scoffed. “I teach him more than you do, George. He doesn’t deserve someone screaming and yelling at him whenever he stands up for himself. You know how much that upsets him.” Of course, he walked over to her as if to try to hit her and Ryan had that murderous look in his eyes. She grabbed a wooden spoon and pointed it at him. “You hit me and I’m calling the police. Stay away.” George got closer and closer to Danielle with his fists clenched and his eyes bloodshot. He grabbed her and pushed her against the counter. Ryan lost it right there. He ran over to where his parents were to protect his mom, and tackled his dad, making the most blood-curdling sounds I’ve ever heard in my life. Spencer ran over to take Danielle out of the kitchen so she wouldn’t get hurt and all I could do was watch the scene in horror.

“What the fuck is your problem, boy!?” 

Ryan growled. “You threatened to hurt Brendon and you tried to hurt Mama. I told you what would happen if you tried to hurt her.” He sighed. “I’m not going to hurt you, Dad. I’m trying to protect Mama.”

George breathed in and out heavily. “You had that look in your eyes...you looked like you wanted to kill me.” Ryan literally burst into tears when he realized what he was doing. He said calmly, “Ro, don’t cry. Please. I’m fine.” George reached up to touch Ryan’s cheek. “My poor Ro…I’m so sorry.” Danielle walked over to see what was going on. He said to her, “I’m fine, Danielle. You okay?”

“I’m fine, George,” she said quietly. She helped Ryan up and took him over to the living room to comfort him. She asked him, “Ryan, why did you do that? That scared me. I thought you were going to get hurt.”

Ryan sniffled. “I-I didn’t want Dad to h-hurt you, Mama. I was trying to protect you.”

Danielle nodded. “I know, sweetheart. I know you were trying to protect me, but I’m a lot stronger than you seem to realize, Ryan.” She coddled him and wiped away his tears. Danielle said to George, “George, come here.” He walked over to the living room and sat down beside her, trying his best to comfort Ryan.

“I-I’m so sorry, Dad...I’m so sorry!”

He said, “Ro, there’s nothin’ to apologize for. You did the right thing. You stopped me from striking your mom.”

I asked, “Ummm...are you okay, George? I’m really sorry for the way I acted.”

Danielle shook her head. “Brendon, it’s not your fault. Ryan’s just very protective of me.”

George chuckled. “He sure is. That’s how a son should be.” He pulled Ryan onto his lap. “It’s okay, Ro. I’m not mad at you. Don’t cry anymore tonight.” He said, “I love you very much, Ryan. You’re the only son I’ll ever have.” Ryan gave him a smile and George ruffled up his hair. He smiled. “You look so much like your mom...I know you’ve got a lot of me in you too, Ro.”

I nodded in agreement. “He sure does. You guys must be proud. I know I sure am.” I coddled my boyfriend and he giggled. I said, “You’re so cute! We’re gonna get married, have a band, maybe have some babies, and have a nice house.” I looked at Spencer. “You get to be our slave...just kidding.”

Spencer raised an eyebrow. “I was gonna say that if you were gonna make me your slave, I’d kick your scrawny ass.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault I can’t really build muscle!” I poked at Spencer’s stomach. “Or have a little bit of pudge.” Spencer blushed angrily. I insisted, “I like the pudge though. It’s cute.” I gently tickled his side. “And you’ve got just a sliver of hip exposed.”

He giggled and tried to push me away. “Stop it!” Spencer was in a giggling fit when he said to Ryan, “Ryan, help! Your boyfriend’s tickling me! I can’t breathe…!” Ryan tapped my shoulder.

“Beeb, stop. Spencer can’t breathe,” he said. I stopped tickling Spencer so he could catch his breath. Ryan smiled at me. “You guys are silly. I love you.”

I chuckled. “I love you too, baby.” As long as everything goes smoothly, our summer is going to be kick ass.


	4. Blank

*Brent’s POV*

 

I laid down in my bed, facing the wall and was debating on whether I should go to sleep or stay up. Maybe if I stare at the wall long enough, I’ll get bored of it and fall asleep. My dad knocked on my door. I said quietly, “Come in.” He walked in and closed the door behind him. I looked over and sat up. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, Brent. You feeling okay?” he asked.

I replied, “I’m fine, Dad. Why do you ask?”

He sighed. “Because of what happened with your friends and everything. I know you were completely torn up about it.”

“Spence and Ry just got out of there yesterday, actually,” I said.

He asked, “Really? I wonder why.”

I answered with a sigh, “To make a long story short, it’s because they didn’t give Ryan the proper care he needed. Basically they were being negligent of what his doctor and his parents instructed them to do.” I continued, “According to Spencer, George and Dani are thinking about suing the people who didn’t help Ryan...which is the medication department.” 

My dad’s eyes darkened. “Oh, they didn’t give him his meds?” I shook my head. “That’s terrible. Poor kid shouldn’t have to go through all of what he does at his age. That’s just cruel.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. He goes through a lot and it’s amazing how he manages to handle it all.”

“He’s a tough one, that’s for sure, despite his appearance.”

I blushed. “I know, Ryan looks pretty feminine.” I said, “His mom’s beautiful.”

He agreed, “Oh yeah, she’s something else.” My dad whispered jokingly, “Too bad she’s married to George. I’d take her on a joyride, if you know what I mean.” He laughed. “I’m teasing. I wouldn’t wreck a marriage like that.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Well, I can definitely see pain in her eyes. A lot of it has to do with George and how his drinking affects Ryan.” I continued, “Of course, she’s also worried about Ryan’s health.”

“As a mother should be.”

I smiled. “Mom should take notes from Danielle. She could learn a thing or two about how to care for her kids.”

My dad laughed. “That’s a little harsh, but it’s true.” He said, “Your mother does care about you and Blake very much. She misses you every day...and I know she wants you to go back with her, but I know you’d rather stay with me.”

“Well, that’s because you’re not crazy. Plus I want to be here for Blake. I can’t be here for him if I’m living with Mom.”

He said, “Oh, Blake will be just fine. I know you care about him a lot, Brent, but he’s growing up to be a young man just like you are.” He added, “Besides, he knows that you’re always going to watch over him and be there for him. He’s a lot smarter than you think.” My dad got up and gave me a pat on the back. “Now you get some sleep, Brent.”

I smiled. “I’ll be sure to do that, Dad.” I got up to hug him. “Night, Dad. I love you.” He hugged me back and then walked out of my room, closing the door behind him. I sure hope everything’s okay at Ryan’s house because I’ve been worrying about him and Spencer for over a month. My phone decided to go off and I went over to unlock it. I thought, Well, speak of the devil. It was a text message from Spencer. I knew he’d be texting me, to be honest. I read the text and it said:

Hey, Brent. Didn’t mean to bother you at this time of night, but can we talk?

I texted back.

Hey, Spence. You didn’t bother me. I was just thinking about you. What is it that you need to talk to me about?

I waited for him to text back and twiddled my thumbs. I sure hope that it’s nothing bad. I finally got a response and it was very short and vague.

It’s Ryan.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

What’s going on with him? Is he okay?

No, Brent. He’s not. I’m really worried about him.

Spencer, you’re really confusing me. What’s going on?

Well, Brent...his dad started screaming at him over something. Brendon said that it was about how Ryan “hasn’t changed”. I was up in Ryan’s room, so I didn’t really know what was going on. All I know was that there was a screaming match between Ryan and his dad. I went downstairs and Danielle told me to not get into it because Ryan was all like “YOU WANNA HIT ME, DAD? FUCKING HIT ME!” and shit. Yeah, he did hurt Ryan, but not to the point where he had to go to the hospital or anything like that. When his dad was getting real close to hitting his mom, Ryan LOST IT and tackled him. Of course he felt bad afterwards, but he was just protecting her. Long story short...don’t fuck with Ryan’s mom.

I looked at his response and texted back.

Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the phone. What? Ryan legit TACKLED his dad?

Yeah, because George was gonna hurt Danielle and Ryan wasn’t gonna have his mom get hurt. So Ryan’s reaction was appropriate, technically.

Spence, I know that Ryan loves his mom and all, but tackling his dad is going a little too far.

Well, what’re the police gonna do? Ryan suffers from multiple disorders. They can’t hold that against him. You KNOW that.

I know, but still. So I guess the moral to this story is to not fuck with his mom or else he’ll kill you?

I don’t know if he’d KILL someone if they were to hurt Dani in any way, but he’d cause bodily harm, that’s for sure. This one time, I was with Dani and Ryan at the store or something. I don’t remember where it was. This guy was all looking at her...like, checking her out and shit. You should’ve seen how Ryan reacted when that guy was doing that. He was all like “QUIT LOOKING AT MY MOM WITH GOO GOO EYES, YOU CREEP!” The guy told Ryan that his mom was a MILF and he LOST IT. He was lucky I was there holding him back.

I smiled at the text and started chuckling softly.

Dude, that’s hilarious. But seriously...that guy’s not wrong about Danielle though. Ryan should take that as a compliment. His mom’s hot. I’d like to make some babies with her. Wink wink.

Brent, you KNOW how he is when it comes to his mom. He’s VERY protective of her. You know, if you said something about how much you’d want to fuck his mom and he’s in the room, you don’t even want to know what he’d do. I wouldn’t bring that up to her, if I were you. You can talk to me about that all day long ‘cause I don’t care, but whatever you do….DO NOT tell her what you told me, or bring it up to Ryan because he’d literally come off his rocker.

I was kidding, Spence. I do think Danielle’s absolutely gorgeous, but jeez. How’s Brendon doing, speaking of him? Did he hear anything from his parents or no?

I know you were lol. But yeah, Dani’s hot. Brendon’s fine. He’s just comforting Ry right now. As far as his parents go...if I knew, I’d tell you. I don’t know, honestly. I’m sure if you asked him, he’d tell you. He hasn’t said anything to me about it.

Gotcha. I guess it’s still a pretty sensitive subject for him right now.

It’s not that, Brent. He just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He’s pissed off at them still because what they did was illegal, but what can you do? I sure can’t just go up to his parents and confront them as much as I want to.

Spence, you’re literally one of the only people I know who will confront someone and call them out on their bullshit. Wonder why you’re backing down now.

It’s because of what happened while we were in school...that thing I told you about. And how my dad had to go to jail all because I said something.

You did the right thing by saying something. If you didn’t say anything, who knows what would’ve happened? I didn’t want to tell the police that Blake and I were being abused by Rob, but you know what? I swallowed my fear and TOLD THEM. You didn’t do anything wrong. Trust me. If I was in your position, I would’ve told them a LONG time ago, despite how scared I was.

You’re right, Brent. I couldn’t just stand by and wait for them to get hurt. I know my sisters miss me, but I have to stay with Ryan.

Oh, did your mom say you had to stay with him all summer or just for a few weeks?

She didn’t say. I guess it’s because she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to me, so she said I had to be here with Ryan until everything’s cool at my house.

That’s understandable. I’ll swing by tomorrow so we can all hang out. I was about to type in I’ll swing by tomorrow so we can hang out...just the two of us, but I decided against it because it sounded weird. I typed out, I’m gonna get some sleep. Night, Spence.

Spencer typed out, Okay. See ya tomorrow. I turned my phone off for the night, turned off my lights and fell asleep. While I was sleeping, I had a really strange dream. Of course, it was one about Spencer again. I don’t know why I have a crush on him. Maybe it’s because of that toughness he has along with his softness. It’s a little weird to me that I have a crush on one of my friends and I know he has a crush on me too. I just don’t know how to tell him and I don’t want to wreck our friendship. That’d be the stupidest thing to do. 

 

*The next morning.*

 

*Danielle’s POV*

 

I sat in my place at the dining table with a cup of tea and a light breakfast of some toast with jam. I looked over to see Ryan’s friend Spencer coming down with Brendon. I greeted them, “Good morning, boys.”

Brendon said, “Morning, Danielle.” He asked me, “Did you hear anything from my parents or no?” I was just about to ask him that, but I guess he beat me to it. I shook my head.

“If I did, I’d tell you. I haven’t heard anything from your parents,” I said.

Spencer asked, “What about my mom?”

I sighed. “Spencer...your mom doesn’t want you there right now. She specifically told me that you need to stay here until everything is settled at your house.” 

“Why’s that, Dani?”

I explained to him, “Your dad isn’t too happy with you right now because of what happened a few months back.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “He’s really good at holdin’ grudges, Dani. You know that.”

“I know that, Spencer,” I replied. “Listen. You did nothing wrong. You told someone what was going on. You’re not bad for doing what you know is right.” I continued, “Don’t ever be scared to tell someone about what’s going on in your life, or in anyone else’s like Ryan’s or Brendon’s...even Brent’s. Do you understand?” He nodded. I said, “Good. You’re a smart kid.”

He said, “I do understand what you’re saying, Dani, but I don’t know how long I’m supposed to stay here.”

I replied, “She never told me. She was very vague about it. Ginger told me about this while you and Ryan were in the hospital.” I held his hands and added, “Your mom just wants you to be safe, sweetie. It’s not that she doesn’t love you. She wants you to stay here until your dad can cool his jets.” 

Brendon asked Spencer, “How come Ryan can’t go over to your house, Spence?”

Spencer answered, “The answer’s pretty obvious. All the stuff with my dad scares the fuck out of him.” 

I narrowed my eyes and muttered, “Not to mention he said a lot of hurtful things about my son.”

“Yeah, I know. He’s said a bunch of shit about Brent too.” 

I know things aren’t good right now, but hopefully everything will be just fine and everyone can just get along. Or at least try to. A few hours passed and Ryan still hasn’t come downstairs. I hope everything’s all right with him. I went upstairs to his room and politely knocked on his door. “Ryan, sweetie, are you okay in there?”

He responded with, “Everything’s fine, Mama. I’m just really sleepy.” He’s probably trying to sleep a little bit more to make up for the sleep he lost. It’s nothing really to be concerned about. 

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

I don’t feel like getting out of bed right now. I really don’t. I’m too tired...too comfortable. It still feels so good to be back in my own bed instead of a hospital bed with plastic sheets. At least Pierre and Nick were there to distract me. If I told anyone about what Nick and I did, I’d literally be called a slut and be on the same level as Ari. I know that one of my close friends won’t tell anyone...and she hasn’t told anyone about what happened between Aiden and me. I texted her something, saying hi to her. She replied with this:

Oh, hey, Ry! How are you?

I texted her back, I’m doing a lot better. Finally got out of that hospital the other day. After that, we had a full-on conversation.

That’s so great. I’m really happy for you, Ryan.

Thanks, K...say, umm...can I talk to you about something?

Sure. What is it?

I thought about what I was going to say. I typed out, Okay, this is gonna sound INSANE. Before I tell you what it is, can you promise NOT to tell ANYONE about it? I don’t even want Spence to know.

You know you can talk to me about anything and I won’t say a word about it to anyone. What’s up?

I sighed and texted, You know Nick, the band teacher, right? Well, when I was at the hospital, he came by and we were REALLY close to having sex. We made out and touched each other a bit, but we didn’t take each other’s clothes off or anything like that.

Hold the phone. What? That sounds really steamy.

I know, and I feel TERRIBLE for doing it. I missed Brendon and I needed someone to distract me from being at the hospital. Truth be told, it felt really good.

I don’t blame you for missing Brendon, Roo. I really don’t. As a matter of fact, I understand. It was literally hell for you at the hospital, and to be honest, I’m not really surprised that this happened. It’s obvious that you and Nick are super close. Even if Brendon were to find out, do you think he’d really care? It’s not like you were asking Nick to fuck you against the wall or anything like that. I guess she’s right. I’m kind of overreacting and being paranoid. I know she’s not going to tell anyone, so I have nothing to worry about. Yes, what Nick did to me felt amazing, but I still feel like I’ve betrayed my boyfriend. Sure Brendon knows that he’s a very close family friend and we couldn’t see each other really, but this makes me feel like a fucking slut. If I did this with Aiden, it’d be even worse because he’s not only my teacher, he’s my boss too. I can imagine that Nick feels like he betrayed Aiden too, but I know Aiden better than that. He thinks I’m cute too, so he wouldn’t give a shit. He’d be a little jealous, but that’s pretty much it. I can still feel his soft hands rubbing in between my thighs and making me tingle from thinking about it. KK texted, Don’t worry. You’re not the only one who feels a certain way about your teachers. I can guarantee that Ariana’s probably had the hots for a few teachers too. And speaking of her, she’s actually JEALOUS of the fact that you have Slavic and Steele wrapped around your finger.

I texted back, Obviously, because she’s a skimpy slutty wet noodle and I’m fucking classy. Ariana WISHES she had my hips and this ass.

Hahaha, that’s so true! Plus, we both already know that Nick’s gay and Aiden’s bi. They wouldn’t want her anyway. But I know they like YOU.

Honestly...I wouldn’t mind having a threeway with them. They make me so wet lol.

A little TMI there, Roo...but I totally get it. They’re both fucking cute, so I see why they make you wet.

The thing is that Brendon makes me wet too. That’s the problem.

Ryan, this is completely normal for a guy your age to feel like this. You’re not the only one who gets these feelings. You’re really not. Hell, I think Autumn’s cute, but she’s probably straight. Dammit.

Well...speaking of Autumn...she’s NOT straight. AT ALL. She’s into GIRLS...and ONLY girls. Autumn’s lesbian, but it’s not obvious. You know what I mean? No, I’m not trying to generalize and stereotype lesbians. I have no problem with them. I added, I think she’s single, from what I remember...so if you want, you can have a go for her lol. She’d probably like you. I heard my mom calling for me, so I sent, I think my mom needs me for something. I’ll talk to you later. I left it at that and went downstairs.

 

 

*Brendon’s POV*

 

 

“Hey there, babe. Nice to see you finally got out of bed,” I said to Ryan as he came down the stairs. I gave him a tight hug. “Did you sleep good, babe?”

He nodded. “A lot better than I usually do.” Ryan went over to his mom and kissed her cheek. “Mornin’, Mama.”

She replied, “Morning, Ry-Ry.” Danielle pinched Ryan’s cheeks and kissed his forehead. “Nice to see you in a good mood today.”

“Where’s Dad at, Mama?”

“Your father’s at work, sweetie,” she said. “He said that he loves you very much and he’ll be home later tonight.” Ryan rested his head in Spencer’s lap and he started tickling him, making him giggle. Danielle laughed. “Aaaww, that’s adorable.”

Spencer started laughing. “It’s really funny because of how ticklish he is.” He pinched Ryan’s hip a bit and said, “Squish-squish.”

“Yes, I know I have some squish-squish. You’ve got squish-squish too,” Ryan said with a giggle. It’s great to see Ryan so happy. I guess that place really helped him some. No, scratch that. I think he’s just happy because he’s finally home and he gets to be in my arms again. That had to have been rough for him like it was for me. I really missed him. Of course I missed Spencer too, but I missed Ryan the most because he’s my boyfriend. He hugged Spencer and said, “I love you, buddy.”

He hugged him back. “Love ya too, Ryro.” I pouted playfully and Spencer took note of that. He said, “Oh, B, get over here. Don’t pout.” I lifted up Ryan’s legs and slid underneath him so he could be sitting in my lap. Spencer smirked. “Don’t be gettin’ all grabby with him right this second, Brendon. Save that sappy shit for later.”

I scoffed and laughed. “Says the one who has a high-key crush on Brent!” Spencer’s face was as red as lobster when I said that. He knows it’s true. He can’t deny it now. I already know because I see how they act together.

Spencer replied in embarrassment, “Brendon, it’s not like that!” 

Ryan joined in on it. “Oh, come on, Spence. It’s okay to admit you have a crush on him.” He continued, “I know you’ve got a crush on me too. Don’t deny that either.” 

“R-Ryan, it’s really not like that at all. Brent and I are just really close is all...not as close as you and me though,” he responded with a laugh. Spencer added, “Like, you’re the only person who’s seen me with nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist.” I’d honestly pay to see that. Just kidding. I’d pay to see Ryan with nothing but a towel wrapped around him.

I said to Ryan, “Babe, you’re lucky.”

“Brennie, Spencer and I have known each other since we were five and six, so it’s not surprising,” he said. “Besides, we don’t care about the homo...because we’re all about the homo.”

Spencer laughed. “All the homo.” He added, “We share beds, clothes...well, we used to when we were little, even bathrooms. We don’t care.”

“I’m kinda jealous.”

“Well, Brendon, you’re dating my best friend. That’s somethin’ to be proud of.”

I replied, “That’s true.” I patted Ryan’s head. “But I’d never get in between your friendship.”

Spencer said, “Dude. You want to marry him. I don’t think you’re gonna get in between our friendship, Beeb.” I noticed some sort of mysterious vibe coming off of Ryan...a secretive one. I’m a little suspicious, but I’m not going to ask him about it. He probably doesn’t want to talk about it. Ryan’s probably too afraid to tell me. Of course Spencer was the first to jump on it and ask, “Ryan, are you feeling okay? You don’t really seem to be talking much. Is something bothering you?”

Ryan sighed. “A little bit, to be honest. I can’t really say. It’s personal...and not something you bring up out of the blue.”

I asked, “Are you getting that thing or is it something else?”

“It’s something else. I don’t really want to talk about it. You’ll get mad.”

Spencer stroked his hair. “Oh, c’mon, Ryan. It can’t be that bad.” I looked over and saw that Danielle left. Probably to go to the store or something. He coaxed Ryan, “It’s okay. Tell us. We’re not gonna get mad.”

Ryan gulped and said, “When we were at the hospital...I was extremely upset and felt like something was torn out of my chest. It was me realizing that I wasn’t going to be held by Brendon for a while, let alone see him. I asked Pierre if he could let Nick in my room because I needed him more than anybody.” I was obviously confused as to what he was talking about. He continued, turning to me, “Brendon...I did some things with Nick. Nothing too extreme.”

I kissed his forehead. “Baby, if you and Nick kissed or something, I completely understand. Just as long as he didn’t try to have his way with you.”

“Oh no, he would never. He’s with Aiden. If it was Aiden who was there instead of Nick...it would’ve been a lot worse, considering the fact that he’s my boss as well as my teacher.”

I sighed in relief. “Good. Nick’s a great guy. I know that he would never disrespect you like that.”

Ryan replied, blushing, “Truth be told...I got a little umm...you know, down there.”

Spencer blushed wildly. “It’s a little too early to be hearing about you getting wet from our teacher.” He added, “But I totally get it. I get a little hot and bothered by that man myself.” He bit his lip gently. “He’s got such a nice ass. Fuck, your history teacher’s lucky to have a piece of that cake every night.” 

He giggled. “Oh, Aiden takes Nick on a joy ride. He has quite the package...I would know. I sit close enough to see it.”

I said, “I bet he does, Ry.” I whispered in his ear, “But I make you wetter...don’t I?” He nodded. “Good.” I trailed a hand up his thigh and rested it there. “Since your mom’s out, why don’t we take this up to your room, babe?”

Spencer said jokingly, “Only if I can watch.” 

“Spence, no. You don’t get to watch. Besides, we’re not even gonna do anything that extreme.” I got interrupted by Brent coming in the house. I laughed nervously and said, “Hey, Brent. How’s it goin’, buddy?”

Brent shrugged. “Okay, I guess. Couldn’t really sleep last night, but whatever.” He sat down on the couch with us. “Well, it seems like you guys are having a good time out here in the living room.” Brent looked around for Danielle, but she wasn’t here. He asked Ryan, “Hey, Ry, where’s your mom?”

Ryan replied, “My mom’s out for a little while. She had to go run some errands. My dad’s at work...so we can basically do whatever here.” I noticed Brent whispering something to Spencer and they were snickering. Ryan asked, “I’m sorry, what was that? What did you say?” I held him close and said gently:

“Now, sweetheart, you don’t need to stress yourself out to the point where you drop your cookies again or have a panic attack. It’s for the best that you ignore it.”

He insisted, “No, I want to hear what Brent was saying to Spencer.” 

Brent threw his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay! You got me. I was talking to Spencer about your mom.” Ryan tilted his head as if to say that he wants Brent to be more specific. He continued, “Well...I really adore your mom, Ryan. I think she’s an amazing, strong, gorgeous woman.”

Ryan narrowed his eyes in slight anger. “What’re you getting at, Brent?” 

“W-Well, Ry, I have some...complicated feelings for her.”

“Cut to the chase, Brent!”

Spencer jumped in and said, “Ryan, he wants to do things with your mom. That’s what he’s trying to say.”

My boyfriend breathed in sharply and asked with gritted teeth, “What kind of things?” He balled up his fists. “If he’s wanting to fuck my mom, he better keep his fucking hands off of her!”

Brent sighed. “I have thought about that before, Ryan, but I know how you feel about people speaking of your mother vulgarly, so I don’t talk about it. It’s not like I would anyway. Imagine what your dad would do to me. He’d fucking kill me if I did something like that to your mom.” He continued, “What I’m trying to say is that I have a lot of thoughts and sick fantasies, but I would never act on them. That’s wrong.”

Spencer added, “Yeah. Brent’s not like that. You know that better than most people, Ryan.” He continued with, “Ryan, I’m just gonna put this as bluntly as possible. You are way overprotective of your mom. Your mom’s a grown woman. She can look out for herself. You’ve got to realize that.”

Ryan said in a slightly defensive tone, “I know that, Spencer. I’m that way with her because of all those times my dad tried to hit her and I can’t bear to see my own mother be hurt like that. So I’ve always protected her.”

I said, “But baby, you have to understand that your dad’s not going to hit your mom. He wouldn’t do that to you. He knows how much you love her.”

“Well, she’s my mom! Why wouldn’t I love her?”

Brent jumped in. “Ryan, go live with my mom for a week and you’ll see why I don’t fucking like her. To be honest, I want a mom like yours.” He added, “Maybe a reason why you wouldn’t love her is if she was doing drugs, letting a bunch of guys go to town on her, basically throwing her life away. Think about that before saying stupid shit about how you’ll always love your mom.”

Ryan got very defensive. “Brent, I have been over at your mother’s house! How could you think that I don’t know what your mom is like?! She’s being brainwashed by multiple men, she doesn’t give two fucks about you or your brother, and she’s an overall psychopath. Oh, speaking of your mom’s boyfriends, how’s her new one treating her? Bet that’s gonna last a long time...not!” He said, “I didn’t mean to sound rude. Your mother doesn’t treat you or your brother very well and she doesn’t respect what your father tells her. I can’t respect her.”

“Dude, I’m not offended at all! What you said is true,” he said with a laugh. “But the thing is that she’s changed a lot the past few months. Not completely, but she’s changed. She’s not with Robert anymore, which is great. She respects the fact that I want to stay with my dad and Blake...she doesn’t call me like three times a day begging me to go back to her place anymore. She’s not a bad person, Ryan. I know you know that. She cares about you, Brendon and Spence immensely. If my mom calls, she’ll ask me how you guys are doing and stuff like that.”

“Well, that’s great.” Ryan smiled. He muttered under his breath, “Don’t even get me started on my boyfriend’s parents. I’m still mad at them for what they did to my sweet Brennie.” Ryan began to nuzzle into my shoulder. “But I’m so happy you’re out of there. I couldn’t stand not being able to see you much after school and stuff...or to cuddle.”

I laughed. “Roo, we can cuddle all you want!” I whispered in his ear, “I was getting tired of having to sneak out while everyone in my house was dead asleep just to see you.”

Ryan said, “You don’t have to do that anymore, Beeb. Now I’m only just a couple doors down from you...so we can cuddle anytime we want.” It’s great that we can do things that we normally wouldn’t be able to do when I was still living with my parents. Hell, they’d have our guts for garters if they caught us doing some of the things we do. Even if we did get caught by them, it wouldn’t make us stop. The door opened and Ryan jumped up to help his mom. He got all the heavy stuff inside, put a few things in the pantry, placed some things in the fridge and put things in the freezer...without any help from us. I looked at him, my jaw dropped and my eyes wide.

“Oh my god, babe. I’m surprised you didn’t need any of us to help you.”

He nodded, panting gently. “Brendon, hun, if I can pick up Spence and carry him upstairs, I can handle heavy groceries.”

Spencer chuckled. “Hey now, Ry, it’s not my fault I have a little more than meat on my bones.” Danielle finally came in, set her things on the table, and sat down in one of the chairs. Spencer walked over there and said, “Hi, Dani.” Brent followed him over and waved at her.

“H-Hey, Mrs. Ross.”

Danielle looked up and said sweetly, “Hi there, boys.” She gave Ryan’s head a pat. “Thank you for helping me with the groceries, sweet boy.”

Ryan kissed his mom on the cheek. “It’s no problem, Mama. I love you.”

“Mommy loves you too, Ry-Ry.” Danielle looked over to where I was and she asked me, “Brendon, could you come in here, please?” I walked into the dining room and sat down across from her. She said, “I finally got a chance to talk to your parents while I was out.”

I asked shocked, “Really? What’d they say?”

Danielle replied, “Well, your mom asked how you and Ryan were doing. Your dad didn’t say too much to me, except asking if you finally accepted God into your life. I told him that what he’s trying to do is wrong and you’re old enough to make your own decisions. Of course your mother wasn’t too happy when I said that. We almost had a scratch, but she knows that I could knock her lights out, so she backed off.”

I sighed. “I knew my dad would ask that. I just want to have a different life than them is all. I don’t want to be religious because I don’t believe in it at all. I want to marry your son, Danielle, because he makes me so happy. He’s shown me things that I wouldn’t be able to get from my parents. Ryan’s so wise for his age and I’m grateful for that.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know,” she said. She added, “Just so you know, Brendon, I’m keepin’ ya.”

Ryan added, “And if your parents have a problem with that, they can kiss my ass.” 

“Babe, that’s my ass to kiss. They can kiss mine instead.” My parents may have won the battle, but I won the war.


	5. Temptations and Doubt

*Ryan’s POV*

 

While I was out with Brendon and our friends, I ran into Aiden and Nick at the smoothie joint we go to at least once a week. It was great to see them, but I didn’t expect them to come to a place like this. I was sipping the blueberry pomegranate smoothie I bought, savoring the taste. Spencer got my attention with:

“Hey, Ryan. Your boyfriends are here. Better go say hi to them.”

I blushed profusely at his comment, but went over to where Aiden and Nick were to say hi to them. I tried playing it cool when I said, “Hi, Aiden. Hi, Nick.” Nick squealed, got up, wrapped his arms around me tightly and gave me endless kisses all over my face. I giggled. “Nick! Stop! You’re embarrassing me!”

Nick held my face in his hands and I got a better look at his pretty blue-green eyes. He said quietly, “Ryan, you have no idea how happy I am to see you out of that hospital. I was worried sick about you!” He added, “Aiden was worried about you too, sweet thing.” 

I smiled. “I know Aiden was worried about me, Nick. It was too bad I couldn’t see him.”

Aiden sat me down next to them. “Ryan, I couldn’t because I had a lot of work to do at the school. I really wanted to go see you.” His green eyes went dark as he said, “But I didn’t think I could bear to see you in the state you were in. It would’ve crushed me.” 

I whispered, “I understand. I really do. I wouldn’t want you to see me like that anyway, D--Aiden.” I almost called him “Daddy”, but I knew it’d be really weird, so I didn’t. Spencer came over to see me with them. I said to them, “Spencer’s out too.” Of course, Nick did the same with Spencer that he did with me. I laughed at how dorky Nick was being. “Nick, you’re so silly!”

Spencer laughed nervously. “It’s great to see you too, Nick.”

I said to Spencer, “He’s really happy to see us, Spence.” I poked Nick’s shoulder. “Nick, I think it’s time for you to let go of Spence. He needs to breathe.” Okay, it’s honestly a little weird how Nick and I are eight years apart...and I see him as the big brother I never had. I turned to Aiden and giggled. “You should see one of the nurses at the hospital. He’s like the lovechild of you and Nick.”

Aiden asked interested, “Oh, really? What’s his name? I think I might know him.”

I replied slightly lovestruck, “Pierre. Oh my god, he’s cute.”

“I think I’ve seen him before. He used to talk with Nick all the time when he first began teaching.”

I asked him quietly, “How long have you and Nick been dating?”

He smirked. “Quite some time, Ryan. Quite some time. He’s quite the lovebug.”

“He sure is a lovebug,” I said with a smile. Nick motioned me to come with him. I wonder what he wants to talk to me about in private. I saw that he took me into the bathroom. I asked him, “Nick, what’s going on?” I bet he feels guilty about what we did when I was in the hospital because I knew he had Aiden, and he knew I had Brendon.

Nick sighed. “Ryan, I feel extremely guilty about what happened while you were at the hospital. I know you needed me more than anybody...and you were feeling lonely.”

I said, “What? Nick, don’t feel guilty. You were just trying to help.”

“Roo, you don’t understand. I could get in a lot of trouble for doing the things I did with you,” he replied quietly. He added, “You’re my student and the little brother I wish I had. You’re not my sex toy. You’re a teenager. If your mother found out about what I did to you, she’d kill me. And you don’t even want to know what your father would do if he found out.”

I reassured him, “I didn’t tell them about what happened between us. They don’t even have a clue.”

Nick sighed and held my face in his hands. “Ryan, I wanted to have sex with you. I know you wanted it too. That’s not how a teacher should think about one of their students. That’s not how I should think about you.”

“Please, Nick, I understand. It’s okay. If it makes you feel any better, I have those kinds of feelings for Aiden as well as for you.”

He smiled lightly. “Well, I guess that makes me feel a little better. I already knew you had a crush on my boyfriend.” Nick giggled and asked me, “I’m curious. What drew you to him exactly?” I blushed and laughed. “C’mon, you can tell me. This is only going to be between us.”

I trailed a little, “Well...it’s his eyes...his smile...his voice…” Nick just smirked and snickered. I asked, “What? Why are you laughing?” He replied with:

“I know there’s something else there that you like about him. That’s why you can’t really focus that much in his class sometimes.”

I blushed wildly. “You got me. I know he has quite the package...and it’s kind of difficult to take my eyes off of it.”

Nick nodded in agreement. “He sure does. You know, I’ve seen it.” He whispered in my ear, “It’s huge. Aiden said that it complements my behind. He is hung.”

“A little too much info there, Nick, but I understand.” I touched his hand and held onto it. “Say, umm...how about we go back out to Aiden and the others? I don’t want to make him angry.”

He said quietly, “Aiden’s not going to get mad. Don’t worry. I have something to tell you about Aiden, and I would highly advise not telling a single soul about what I’m going to tell you.” I nodded as if to say I understand. Nick continued, “Now...Aiden has said some pretty explicit things about you, to put it politely. He gets a thrill off of you squirming in your chair...he said he’d like to know if your ass is as soft as it looks. Aiden has also told me that he knows you pulse and throb every time you see him...he’s even said that he wants to see what you look like underneath your clothes.” He whispered, “In other words, he wants to fuck you and have you call him ‘Daddy’ because he knows you have daddy issues.”

I replied, “It’s not really surprising, to be completely honest with you. That does sound like what Aiden would say.” He’s not one to lie, that’s for sure.

“You may think it’s completely normal for him to say, but to me, it’s not,” Nick said. He added, “He’s never spoken about any of his students like that, current or former. You are the only one. And you know for a fact he’d never speak about someone like Ari the way he does about you.”

I replied slyly, “Well, that’s because he doesn’t want a slut like her.”

He sighed. “It’s not just that, Ryan. He wants you because he wants to make everything bad that’s going on in your life go away. He feels sorry for you. Aiden isn’t a bad man. He has never committed a crime of any sort.” Nick got down to my level and kissed my forehead. “Ryan, Aiden wants to make things right. He wants to treat you like your father should have. Nothing sexual about it.”

“But you said that he wants to fuck me and have me call him ‘Daddy’. I’m confused.”

Nick said, “He does, sure, but he also wants to treat you the way a father should. It’s a little confusing, but he loves you dearly.” He added, “If I could take you away from there and have you live with Aiden and me, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I don’t know if you’d be able to handle how bad my condition is.”

“Nick, you know that there’s not a lot I haven’t seen.”

“Yes, Ryan, I know, but I don’t want you to see how I get every single day. It would upset you and you know that as well as I do.”

I said, “I’ve seen how my mother gets. You’re not any different.” I comforted him. “Please trust me, Nick. I understand how painful being in this condition is.”

He sighed. “Please understand that I don’t want you to see how I get. I love you dearly, Ryan, but there are things that I’d rather keep you from seeing, and my condition is one of them.” Nick took me back out to where Aiden was. “There are things that I only allow Aiden to see, sweetheart.” He kissed Aiden on his cheek and said, “Hi, Aiden.”

Aiden winked at Nick and responded with, “What’s going on, my cute little strawberry?”

“Oh, I was just talking to Ryan about a few things. Nothing too serious,” Nick said as he sat back down. “Love you.”

“Such a lovebug. I love you too.” Aiden held Nick’s hand and kissed the top of it. He turned to me and asked, “Say, Ryan, would your mother be okay if we were to have dinner at your house?” I thought, Dinner...I can’t believe this! Aiden asked me if he could have dinner at my house! Oh, this should be fun.

I said, “I don’t think she’d mind. I’ll ask her to make sure though.” I took out my phone to call my mom. “Hey, Mama. My boss and Nick wanted to know if it was okay for them to come over for dinner?” I listened to my mom’s response and nodded. “Okay. I’ll let them know. Love you, Mama.” I heard her response and we both hung up. I told them, “She said you’re more than welcome to come over and you can bring some food if you want.”

Aiden chuckled. “Well, I’m not much of a cook myself, but my sweet little Carrot Top is.” I saw Nick’s face turn as red as his hair in embarrassment. He said to me, “That’s one of my nicknames for him. He doesn’t like it too much when I call him that in public, but it’s so fascinating to see how red his face can get.” 

“That’s really cute, Aiden. You guys are so cute together.”

He replied, “As cute as he is.” Aiden’s green eyes lit up as he gently chewed on his bottom lip, admiring Nick. “My god, he has such a nice ass.” My face flushed warmly from him commenting on my teacher’s looks from behind. Aiden smirked at me and patted my back. “No need to be all flustered. I know you’ve heard some people talk about my sweetheart like that before...just like they do with you.” He added, “Oh yeah. I’ve heard all of it. You’re quite the beauty.”

I said flustered, “Th-Thank you. You’re so handsome...black-brown hair and emerald green eyes are a killer combination.”

“Why thank you, my dear.”

I’m still honestly in shock because I’ve never heard my history teacher, who’s also my boss, talk about me like that...well, in my presence, that is. At the same time, I’m flattered by it too. It’s a little strange, but he’s an honest man and I respect that. I know what you’re thinking. I’m gross for allowing him to think like that about me. Frankly, I don’t care. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Now if it’s my mom they’re talking about, that’s a different story. I looked back at Brendon with worry written all over my face. I can’t hide that from him. Even underneath this happy-go-lucky front I’m trying my hardest to put up, I can’t hide the fact that I’m worried he’ll leave me because of the way Aiden talks about me. I said discretely, “Aiden, I have to get back to my friends.”

Aiden nodded as if to say he understands. “Okay, Ryan. I’ll let you get back to them.” His eyes darkened as he added, “Can’t wait to see you later tonight.” I blushed at his response and walked back over to where Brendon was. He seemed to not have a clue about what happened, which is a good thing because I really don’t want him worrying. Brent noticed something was up with me because of the closed off vibes I was giving them. He asked me:

“Ry, what’s going on? You feeling okay?”

Fuck, I need to make up something...and fast. I can’t tell him what’s really going on. I know that if I lie to him, he’ll find out. I decided to swallow my pride and tell him anyway. Well, only vaguely. I said, “I’m okay...just a little anxious about tonight. That’s all.”

Brent laughed. “Why, is your hot history teacher gonna be there?” I nodded, blushing profusely. He added, “Oh. He’s seriously gonna come over to your house?”

“Yes. He’s bringing Nick too,” I replied. Brent’s only reaction was shock. I continued, “Aiden and Nick are together. You didn’t know that?”

“Actually, no, I didn’t. Who told you?”

I answered, “Nick told me, of course. They’ve been together for years.” I took a sip of my smoothie. “They’re actually considering getting married.”

Brent gushed, “That’s great! I’m happy for them. Wish I knew about this earlier.” Yeah, it’s not unusual for him to be the last to know about things. It’s probably irritating to him. He asked me, “Do you know if Spence has a girlfriend or not?”

I shrugged. “I know he’s been dating Jamie for a little while. Why do you ask?” I got close to him and whispered, “You like him, don’t you? Like, really like him.” He nodded and tried to hide his embarrassment. I said, “It’s okay to admit it, Brent. It’s not like we haven’t noticed how you two act together.” 

“I-It’s not like that though. I just feel like we can just talk about anything and not make a fuss over it.”

I just smirked at him and kissed Brendon on his cheek. “Brent, you know that all of us can talk to each other about anything.”

He muttered, “Well, that’s a bit rich coming from someone who hides the fact that our band teacher and their history teacher get them all hot and bothered.” Brent added, “But that’s none of my business. You do you, Ry.” I furrowed my brow in annoyance. “What? It’s true. You hide a lot of shit.”

“What, so I should tell you guys all the nitty gritty details about everything that goes on?”

“Umm, I didn’t mean it like that, but if that’s how you’re taking it, fine. All I said was that you don’t spill a lot about what goes on, especially when it comes to you and your boss.”

I hissed, “What I do with my boss is none of your business!”

Brendon stepped in and said, “Come on, Brent. Don’t interrogate my baby, ‘kay?”

“Don’t you even care about what he does with his fucking boss or what he says about your boyfriend?!”

My boyfriend sighed. “Brent, whatever Ryan does with his boss is between the two of them. Besides, it’s not like he’s doing anything to hurt him. And about what he says about Ryan, his boss says a lot of good things about him. Nothing extreme or inappropriate.”

Brent said lowly, “Brendon, you don’t know Mr. Steele very well, do you? He’s said some pretty interesting things about Ryan...about his physical appearance, to be specific.”

I jumped in. “So what?! I’ve heard you telling Trevor about how you go nuts every time I wear my lounge shorts! How does that make you any better than Aiden? Sure he may make some comments about my physical appearance, but at least he’s honest about it.” I huffed. “You want dirt on me? I actually can’t fucking focus in history class sometimes because of his package. Get where I’m going with that? My underwear gets very wet in that class.”

“Whoa! Whoa! That was something I didn’t need to hear.”

I smiled. “You totally needed to know that I get wet in Aiden’s class. You said to spill more details...so I did.” I asked, “Maybe you’d like to know about something else?” Brent shook his head in defeat. “Good.” I saw Spencer walking back from the bathroom and I said, “Hey, Spence.”

“Hey, Ryro.” Spencer took a seat next to Brent, who was flustered to no end. He asked, “What’d I miss?”

Brendon said, “Oh, just some info that didn’t need to be shared was spilled. That’s all.”

Spencer laughed. “Oh my god! Did Ryan tell Brent about what happens to him in Mr. Steele’s?” I nodded proudly. He said to me, “Dude, you got him good. Now he probably won’t be able to keep his mind off of the thought of you getting all hot and bothered over Steele.”

Brent looked at Spencer and said, “Spence, Steele has said some disgusting things about Ryan! Aren’t you concerned about that?” He sighed and turned to Brendon. “Back me up here! You should be concerned about it too!” Spencer thought of a witty response. He replied:

“Sweetheart, you’re not any better than Mr. Steele.”

He asked, “How so?”

Spencer explained, “Well, Brent, you’ve said some pretty nasty things about a certain someone too. Even went as far as to say nasty shit about his mother.” He continued, “That’s pretty hypocritical of you.”

I gulped. “Guys, please don’t fight. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“Ryan, it’s not your fault. Brent’s being a fucking dumbass,” he said. “Before you ask what he’s said, Ry, I’m not gonna say anything specific out of respect for Brent.”

Brent said, “Well, thank you for not spilling what I’ve said to you because that’d freak Ryan out.” He continued in a hushed tone, “And I’m not asking for him to slaughter me.”

I said lowly, “If you say whatever you said to Spencer about my mother in front of me or God forbid in front of her, so help me, you will not see the light of day. That’s a promise.”

“Dude, I wasn’t gonna say anything! Calm down!”

“You know how I am when it comes to my mother, Brent Matthew.” I saw him cringe when I addressed him by his full name. He hates it when I do this, but he knows I mean business underneath my fragile exterior. I smiled and touched his hand. “As long as you don’t push me to that point, we’re good.”

Brent replied confused, “Umm...okay then? You’re being super confusing.” I noticed Nick and Aiden getting up to leave and I waved at them. Brent seemed to be a bit more relaxed and he brought up what’s supposed to happen tonight. He began with, “So...Ryan, how do you feel about your sexy boss, also known as your history teacher, coming to your house for dinner with his boyfriend who happens to be our band teacher?”

I said, “Well, I was a bit surprised when he suggested it, but I’m okay with it.”

“You gonna try to keep yourself in check at the table?” he asked again. He continued, “Because I’m pretty sure your darling mother wouldn’t appreciate you touching yourself under the table from getting all hot and bothered by your boss. Just saying.”

Brendon said, “I’m also positive that Ryan’s very capable of controlling himself.” Spencer slammed his hands on the table and responded with a ‘thank you’. He sighed. “New subject that doesn’t involve Mr. Steele or Mr. Slavic. What’re we gonna do for senior projects?”

I shrugged. “Those are actually optional. You do know that, right?” I added, “I guess we could do something having to do with starting a band, but that’d be way too easy.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Thank god it’s not mandatory or else I wouldn’t be a happy Beeb.”

I pinched his cheek lovingly. “I wouldn’t want my Beeb to be unhappy. Trust me, I won’t be happy if we had to do it either.” High school’s stressful enough as it is, and a senior project on top of that would most likely send me to the hospital. I got up and hugged Brent from behind. “Sorry about earlier.” He said:

“No, no, no, it’s cool. It’s cool. I went a little too far. Say, do you think we should head back or no?”

Spencer nodded. “Yeah, we should probably get back before Dani gets worried.” Dani is short for my mom’s name, if you didn’t already know. Spence has been calling her Dani since he was little. We all gathered our things and walked out to the van to go back to my house. Well, now that Brendon is officially living with me, it’s his house too. When we got to my house, I noticed that there was another car in the driveway. It could be anyone, but my anxiety was going through the roof. Spencer asked me, “Ryan, you okay?” I shrugged because I don’t know how else to respond to that. He sighed. “What’s up?”

I asked timidly, “Who’s over here?” It can’t be my dad, it sure can’t be Ginger because she has to either be at work or with the girls, and I know it can’t be any of my siblings. So who could it be? Brent decided to answer for Spencer.

“Ryan, it’s probably just one of your mom’s friends or something.”

Right. It’s totally one of her friends. I’m skeptical. I got out of the car and walked up to the door to go inside. I saw someone who was vaguely familiar talking with my mom. I said, “Hi, Mama. We’re back.” My mom looked up at me and replied:

“Hi, Ry-Ry. Someone wanted to pay you a little visit.”

I asked, “Who’s this, Mama?” I took note of the mysterious figure’s details like the way the nose is slightly turned up and how wavy their hair looks. The person looked me dead in the eye and said: 

“Hey, Ryan. It’s been a while. Long time no see. You remember me?”

My mom said, “Ryan, you remember Miranda, right?” Miranda...Miranda. That name sounds so familiar. She explained, “She wanted to come over to make things right with you.” All the memories from middle school came back to me and hit me like a wrecking ball to a building that’s beyond repair. I began to have a flashback of the day I was in the girls’ bathroom simply washing my hands and this girl came up behind me and violated me. I got a better look at the girl’s face and I knew that it was her. My hands were shaking, my complexion was ghostly, and I felt nauseous. This had my mom obviously concerned. “Ryan, sweetie, are you okay?” Spencer came in to see what was going on and knew what was happening to me. My mom acknowledged him. “Hi, Spencer.”

“Hi, Dani.” He held my hand and felt how badly I was shaking, which freaked him out. My whole body feels cold and clammy, so I know that I’m probably going to pass out, throw up, or both. Spencer’s tone was panicked when he asked, “Ryan, what’s going on?! Tell me please!” I was in so much shock that I couldn’t give him a response. He said, “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. Please tell me!” I held my head in my hands, sobbing and shaking. He asked my mom, “Dani, who’s this girl?”

“That’s Miranda.”

Spencer was seething with rage. “Dani, why is she here?”

“She wants to make things right with Ryan.”

Miranda added, “Exactly. I feel absolutely terrible for what I did and I’m so sorry.” I furiously wiped my eyes and said to her:

“You violated me, Miranda. How can you expect me to forgive you for pulling my pants down, exposing everything, and pulling out a strap-on like you were going to fuck me in the bathroom?”

“Ryan, that was years ago.”

I screamed, “IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW LONG AGO IT WAS! THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU VIOLATED ME!” After that, I grabbed the small trash can in the living room, sunk to my knees and threw up in it. I felt dizzy because the room was spinning so fast. Spencer was holding onto me out of comfort. I said in a groggy tone, “Mama...you knew that I didn’t want her around me. You knew that I didn’t want to see her ever again.” I can’t believe she would do this to me. I’m guessing it was an honest mistake, but she should’ve known that Miranda is a huge threat to me and I never want to see her again.

 

*Brent’s POV*

 

Just when Brendon and I walked into Ryan’s house, I knew that something was wrong. I saw Spencer holding onto Ryan on the floor, Ryan’s throwing up, and his mom was talking to some stranger. When I attempted to comfort Ryan, he screamed. I backed off and asked, “Whoa! What’s going on here?” Spencer’s face had fear written all over it. I asked him, “Spence, what’s wrong with Ryan?”

“He’s having a panic attack, Brent.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why?” Spencer motioned to the stranger who was still sitting by Danielle. I whispered, “Is that who I think it is?” He nodded. “Dude. We have to get Ryan out of here now.” I attempted to comfort Ryan again and he seemed to not have an issue with it. I said to him quietly, “Ryan...hey, bud. It’s gonna be okay.” Not long after, he put the trash can back where it was and passed out on the carpet in the living room. Danielle saw the whole thing go down and she wasn’t too happy. She said to the person:

“Miranda, I don’t know why you think a simple apology makes everything okay, but it doesn’t! You still violated my son. Do you realize how terrified he is of you?”

She replied, “Mrs. Ross, I know what I did was wrong, but that was years ago. I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Danielle laughed sarcastically. “Sweetheart, a rapist is always a rapist. You should be in jail right now and I shouldn’t have ever allowed you to be in my house.” She got up in Miranda’s face. “Get out of my house. I never want to see you again. If I see you around my property, you better believe I’ll call the police.” It only took her threatening to call the police and Miranda was gone. Good thing too because I’m sure that this wouldn’t end well. She came over to where Ryan was and held him until he woke up. “Ryan, honey, I’m so sorry.”

Ryan replied quietly, “It’s okay, Mama. I’m fine.”

“But you had a panic attack because of me.”

“Mama, it’s okay. I’m just glad she’s out,” Ryan said. I saw him struggle a bit to stand up, but once I saw that he was standing upright, the worry vanished. He chuckled. “See, Mama? I’m okay!”

She patted his head and kissed his forehead. “I see that, Ry-Ry.” She asked him, “When are they supposed to come over?”

Ryan shrugged. “Anytime, really. Aiden didn’t say when they’re coming over exactly, but I’d expect them at anytime.”

Brendon, who was quiet the whole time, decided to say something to playfully tease Ryan. He said, “Babe, try not to turn into one of those boy band fangirls when they come over, okay?”

Ryan blushed and replied, “I’m not going to, Brendon! I’m very capable of controlling myself.”

He chuckled. “Well, we can’t be too sure about that. Aiden’s probably gonna be dressed all nice and that’s gonna make you go nuts.” Ryan covered up his now beet red face and giggled. He better control himself because I don’t think our band teacher would appreciate a sixteen year old hitting on his boyfriend. Wait...the last time I checked, he didn’t care. Brendon asked, “Danielle, do you know how long Nick’s been with Aiden?”

Danielle answered, “Oh, honey, they’ve been together for years. Aiden loves Nick very much...despite the age gap between them.” She added, “They met when Nick, your band teacher, started teaching. He was sixteen at the time, which was very unusual for a teenager to teach at a high school nonetheless, and that caught my son’s history teacher’s eye.” 

I asked, “Isn’t that illegal? Because he was a minor at the time.”

“The age of consent in Nevada is sixteen, Brent. Aiden’s eight years older than Nick. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Oh yeah, that’s right. I personally wouldn’t go out with someone as old as Mr. Steele (or Aiden, as Ryan prefers to call him), but whatever. As long as they’re keeping it safe, it’s fine, I guess. It’s a little weird to find out how old our band teacher (or Nick) was when he first met Ryan’s boss because I never knew this until now. Probably because Mr. Slavic doesn’t like to discuss stuff like that in class. Tonight’s gonna be super awkward. I can just see it now.

 

 

*That night*

 

*Aiden’s POV*

 

“Aiden! Could you come in here, please?” I heard Nick call for me and I went to our room to see what he wanted. He was trying to figure out which shirt to wear to dinner. Typical. My little strawberry’s so silly. He asked me, “What color should I wear, honey?” He’s asking for my opinion on what color he should wear? That just makes me laugh. He held up a mint green colored button-up shirt and a pastel blue shirt that was the same style except it was long-sleeved. Nick asked again, “Should I wear the mint or the blue?”

I replied, “Nicky, my dear, you know you look lovely in both.” I added, “But you look a lot better in mint. Green goes great with red hair and those dashing blue-green eyes.” I saw his cheeks flush warmly. “You’re so cute. Pink suits you too.”

Nick laughed. “Oh, stop!” He threw on the mint shirt, buttoned it up and put on his suspenders. I ruffled up his red curly hair and smiled at him. “Does this look okay, Aiden?”

“You look fine, darling,” I said with a laugh. I teased him playfully. “My god, you remind me of Ryan when you do that.”

“Not my fault I want to at least look nice next to you!” he said. “Because you’re always in a suit and tie.” I held him close and squeezed his hips with my hands. Nick’s cheeks flushed as red as his hair and he pursed his lips. “Aiden, you’re like a hungry lion.”

I replied, “And you, my dear, are like a lamb.” Ever since I’ve known him, he’s always been so fragile and had to take medications to feel right, so to speak, but that’s never bothered me because I understand why. That’s a lot of the reason why I connect with Ryan so much. Because he reminds me of Nick in a lot of ways. No, I’m not trying to hit on one of the students who works for me. I have way too much respect for him. Sure I have thoughts, but I don’t act upon them. Nick and Ryan are just so broken in a lot of ways and I feel as if I should take care of both of them because they don’t deserve to be this way. If I could take him in so he can get away from his father, I would. The only problem with that is Nick doesn’t want Ryan to see how bad he gets. He’s afraid he’s going to scare him. Well, there are a few things that Nick will only let me see, so it’s understandable. I know the day when he found a student of his hanging in his office closet haunts him still. He’s too good of a person to have those things happen to him. Speaking of his condition, I wanted to check to make sure he took all the medicine he was supposed to take today. I asked him, “Sweetheart, did you take everything you needed to today?”

Nick nodded. “Yes. Why do you ask?” He knows exactly why I asked. I just gave him a look and he said, “Please don’t worry about me, Aiden. I’m gonna be just fine.”

I questioned him. “How about when you had multiple panic attacks every single day for the past few months? I thought you were going to have a stroke. That’s why I asked!”

“That was because I was worried about my little Rossie,” he said quietly. ‘Rossie’ is one of the nicknames he has for Ryan. Nick continued, “I’m sorry, Aiden. I can’t control when they happen...even with the medicine. Ryan was in the hospital and he wasn’t really allowed to see anyone except for nurses and doctors. He was alone and scared.”

I sighed. “Nicky, I know. You called me crying because you saw the state he was in...and you stayed there pretty much every week so he wouldn’t be lonely.” I knew there was something that went on during that time, but he’s too afraid to tell me. I asked him, “Did anything go on or no?” He hesitated at first. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to be angry with you if you say yes.”

He replied, “Well, something almost happened. I wanted to do things with Ryan...bad things.”

“If all you did was make out with him and touch him a bit, that’s not even remotely bad,” I said sympathetically. I asked, “Wait...hold on. Did you want to have your way with him?”

“Yes, I did, Aiden, and he wanted it too, but he’s a teenager.”

I smiled. “You met me when you were a teenager. His age, to be exact.”

“That’s different. I literally wanted to have sex with the kid I used to babysit!” Nick put his hands to his head. “He’s like a little brother to me! Plus, he’s in my class, so that makes it even worse!” He was almost on the verge of tears. “I can’t believe I would look at him that way. He’s not ready for that yet. Yes, what happened to him in middle school has a lot to do with it and I shouldn’t have tried to push myself onto him like that.”

My voice was calm when I said, “Nick...I’m not mad. I’m glad you told me. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve thought about having my way with him too.”

Nick replied, “I know you do, hun. It’s not really a surprise to me.” He added, “I can’t imagine how Danielle would react, let alone her husband. They’d kill me if I did that to Ryan.” My god, he needs to calm down. It’s not the end of the world. I saw him grab his coat and go out to the kitchen to grab the casserole we’re bringing to dinner. He’s such a great cook. I never really knew that about him until I met his uncles. They took him when he was young because his parents weren’t stable enough to take care of him. I asked him:

“Are you ready to go, sweetheart?”

He nodded.

“Good. We don’t want to keep the Ross family waiting, do we?” 

Nick groaned. “Aiden! You’re acting like my uncle Stephen!” I chuckled and opened the door for him. He walked down to the garage to the passenger side of the silver Mercedes I own. I followed him down, closing the door behind me and unlocked the car with my keys. When we were both in the car, Nick asked me, “Why don’t you ever let me drive this car, Aide?”

I said delicately, “Nick, the reason why I don’t let you drive the Mercedes is because I’m afraid you’re going to have an anxiety attack behind the wheel. Plus you have to take a lot of medication. I’m not risking having you drive when your medicine kicks in.”

“Aiden, I’m very capable of driving a car, even if I’ve taken my meds.”

I sighed. “We have discussed this before. I’m not letting you drive my car high off your meds and that’s final. I don’t care if you can drive after you’ve taken them. I care about your safety and I’m not in the mood to argue with you, Nicholas, so quit.” He cringed when I addressed him by his real name. I asked, “You don’t like it when I address you as ‘Nicholas’, do you?” Nick shook his head. My voice was gentle when I said, “Sweetie, I’m not trying to control you or treat you like a child. I hope you know that. You’re too precious to me, Nick, and all I want is to keep you safe.” He groaned and rolled his eyes. I chuckled. “Typical Nicky. A stubborn and cute little redhead.” We drove over to the Ross house, which wasn’t too far from the high school. I gently nudged Nick’s shoulder. “Behave yourself, Carrot Top.”

“I will, Dad,” he said, giggling.

“Oh, hush.” I parked the car in their driveway and turned it off. I said to him smoothly, “I thought you only called me ‘Daddy’ in bed. This is new.”

Nick giggled. “I was joking.”

“So was I, baby. Now let’s go let them know we’re here.” Nick nodded as if to say he understood. I got out of the car first to open his door because he was holding the casserole. We walked up to the front door and then knocked on it. Eventually, the door opened and the first person we saw was Spencer. He said to us:

“Hey, guys. Come on in.”

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

Oh jeez. Looks like Nick came over with his beau. I called out to Ryan, “Yo, Ryro! Your boyfriends are here!” I busted up laughing and all Ryan did was glare at me. I said, “Ryan, I was kidding.”

He replied, “Spencer, just because I have crushes on them, it doesn’t make them my boyfriends. I have Brendon, remember?” I just laughed it off and patted him on the back. If you’re wondering where Brent is, he drove home. Our band teacher was talking to Dani and he seemed to have something in a container. It looks like a casserole, but I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask him. Ryan went over to where his mom was and asked, “Nick, what’s in the container?”

Nick said confidently, “It’s a rice casserole. You said your mom suggested to bring something, right?”

Danielle said, “Oh, Nick, you didn’t have to.” She added, “That’s so sweet of you.”

“It’d be rude if we didn’t bring anything, Dani,” he replied. Nick motioned Aiden to come over. “Isn’t that right, hun?”

“Oh, yes, sweetheart.” Honestly, it’s a little weird to know that Nick and Aiden are dating because they both teach at the high school. What’s even weirder is the fact that Nick was only sixteen when he met him. Aiden’s thirty-two, if you were wondering. Aiden asked Dani, “Say...where’s your husband, Danielle?” I hope that they don’t fight with each other at the table because I know that’d freak Dani, Ryan, and Nick out. It’s probably not going to happen, but still.

“George is in the basement doing who knows what in there,” she replied. “He’ll be up here eating with us whenever.”

Aiden nodded. “Fair enough.” His eyes darkened when he said, “I’d like to have a word with him alone, if that’s okay with you.”

Danielle asked, “Sure. What do you need to talk to him about?”

“Your son.” He was very vague with his response. He said quietly, “Now...I’m only going to say this to you. If I hear from Ryan or Brendon that your husband is being abusive towards either one of them again, we’re taking them both.”

 

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

“Aiden, we’ve talked about this. I don’t want them to see how bad I get,” I said in a worried tone. My boyfriend told Danielle that we’d take Brendon and Ryan if he heard that George was being abusive again. I said to her, “I’m so sorry, Dani. Aiden cares about these boys deeply and he’s built such a strong connection with Ryan.”

Danielle replied, “Oh, I know, Nick. He adores you both.” I noticed that George came up to see what was going on. “George, Aiden and Nick are here for dinner.” A grumble was the only response that came out of him. He gave me an intimidating look, which made me hide behind my boyfriend in fear. Danielle said, “George, enough. He’s not doing anything to you.” She came over to comfort me. “It’s okay. He won’t hurt you. You don’t need to hide, honey. Now let’s all go to the table.” I walked over to their dining room table and took the seat next to Ryan, who was sitting by Brendon and Spencer. I truly hope that everything goes well and no fights break out. Aiden took the seat across from mine and Ryan’s parents took the other remaining seats. I’m wondering how they like my casserole. I heard Brendon say:

“Mr. Slavic, this is delicious. Where’d you learn to make this rice casserole?”

I replied modestly, “Thank you. I learned how to make it from my uncle Stephen.” Brendon nodded and gave me a response. I know Ryan likes it. I said to him, “Wow. This is the first time in a while since you’ve eaten this much, Ry. It’s good to see you eat.” I know he doesn’t have an eating disorder. I just know that he doesn’t usually eat a lot due to him being so prone to stress.

Ryan blushed. “Thanks, Nick.” He asked, “Daddy, could you pass the salt, please?” To my surprise, George and Aiden both reached for the salt shaker, then looked at each other in confusion. Spencer was cracking up because this was completely unexpected. Ryan said quietly, “I-I can explain…” George wasn’t too happy, I’ll tell you that.

“Are you callin’ your boss ‘Daddy’, boy?” he asked, motioning to my boyfriend. Ryan nodded and I could see his father about to come unglued on him. George roared, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Brendon began comforting Ryan, who was almost on the verge of tears. He got up and growled. “I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on right now.”

Brendon stepped in. “George, you leave him alone. If he wants to call his boss ‘Daddy’, that’s between the two of them.” He added, “Besides, Mr. Steele’s been more of a father figure to my baby than you ever have been during his sixteen years of life! I can see why he calls him ‘Daddy’!” I noticed Aiden was trying his best to hide the fact that he’s seething under his normally cool exterior. George grumbled.

“Well, Brendon, your darling boyfriend shouldn’t be calling his boss ‘Daddy’. That’s fucked up,” he said. “But that’s because he’s been fucked up in the head since he was born. You love him anyway, knowing he’s fucked in the head.”

“My baby’s perfect the way he is.” 

George replied, “If you consider being fuckin’ horny over grown ass men perfect, you’ve got some low standards.”

 

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

Aiden got up, took me out of the room, and took me upstairs...for some reason. I think it’s just to get me away from the commotion happening in the dining room. I said to him, “I’m so sorry, Aiden.” That was when I teared up and crumbled like a cookie. “I-I knew that my father would blow up like that...I knew it. It’s all my fault.” Aiden shook his head and comforted me. He asked:

“How is this your fault, Ryan? You did absolutely nothing wrong.”

I sniffled. “It’s because I called you ‘Daddy’ right in front of my father….a-and in front of Nick. I feel terrible because you’re Nick’s boyfriend and I shouldn’t come in between you two.” 

“Ryan, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean for it to slip out,” he said sympathetically. “And you’re not coming in between Nick and me. He knows that you see me as a father figure.” Aiden sat down next to me on the foot of my bed and held me close, stroking my hair. He whispered, “It’s not your fault at all. Don’t think that it is. Now I need for you to settle down.” It didn’t take long for me to be finally calm. My god, he seems to have so much experience with this kind of thing. Probably because he has to do this with Nick a lot. I looked at him, my eyes feeling all swollen and puffy from crying. Aiden held my face in his hands and said gently, “You don’t need to be in tears. You need to be happy, dear.” His lips pressed gently against my forehead and his hands wiped away any stray tears. Again, I’m so lucky to have someone as sweet as him for a boss and a teacher. I heard someone banging on the door and I heard them scream:

“GEORGE RYAN ROSS THE THIRD, YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW!”

I know for a fact that’s my dad screaming at me. I was sent into a full-blown panic attack over the sound of his screaming and I eventually became a sobbing mess. It was to the point where I couldn’t breathe and I felt nauseous. My voice was shaky when I said, “A-Aiden...Aiden!” He took me into the bathroom in my room just in case I was going to throw up. Thank goodness I didn’t. Aiden gave me some cold tap water to drink so I can calm down. I eventually calmed down enough to tell him, “I didn’t mean to have a panic attack in front of you, Aiden.” I heard my dad grumbling and trying to get my attention by banging on my door. Then I heard what sounded like my mom trying to get him to stop.

“Don’t ever be sorry for having a panic attack, my dear.” My dad just wouldn’t let up and I noticed my boss’s patience growing thin. He said to me, “You stay put, Ryan. I’ll take care of this.” Aiden walked over to the door, opened it and faced him. I’ll never forget the way he spoke to him. He said in a cool tone of voice, “Mr. Ross, I cannot believe how you treat him. Do you have any idea how many times your son has broken down because of you treating him like dog dung?” I’ve never heard him cuss once. He probably does around Nick though.

My dad replied with a snarl, “How I treat my boy is none of your business, you sick bastard. My son is fucked up in the head like the pillow-bitin’ fag you call your boyfriend and you know it.” He asked him, “Let me ask you something, Steele. Do you have kids of your own?”

Aiden shook his head. “I don’t have children, but if I did, I wouldn’t treat them like you treat my student, who also happens to be my employee. It’s pretty sad how he sees me as more of a father figure than you, and you two are related. Actually, that isn’t at all surprising.”

“AT LEAST I DIDN’T MEET MY WIFE WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER AND WANTED TO FUCK HER BRAINS OUT!”

He chuckled. “Oh, just because my darling Nicky met me when he was sixteen and I was twenty-four, that doesn’t make me a pedophile. If I was attracted to minors, and only minors, then yes, that would make me a pedophile. You don’t seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed, George. I guess all those years of drinking shrunk your vocabulary and your intelligence.” Aiden added, “Shameful, really. If I was Danielle, I’d leave you. The way you treat her isn’t much better because your own son has to always be on guard when it comes to her to prevent her from being as beaten down as he is. Now what do you have to say for yourself?”

“You keep my wife out of this. She has nothing to do with it! This is between you and me, pal.”

“Why, yes, she does. She has a lot to do with this,” Aiden replied smug. “Danielle is the only support Ryan has in this house besides Brendon and his friends, and he’s scared to death of the thought of her getting hurt like he does, so he’s protective of her at all times. How do you think he feels? Or do you care?”

My dad snarled. “My god, you’re starting to really piss me off. You won’t even get mad and yell. What a pussy.”

Aiden smirked and said, “I wouldn’t use a slang term for the vagina as an insult, if I were you, George. Especially since you happen to be straight and like the female anatomy.” He added, “Just like how I’m bisexual leaning more towards men, but I don’t use slang terms for the penis to insult people. It’s juvenile.” Aiden laughed. “I expected more hard-hitting insults from the likes of you, George. I’m disappointed. Our cats Venus, Diamond, Willow, and Piper can come up with better ones than you. They can’t even speak English.” Yeah, Aiden and Nick have four cats. A Russian Blue, a long-haired white cat, a chocolate point Siamese, and a calico.

“Goddammit, quit being a fuckin’ smartass, you rich cuck!” That was when Aiden pulled a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to my dad. He asked in confusion, “What’s the twenty for, Steele?”

He replied, “That’s for you to buy some better insults that don’t involve using profanity, you sorry excuse for a man. A real straight man would respect his wife and give his children love and support, not use a bunch of scare tactics and abuse to get his point across.” Aiden extended his hand out for my dad to shake it. “My name is Aiden Christian Steele. Pleased to meet you, George.” I just stood next to him and applauded for him. He said to me, “Thank you, Ryan.”

My dad said to him, “I can’t believe how you can stay cool as a cucumber and not react.”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Maybe you need some anger management classes, Mr. Ross. I can refer you to a counselor I know and give you their phone number, if you’d like.” I nodded in agreement. Aiden motioned to me. “Your son agrees. He loves you enough to tell you that you need a lot of help.” He added, “Look, George, I apologize for any shenanigans on my part.”

He replied, “What should you apologize for? The one who should apologize is the son I have who’s horny for grown ass men.” Aiden shook his head and just laughed. My dad continued, “Ryan, what do you have to say for yourself? Why are you so fucked up that you have to get some comfort from grown men?”

I said, “I’m not apologizing to you anymore, Father. You have no idea how well Aiden, Nick, and Brendon treat me. I have people outside of this house who support me, and you want to take that away from me? What’s the matter with you?” I added, “You think I’m broken and you want to try and fix me, but you won’t even take a look at yourself. That’s extremely hypocritical. You like to point out my shortcomings, yet you won’t take the time to look at your own and fix them.”

My dad laughed sarcastically and responded with, “Wow, Ryan! I wonder where you got that tone from. Probably this pedophile you’re fuckin’ horny for!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! AIDEN ISN’T A FUCKING PEDOPHILE! HE HAS NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN!” I shouted. I continued angrily, “Just because he met Nick when he was my age, that doesn’t make him a fucking pedophile. You’re just saying that because you’re jealous of the fact that I’m not afraid to call him ‘Daddy’ and tell him that I love him like he’s my dad.” I wrapped my arms around Aiden and said, “Now leave him alone.” My mom looked at me and I saw guilt written all over her face. “Mama, I can explain. It’s nothing sexual at all.” She said:

“I know, honey. I understand.”

Of course, my dad didn’t like the fact that my mom was backing me up on this. He asked her, “Danielle, what the hell are you doing? You’re allowing our son to call some other man ‘Daddy’?”

My mom replied, “Well, what’s wrong with that? I don’t blame him, George. He’s not hurting anybody. He just sees him as a paternal figure.”

I said relieved, “Thank you, Mama! Thank you!” Nick motioned my parents to move out of the way and he joined Aiden and me. I greeted him. “Nicky!” My arms wrapped around him and to my surprise, he felt all clammy. I asked out of concern, “Nick...are you okay? You feel sweaty and you look pale.”

Aiden replied, “Oh, Ryan, Nick’s always pale.”

“No...he looks paler than usual,” I said, shaking my head. I took Nick’s hands and held them. The dullness in his eyes said everything. I went with my instincts and took him into the bathroom because I heard him breathing heavier than he normally does. I sat down next to him and began rubbing his back since I know that he’s about to be sick. All I could do was just prepare for what’s about to happen. Nick just began heaving and coughing up whatever he ate into the toilet bowl, which wasn’t much obviously. I asked him, “Nick, what’s the matter?”

Nick groaned and replied groggily, “R-Ryan...I-I feel sick.”

“What’s causing you to feel that way, Nicky?”

“Stress. It’s caused me to have multiple panic attacks almost every day,” he said, wiping his mouth with toilet paper. Nick added, “It’s mostly because of what happened.” I teared up thinking about being in the hospital and I feel so terrible for stressing out the one person who’s the closest to a big brother I’ll ever have all because I was being selfish. I replied quietly:

“Nicky, I’m so sorry.”

He replied, “No, Ryan. Please don’t be sorry. You can’t help feeling that way. I could never hold that against you.” 

I insisted, “Nick, I hurt you and Aiden. I hurt my friends. I hurt my boyfriend. I hurt my family. I hurt everyone I love and care about! I wanted to kill myself to free myself from the pain of everyday life!” I asked, “You’re not even mad at me for that?” He shook his head. “Why not? I did the worst thing ever.”

Nick said, “Please listen to me, Ryan, and listen well. You didn’t hurt me or anyone else. Wanna know who you really hurt?” I nodded. He said bluntly, “Ryan, you hurt yourself. You never really learned how to love yourself, have you? You’ve always worried about others and their opinion of you. You love others, but you can’t bring yourself to love you.” Nick washed his mouth out with the tap water from the bathroom sink and put his hand on my shoulder. He sighed. “I know how you feel. Trust me. I’ve been there. It sucks. But I know you’ll get through this point in your life and feel better about yourself.” He continued, “You know...when I first started teaching, I thought that nobody would like me because I wasn’t that much older than the first bunch of students I had. I had to deal with losing one of them.” Oh yeah, the girl who hung herself in one of the closets he has in his office. I know he never uses it. Nick started tearing up as he continued, “I felt like it was my fault she died. I could’ve saved her and she’d still be here, but at the same time, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

“Nick, I know that’s traumatized you. There are things that happened in my life that still haunt me to this day,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “But it wasn’t your fault she died. You didn’t do anything to cause it. I know you tried to do everything in your power to help her.” I shrugged. “Just like how it wasn’t my fault I had someone attempt to take advantage of me.”

He sighed. “I still have a lot of guilt because of that day.”

I replied, “It was never your fault and it’s still not. I hate to say this, but if you tried to stop her, I don’t know if that would change anything.”

Nick flopped on the bathroom floor. “Yes, it would. She’d be here! Ryleigh would be out doing great things!”

“No matter how much guilt you have or how many tears you shed, you’re not gonna bring her back. I’m sorry. That’s not how it works.”

He said, “I know that, Ryan. I just can’t help but feel guilt, you know?” Nick wiped his eyes and pulled himself together. “Enough of that though. Back to what I was saying. Everyone goes through some kind of hardship in their lives. Some more than others. I was taken away from my parents because they weren’t fit to take care of me and my uncles raised me. At the time, it was almost unheard of to have someone’s sibling take custody of a child...let alone a couple that’s made up of two men or two women. Being the only teacher that wasn’t much older than a lot of the kids and being openly gay, I felt broken and alone. I assumed that nobody wanted to be around me because I like men. I didn’t know what it was like to love myself either, Ryan. I loved everyone else around me, like my uncles, the students I had, the people I worked with...but I didn’t save any for myself. I felt like I didn’t deserve it.” Nick added, “When I first met Aiden, that all changed. He stood out to me and I knew that we’d be able to connect with each other.” 

I gushed, “My god, Nicky! I bet you were always gushing about Aiden like I know a lot of the people he had did.” Nick blushed and started giggling. I said, “You’re blushing! You totally did! Don’t deny it, Nick! Those red cheeks say everything. Don’t worry. I do my fair share of gushing about him too.”

He giggled. “It’s obvious, don’t you think? All the girls had crushes on him. They still do.” Obviously. Aiden’s fucking hot. Who wouldn’t have a crush on him? I helped Nick up and played with his curly hair. “He showed me how to love myself and to be loved.” Nick said to me, “You have someone who’s like Aiden. Don’t forget that. Brendon loves you. He’s been with you through thick and thin.” He whispered, “He’s a keeper.”

I nodded. “I won’t lose him.” Now that I think about it, I don’t know if we’ll all be together forever though. If I’m lucky, I’ll have Brendon and Spencer. I don’t know about Brent. I’m afraid he’ll fuck up somehow and we’ll be separated. I’m probably just being paranoid.

 

But it doesn’t mean I’m not still suspicious.


	6. Numb

The first part of this chapter is a flashback and is just a bit of a filler. Sorry if it doesn’t mix into the story.

 

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

Eight years ago…

 

I walked into the high school where I’m going to be teaching for the first time ever. The first day of me being a teacher is just so crazy to me because I’m only sixteen, which sounds weird since I’m not that much older or younger than all the kids here. I walked up the stairs with a rolling duffel bag full of papers and things for my first bunch of students to the huge band room. At first, I was wondering where I’d put my stuff, but after looking around for a big shiny desk, I came across the separate office in the room. I knew that I had to get everything set up because I know people will come in here soon and I want to make a good first impression. Just when I was going to sit back and relax a bit, a group of kids came in. I got up to see what was going on. I said to them, “Hi!”

A girl who was dressed in the alternative style (or grunge, if you prefer) beamed. “Hey! Are you the new band teacher?”

I nodded. “Sure am! What can I do for you?” Another kid with a beanie and snakebite lip piercings gave me a gift of some sort. He said:

“Here’s a little something to welcome you here.”

“Oh, thank you,” I replied modestly. I added sheepishly, “To be honest, I’m really nervous. This is my first time teaching ever.” I whispered, “I’m sixteen and already teaching at a high school.”

A kid dressed like a hipster gasped in shock. “Dude, no way. You cannot be just sixteen.”

I replied, shrugging my shoulders, “But I am. It’s a bit hard to believe, but I graduated very early.” Yeah, I’m a smarty pants. So what? I asked the group of kids, “Where did you all come from?”

The alternative girl said, “The drama room. She said to come up here to make you feel not as nervous...because the kids can get pretty hectic.”

I laughed. “I appreciate it. Thank you.” I looked at the time and I said to them, “I need to get prepared, guys. You’re welcome to come back later.” When they left, I felt the amount of anxiety I had leave me. It was only temporary because it all came back when the first bell rang. I thought, Oh, I’m so nervous! What if I mess up? They’ll have my head! Or maybe they’ll be the complete opposite. That’d be great. I noticed a group of kids all coming in here to grab their instruments, chairs, stands, and whatnot. There was one girl who really stood out from the rest. No, I don’t have a crush on her. That’s not what I meant. She was just sitting there in the back of the room alone. That reminds me of how I was when I was in class. I usually sat by myself because people didn’t want to be around me. They thought I was weird for being openly gay. I pulled myself together, grabbed the clipboard they gave me full of papers with the students’ names on them and went out there. I said, “Hi, everyone. I’m your new band teacher.”

Someone sighed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you seriously our new band teacher? Where’s Thompson?” Oh! I forgot to say that I’ve been chosen to replace the old band teacher because he got fired. Nobody’s told me why exactly, but frankly, I don’t care at the moment.

I replied, “No joke, I’m your new band teacher and you’re gonna have to get used to it. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“How old are you?” a girl with glasses asked.

“Sixteen.” I knew that everyone would be shocked by that. The kid who was giving me a hard time earlier decided to go off again. He said:

“They seriously hired a sixteen year old to be the band teacher?! Wow. Nobody’s gonna take you seriously! You’re a kid like us!”

I laughed it off. “Crazy, I know. I’m not that much older or younger than any of you. Now...let’s take role, shall we?” I took role for everyone until I got to the end. I asked, “Is there anyone I didn’t call?” The girl who was sitting by herself raised her hand. I said, “Oh, I’m so sorry! What’s your name?”

She said quietly, “My name’s Ryleigh. Ryleigh Matthews. I was transferred over here.” People groaned loudly and there was a sea of “Nobody cares!” and “Shut up!”

“Hey, guys and gals, let’s not be rude to Ryleigh, okay? She’s not doing anything to harm any of you.”

One of the girls, Sadie, said, “But she’s weird, Mr. Slavic!”

I smirked. “Sadie, we’re all weird. Let’s just leave it at that.” I passed out the syllabus forms and all that jazz before asking for them to play some scales and fill out their journals, if they already had one. My first class and I’m doing pretty good. The next class came in and I did the same routine...you know. Three hours go by quick, I’ll tell you. Next thing I know, it’s lunch time. I walked around the school to get a good look at all the classrooms and everything. That was when I stumbled across the history hall, which was just by my class. I was eating a simple sandwich, finished it up and went in the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I came out, I noticed a tall man with black-brown hair and a suit. I looked down at my button-down shirt with black jeans, suspenders and the bowtie I had on. I followed him back to the teacher’s lounge and acted like I was refilling a cup of coffee once I got there. It didn’t take him very long to notice me. He said:

“Hello there.”

I looked back and replied, “H-Hi...how are you?” The tall mysterious man got up and went over to introduce himself to me. He replied:

“I’m doing quite fine, thank you. Yourself?”

“I’m okay. It’s my first day teaching, sir,” I said to him.

He looked surprised. “Oh, really? I’ve been hearing from some of my students that you’re the new band teacher.” I nodded, blushing. He chuckled. “Adorable. My name’s Aiden, by the way.”

I replied, “I’m Nick. Nice to meet you, Aiden.” I looked down and blushed wildly at what I saw in his pants. I thought, He’s huge. Oh my god. Plus his eyes are beautiful...my god, I think I’ve got myself a crush. I went to go put some things away and I heard Aiden say:

“I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but you have a quite lovely derrière.”

His comment about me made me blush. I asked, unsure, “What does that mean, Aiden?” He just laughed. “I-I’m serious. I don’t know what you mean by that.” I’ve never taken a French class, so I don’t know what he’s talking about. I asked again, “Could you please tell me?”

Aiden replied, “Gladly. I was referring to your behind, my dear.” He wrapped his arm around me and patted my ass. He added, “It’s a nice one.” I started giggling. Not because I’m uncomfortable. I’m flattered, to be honest.

I said, “Thank you...I’ve been told I have a nice butt.” I added in an embarrassed tone, “I-I couldn’t help but notice how big you were...I don’t mean to be creepy or anything.”

He whispered in my ear, “You have very nice curly hair and beautiful eyes too.”

“Thank you, Aiden,” I replied. I asked him, “Say, maybe after everyone goes home, would you want to grab a coffee with me or something?” I hope he says yes.

“Sure. I’d like to get to know you a little better, Nick,” Aiden said softly. He added, “I think we’d better head back to our classrooms...Mr. Slavic.”

I nodded. “Y-Yeah, Mr. Steele. We’d better.” I knew that after this last class, I’d be able to see this mysterious man again. I heard a few girls gushing about a teacher they had a crush on and I couldn’t help but join in on it. I asked them, “Who’s the guy you’re all crushing on here?”

They all said, “Mr. Steele!” 

I squealed. “Oh, him? He’s such a hunk!” I giggled and asked them, “Have you ever noticed how smooth his voice is?” To be honest, I was about to ask if they noticed how big his dick was, but I’m not looking to get fired on the first day. They nodded. I said, “I actually just met him...in the teacher’s lounge upstairs. He’s very sweet. I’m actually going with him to grab some coffee after this.”

“Oh my god, are you serious? I’m jealous!” one of them said. I nodded proudly. She added, “Wow...he must really like you, Mr. Slavic.” Our fun was interrupted by someone with dreadlocks and a beanie asking me:

“Dude, are you like gay or something? No guy talks about another guy like that.”

I said sharply, “Yes, I’m gay! Gay and proud of it! Got a problem with that? I can talk about guys if I want, like if a girl wants to talk about other girls.” I added, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t need to be told how a guy should talk about another guy.” To my surprise, Mr. Steele was nearby and he was just clapping. I noticed him and told him, “It’s true, sir. I’m gay. I hope you don’t think of me differently.”

Mr. Steele asked, “Why would I have an issue with that, Mr. Slavic? Believe it or not, I’m bisexual. I prefer men.” He noticed the three girls by me and said to them, “Hello there, Nicki, Cherri, and Ashley. I see you’ve gotten to know the new teacher here.”

Cherri replied, “Yep! He’s adorable.” She began to play with my hair. “Ohmygod, Nicki! Ash! His hair feels so soft.” Next thing I know, I have three teenage girls touching my hair. “Is it like naturally curly or do you get it professionally done?”

I said, “It’s natural.” Maybe I was wrong about this going bad. It’s going well...I bet Uncle Stephen and Uncle Tyler will be happy to hear that. After I got everything prepared for tomorrow morning, I walked out of the band room, locked the door, and went to go meet up with Aiden. He came up right behind me and I jumped up in surprise. I gasped. “God, you scared me.”

Aiden chuckled. “You’re quite the jumpy one. I thought it’d be more convenient to meet you here in front of your classroom rather than meet out in the parking lot.” Yeah...that’d just be kind of creepy. This guy doesn’t scare me at all. If anything, he’s the least threatening teacher I’ve encountered so far. He asked me, “Do you drive at all?” 

I replied, “I drive, but I live close to the school and I wanted to save gas...so I walked today.” Aiden nodded as if to say he understands. I asked meekly, “Y-You don’t mind giving me a ride, do you, Mr. Steele?”

Aiden gave me a friendly pat on the back. “Nick, you don’t need to be so formal, you know. Just call me Aiden.” Well, I guess he’s a bit more laidback than I expected. I honestly thought he would be super strict, but he’s not. He added, “And I don’t mind giving you a ride, dear. People are maniacs on the road and I can’t have a darling young man like yourself get hit. It’d break my heart.” And we barely even know each other. I’ll let it slide though because he’s hot. We walked out of the school building and out to the parking lot where the teachers park. We ended up in front of a silver Audi that looked like it was brand spanking new. 

“Oh my god. How can you afford something like this?”

“Quite simple, actually. I come from a rich family and I own a business,” he replied. “Also hard work, of course.” At least he’s not one of those snobby rich guys who have never worked a day in their lives. I hate them so much. They annoy me. Like, they act like they’re entitled to everything. Aiden asked me, “How about you, Nick?”

I’m afraid to tell him about my family because I don’t know how he feels about two people of the same sex taking care of a kid. I said to him, “Well, my mom’s a druggie and my dad’s abusive. I don’t really know them anyway because I was put into foster care when I was really little. They weren’t fit to take care of me...so my uncles Stephen and Tyler stepped in and took custody of me. I’ve been with them since.” I added, “I know it’s weird that I’m being raised by my two uncles. It’s almost unheard of because you know how a lot of people are when it comes to people like us.”

Surprisingly, Aiden didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He said sympathetically, “I’m sorry to hear about your parents, dear. But at least you’re in a good home with your uncles and they love you like you’re their own.”

“You don’t think it’s weird how I’m with them and not my parents?”

Aiden laughed. “Heavens no! It’s not weird at all!” He unlocked the doors to his car. “You seem to be forgetting the fact that I’m bisexual and have no problems with people who are gay.” I sat in the passenger seat and scanned everything that was in the car until my eyes wandered over to his...package. Aiden added, “I just prefer men over women. Especially those like yourself.” He started up the car and drove out of the parking lot.

I asked, “I’m not too young for you, am I? Because I can be hard to deal with...since I’m only sixteen. I hope that doesn’t change what you think of me because I do like you.” Shit...I told him how old I am. Oh my god, please don’t reject me, Aiden. I know we just met today, but I really like him and I don’t want to be rejected. The response I got from him was completely unexpected. He said:

“So what? You’re a sixteen year old. Sixteen is legal in Nevada. It’s not a bad thing.”

I replied, “Well...I think they meant that I could do things with other sixteen year olds.” I added, “But I like older guys anyway.”

Aiden shook his head. “You’re highly mistaken. We can do some things too. Just need to be careful is all.”

“Isn’t this considered illegal? I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

He said, “You won’t get me in trouble, I promise.” He added, “Besides, you’re basically legal. Here, that is. There’s nothing to worry about. As long as everything is consensual between us, we’ll be just fine.”

I asked, “You read a lot, don’t you?” Aiden nodded. I smiled. “Figured that. You’re very smart, Aiden.” And then there’s me, a dumb sixteen year old who knows next to nothing about the world. I don’t know what drew him to me exactly besides my looks. Maybe it’s the way I present myself. I added, “My god, next to you, I’m an idiot and you’re Einstein.”

Aiden replied, “What makes you think that, Nick? You’re a very intelligent young man. I don’t think you’re stupid. Naïve about the world, but that’s it. Can you name anyone who was a teacher at a school who was your age?” I shrugged. He continued, “Exactly. You’re a special one, Nick. Don’t ever think that you’re less than that.”

“Well, you’re just so smart and educated unlike me. You seemed to have had a better family life than I ever did, that’s for sure.” I could tell Aiden was getting annoyed with me comparing myself to him, so I said, “Sorry...I’ll shut up now. You’re getting annoyed by me.” I sighed and put my head in my hands. “I’m such a burden on everyone...even people I barely know. I’m sorry.” I hid my face in the jacket I had on and started crying. I continued in a shaky voice, “My god, why am I crying in front of you?! God, I’m such a crybaby, I can’t stand to look at myself! Maybe I should’ve killed myself and succeeded in doing so…” I noticed the car coming to a stop at a park. Oh my god, Aiden’s mad at me. I hit a nerve. He’ll probably never speak to me again. Aiden responded with:

“What did you say?”

I sniffled. “I-It’s a little hard to believe, but I tried to kill myself a couple years ago. I tried to down a bunch of sleeping pills with a glass of milk. My uncle Tyler was up and he caught me doing it, so I had to go to a mental hospital. It was horrible.” Aiden took my hands and held them. I continued, “But I guess it helped a little bit.”

“Believe it or not, I noticed that about you when we were in the teacher’s lounge. You gave off a very closed-off and insecure vibe before you began to warm up to me more.” Oh shit, did he see the scars on my arms? I sure hope he didn’t. Aiden grasped my arm and looked at the scars that went from my wrist down to where the inside of my elbow is. He said quietly, “I saw these, Nick. I’m not going to tell anyone about this if you promise me that you’ll never hurt yourself like this again.”

I replied, “Well, I haven’t done this in a while, so there’s no need to worry.”

Aiden said firmly, “Nick, I don’t care if you haven’t harmed yourself in a few days, a few weeks, months, or years. There’s a chance you could do this again, and I’m not allowing you to do so! Relapsing is a very real thing.” I was about to roll my eyes, but he stopped me right there. He added, “Look, I’m not trying to be controlling over you. I’m saying this because you have your whole life ahead of you and you need to be able to experience it. The only way you’ll do that is if you learn to love yourself.”

“Love myself?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed. “But...I don’t know if I can.”

He asked, “Do you feel as if you don’t deserve it?” I muttered a “kinda” as a response. “And why do you feel that way?”

I sighed. “I don’t know...maybe it’s because of how people have treated me when I was growing up. I almost always sat alone at lunch or the band room because nobody could accept the fact that I’m gay, and being raised by my two uncles didn’t make it any better. People thought I was disgusting for it. Even some of my teachers.” I continued, “Well, there were a few people who didn’t have a problem with me being the way I am. But everyone else did. I felt like a broken outcast.”

Aiden replied, “There’s the problem right there. You worry too much about what other people think about you. What other people think shouldn’t matter to you because those thoughts are theirs alone and not yours. As long as you think well of yourself, the garbage that spews from others’ mouths won’t matter.” He chuckled. “I mean, I was bullied a bit in school myself. People knew me as the ‘gay snobby rich boy’. I didn’t care then, and I sure don’t care now because it wasn’t true. All I did was give them witty comebacks that they had to think hard about later.” Aiden added, “Oh yes, Nick. I’m a smart Aleck.”

“I bet that pissed everyone off.”

He nodded. “Yep. Sure did. I even almost got detention a few times for it.” He added, “But that’s beside the point. You’re a good person, Nick, and I want you to realize that. After I drop you off at your house, go in your room and find some paper and something to write with. There’s something that I need for you to do.”

I asked, “What do you want me to do?”

“For starters, write down all the negative thoughts and feelings you have, and I mean all of them. After you do that, I want you to rip up the paper, crumple it up, and throw it away,” Aiden said. “Then write down all the positive thoughts and feelings you have and stick it on your wall so you can look at it every day. Trust me, it works. I’ve done that myself.”

I don’t know if it’ll work, but I’ll try it out. I’m not sure how writing everything down helps me any. I asked him, “How do you know about that stuff?”

He answered, “My mother’s a therapist and she suggests that for all of her clients who think badly of themselves. Especially to her younger ones.” I nodded as if to say I understand. Aiden asked me, “I’m not looking to be nosy, but have you ever been to a therapist before?”

“Well, yeah, I have. Not that it really helped me much,” I said. “It’s probably because the one I had was trying to fix me like I was broken or something.” Aiden cleared his throat and drove the car back on the road again. I added with a laugh, “It was at the mental hospital I had to go to. They don’t give a damn about you there. All they want is their paychecks. They don’t care about their patients at all; they just act like they do, but in reality, they couldn’t care less.”

Aiden sighed quietly and then let out a soft chuckle. “I won’t say you’re not right about that, Nick; however, there are people who do work at facilities like the one you had to go to who care deeply about the patients they’re helping. My mother is a great example of that. I think you’d be able to connect with her more if it ever came down to it.” He turned to me briefly, took my hand, and kissed the top of it. He added, “But you’ll be just fine, I promise. If you ever need someone to talk to for whatever reason, you’re more than welcome to give me a call, come to my room, whatever you need to do. Heck, if you ever wanted to, you could come to my house.” Oh my god, he has a house? How much money does this guy have? Not that it’s any of my business. I bet he has a pristine house. Aiden asked me, “Do you like cats?”

I nodded. “Yes! I love them! I have a couple myself.” Well, they’re technically mine, but physically, they’re my uncles’. One is white with black spots on his face and black patches on his body and his name is Jester, and the other is white with some orange spots on her face and some patches on her body and her name is Sugar. I added, “Mine are named Jester and Sugar. How about yours?” 

He said, “Well, I have three of them. Their names are Willow, Venus, and Diamond. Venus is the oldest one at eight, Diamond is six, and Willow’s just a kitten.”

“I wonder what they look like.”

Aiden replied, “Venus is a Russian Blue, Diamond is completely white, and Willow is a Chocolate Point Siamese. I have some pictures of them on my desk if you’re interested at looking at them sometime.” He added, “Yes, all three of them are girls and they get along just fine. They love people. Bet they’d love you too.”

I laughed. “I bet they would. Jester and Sugar are pretty social too. Sugar’s a little shy though, but she warms up easily.” I asked him, “What do you do exactly besides be a history teacher?”

He said, “Oh, I thought you’d never ask. It’s a little too complex to explain, but what I do is train high school students who want to have steady jobs in the future.” I never knew he liked helping people so much. Maybe it has a lot to do with his upbringing. Aiden asked me, “How about you, Nick?”

“I babysit for the Ross family,” I answered. It’s true. I babysit on the side because I like being able to do things besides sit around my house and do basically nothing. I added, “They have a son whose name is Ryan. He’s about to turn eight soon and he’s the sweetest little boy. He has a lot of issues though.”

Aiden replied sadly, “Terribly sorry to hear that, dear.”

I shrugged. “It’s alright. He can still function. He’s bipolar, has extreme anxiety, his mood swings and panic attacks are terrible, and he has issues sleeping because of it. Plus he has all these medications to take and it’s bad if he doesn’t take them all. I feel horrible for little Ryan...but he’s pretty resilient, so that’s good.” I continued, “The little guy had a full-blown panic attack while I was watching him the other day. The only thing that could calm him down was me holding him like he was a baby and rocking him because he would’ve kept on crying if I didn’t. But he’s a very well-behaved kid.”

“Not a lot of people could handle a little boy like him. I applaud you for being as patient as you are with him. I think it’s great.”

The only reason I can really connect with him is that I have a bunch of mental and emotional issues too. Plus, I just like kids. Plain and simple. Kids are a lot of fun. I guess that’s why I decided to become a teacher in the first place. After we ordered some coffee, we stayed in the car to just keep getting to know each other because I really like Aiden and think he’s a great person. Maybe good enough to be my boyfriend. Well, I don’t know if my uncles are going to like that too much, especially because he’s eight years older than me, but I know that they’ll accept him. I took out a slip of paper and a pen to write my phone number on it so I can give it to him. As I gave him the slip of paper, I said, “Here’s my number, Aiden. So we can talk whenever we want.”

Aiden gently took the paper and asked, “Are you being serious right now? This is quite the gesture, Nick.”

“Totally,” I said quietly. “Y-You know, I really like you, Aiden.”

He replied, “I adore you too, dear. Such a sweet and kind-hearted young man. Not to mention you are just the cutest thing ever. Almost can’t stand it.” I was tempted to ask him to kiss me, but I didn’t want to sound desperate or weird. It seems like Aiden could read my mind and he kissed me smack on my lips. Boy, was I speechless. He said to me, “You are too easy to read, darling. I know you wanted a kiss. Why didn’t you say anything?”

I replied, “I didn’t want to come off weird or desperate.” Even though I honestly am a bit desperate for a boyfriend. The last one I had left me for some prostitute, so I’ve been alone for a while. Guys who like other guys are pretty difficult to find because a lot of them are still in the closet. There’s still that ‘gay is bad’ stigma, so I can see why they’d stay in there. I asked timidly, “Is it okay if we do it again?” Aiden nodded and I went right in, making out with him. My god, that’s pretty fucking bold of me, but this guy has been tempting me all day. Why not? You only live once. I pulled away from Aiden to look out the window to see people taking pictures with their phones and recording videos of us. I rolled down the window to say to them, “Hey, leave us alone, why don’t you? This is what love looks like. Try it sometime.” When one of the people shouted the word “pedophile”, I lost it and wanted to beat them to a pulp. Aiden said to me:

“Nick, they’re not worth it. I’ll take care of this.”

One of the kids was in shock. He said, “Oh shit...Mr. Steele...I-I didn’t say anything.”

Aiden replied, “Yes, you did, Brian. You just shouted the word ‘pedophile’. Do you even know what the word means?” Brian shrugged. “It’s a person who’s attracted to children. Now, I’m not attracted to children, Brian. Just because I’m attracted to Mr. Slavic, it doesn’t mean that I’m a pedophile.”

Brian insisted, “But he’s sixteen!”

“That doesn’t matter to me. He’s old enough to make his own decisions. And besides, the age of consent is sixteen. He’s the only sixteen year old I’ve ever been attracted to.”

Oh my god, people are so stupid. I got out of the car to attempt to confront them, but Aiden shook his head and told me, “Nick, no. I’m not looking to get you fired the first week of school. You need to stay in the car and calm yourself down.” I sighed in defeat and sat back down in the passenger’s seat fuming. Aiden said to the group of kids, “Oh, and before you try to get me fired, I will have you know that you will not succeed in doing so. Good day.” When he got back to the car, I was still fuming at the group of kids who called him a pedophile. He sighed and told me gently, “Nick, please settle down. Getting angry at a group of kids isn’t going to do you any good.”

I asked him, “Why shouldn’t I be angry? They called you a fucking pedophile because you’re with me!” I breathed in and out sharply. “I want to wring their necks, but I can’t.” I stomped my feet on the floor in the car and shouted, “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” Aiden busted up laughing. I added, “W-What’s so funny? Why are you laughing at me?”

Aiden replied, “Nick, you have a mouth on you. I didn’t expect for you to be cursing like a sailor.”

“Sorry.”

He shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize for expressing your feelings, sweetheart. I understand that you’re very frustrated right now.”

I replied, “I’m not frustrated. That’s just putting it lightly. I’m pissed off. They shouldn’t be talking to you like that. You’re a teacher, for fuck’s sake! Teaching is one of the hardest jobs ever and they should not be taking advantage of you like that.” I sighed heavily. “My god, they’re so goddamn stupid, it amazes me.”

Aiden said to me lowly, “Yes, you are right about that, Nick. Being a teacher is a very difficult job. I get that you’re upset, and you have every right to be; however, those kids are not worth your frustration and it’s unnecessary to get into squabbles that involve me. They’re children. Their brains aren’t fully developed yet. As a matter of fact, yours isn’t fully developed either.” He added, “If they say things like that, take it with a grain of salt. It’s miniscule and childish. It’s their own problem if they want to assume that I’m a pedophile for being attracted to you.” 

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be getting all upset over the little things. It’s not worth it.”

He nodded. “Now you get it. By the way, I enjoy that fire you have in you.”

“I love how calm you are, Aiden.”

“Nick, tu es très mignon.” Wait...what? What did he say to me? God, I’m stupid. Something about a filet mignon? I don’t know. Aiden said, “You’re very adorable. That’s what I said.” He continued, “Now you need to collect yourself and breathe. High blood pressure’s no laughing matter, dear.” I closed my eyes and thought of something super dirty, which made me giggle like a schoolgirl. The next thing I know, Aiden’s laughing too because of me. “What’s so amusing to you, Nick?”

I said bluntly, “It’s nothing funny. I was thinking of something sinful...and it involves you and me.” I expected him to be shocked, but he just brushed it off like it was nothing. I added with a smirk, “C’mon, Steele. You know I’m an innocent and pure angel on the surface, but I’m still a horny teenager.”

Aiden replied, “We literally just met today and you already want to have sexual relations with me?”

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.” I backed off him and covered my face in shame.

He shook his head. “No, Nick, it’s okay. You didn’t offend me. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” This man looked at me dead in the eyes and his just pierced mine. “However, I did notice you looking at my manhood quite a bit. I’ve been looking at you too, you know. I like to have something to hold and squeeze.” Man, when am I going to hear him talk dirty? But just looking at him...listening to his smooth voice...it made me so hot and bothered. Aiden asked me, “You’re almost as red as your hair. Do you need some assistance?” I shrugged because I didn’t know how else to respond. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a soft, gentle kiss. I think this will keep my urges at bay for now. Until I’m home, in my room, door locked, and the music turned up loud, that is. I decided to kiss him back until one of us pulled away. I don’t remember which one of us did exactly, but whatever. It was a very nice kiss. Tasted like cinnamon and white chocolate with a hint of bitter coffee. You can guess which one was mine and which one was Aiden’s. There was silence between us for a little while until Aiden said, “Let’s get you home, Nick.” I want to go home so I can relax, but at the same time, I want to stay with Aiden. I gave him the directions to my house and we were there. I thanked him and he replied, “It’s not a problem, dear. You have a nice rest of your day and sleep well tonight.”

I smiled. “Thanks. You have a nice rest of your day too, Aiden.” I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, grabbed my things, and walked up the driveway. Once I got into the house, I saw Aiden driving away to go back to his house. I bet it’s super nice and pristine...like him. Well, minus the cat hair that must fly around sometimes because he has three of them. I saw my uncle Stephen in the kitchen preparing something for dinner. Unlike my Uncle Tyler, who’s pretty slim, Stephen is chubby and he wears glasses sometimes. Mostly when he’s reading something like the newspaper or a magazine. I greeted him. “Hi, Uncle Stephen. I’m home.”

Uncle Stephen looked back at me and gave me a big hug. “Oh, there’s my sweet little Pumpkin! How was your first day?”

“It was really good,” I replied with a big dorky grin across my face. The look in his eyes told me that he knows what’s up. Just the way his gray eyes gleam says it all. He asked me:

“Nicky, baby, did you meet a cute boy today? You seem awfully happy today.”

I nodded and my face was as warm as the coffee I drank earlier. Uncle Stephen squealed. “OMG, your face is red like that hair on your head, sweetie! What’s his name?” I’m honestly a bit scared to tell him because of the age gap between Aiden and me. I don’t know if he’ll be okay with it. I can’t imagine how Uncle Tyler’s going to feel about that. He said, “Honey, you can tell me. I won’t get mad.”

I sighed, bit the bullet, and just flat-out told him. “The guy I met today...his name is Aiden and he’s one of the teachers at the high school.” His eyes widened. I added, “Now before you freak out, this guy’s not a creepy pedo and he’s not as old as you think he is. He didn’t hurt me, I promise you, Uncle Stephen.”

He smirked. “How old is this man you’ve got your eyes on?”

My voice was quiet when I answered, “He’s twenty-four. Aiden’s such a gentleman too. I love him already and we just met today.” I continued, “Uncle Stephen, I know you and Uncle Tyler will love Aiden. He’s got so much class...I think I might have found the one. I know it’s weird that we’re eight years apart, but we both love each other and we can make it work.” I noticed that my uncle was a little uncertain about it, but he eventually said:

“Nicky, I know you love him, but you need to listen to me. This man is eight years older than you. You need to be careful. I don’t want this man to take advantage of you. You are a teenager. You still have a lot to learn about the world, baby.”

I nodded. “I won’t let him take advantage of me...and I would never take advantage of him either.”

Uncle Stephen replied, “I know you’d never do such a thing. You’re too sweet and kindhearted...but you are a feisty little guy.”

“Are you okay with me dating Aiden or no?”

He said, “You know I’ll support you through anything, baby boy.” Just when I was about to ask when Uncle Tyler was going to come home, I heard him coming in the door. Uncle Stephen said to him, “Hi, Ty! How was your day at work?” Uncle Tyler’s pretty soft-spoken but firm. He replied:

“Same ol’ shit. Always afraid the boss is gonna fire me for being gay. How about you, Steph?”

Stephen answered, “Oh, honey, he can’t do that. That’s against the law. But I’ve been okay.” He gave me a playful nudge. “Nicky has the hots for a cute guy.” Oh no. What did he do? He shouldn’t have said anything to Tyler about it. He’ll be pissed. I hope he knows that.

As my Uncle Tyler was fixing his glasses, he asked me, “What’s this guy’s name?”

I gulped. “Aiden. His name’s Aiden. He’s one of my coworkers.” Oh my god, if he tries to hurt Aiden, I swear. 

“He’s not some sleazy pedo, is he?”

Uncle Stephen stepped in for me. “Not at all, honey. Aiden’s a very classy gentleman and he’s treating little Nicky very well.” Uncle Tyler just looked at me and then back at Stephen. He said, “Tyler, he’s not going to hurt him, I promise.”

“I understand that, Stephen. It doesn’t help that we had to deal with every single boy who’s hurt Nick,” Tyler replied coldly. He turned to me and said lowly, “Nicholas, if that Aiden guy hurts you in any way, so help me, his ass is grass. Do you understand me?” I nodded. I hate it when he addresses me by my full name. ‘Nicholas’. That name makes me cringe. He added, “Good. Maybe we’ll have him over for dinner sometime this week so we can get to know him a little bit better.”

I replied, “Uncle Tyler, Aiden’s a good man. I promise, when you meet him, you’ll agree with me!” 

 

Filler is done. Unless you want me to continue in the next chapter, of course.

 

*Blake’s POV*

 

My summer so far has been spent volunteering part-time at the animal shelter my mom and dad own, playing some video games (of course), and hanging out with my friends. Maybe even trying to spend some time with my brother if I can. He’s been really stand-offish ever since a couple of his friends were in the hospital for some reason. I don’t know why they were in there, and I don’t think my brother Brent’s going to tell me anytime soon. I went over to his room and knocked on the door. “Brent, it’s Blake. Can I come in?” I heard him say that I could and I went in to see him just hanging out with Spencer. I said, “Hi.” My brother’s birthday is coming soon and I hope he’s not all down in the dumps by then.

“What do you need, little man?” Spencer asked me.

I replied, “I just wanted to see how my brother was doing. He’s been acting weird lately and I want to know if he’s okay.” That was when I heard my brother’s response. He said:

“I’m okay, little bro! Don’t worry about me!”

“You sure, Brent? Because Dad noticed that you haven’t done anything besides work, go out, and sleep,” I said out of concern. I added, “And you’ve been sleeping a lot. Haven’t been eating much either.”

Brent sighed. “Blake, I have a lot on my plate right now and everything’s been stressing me out to the point where I don’t want to do anything.”

I asked him, “Do I have anything to do with it?”

“Of course not. It has nothing to do with you,” he replied. He continued, “Ryan and Spence have a lot to do with it. Especially Ryan. You know that as well as I do.” What? I’ve never really seen Ryan over here as much as I see Spencer. I wonder why that is.

“What’s wrong with Ryan, Brent?”

He put his head in his hands. “Blake, I’m gonna try to tell you this in a way that I know you can understand.” Brent sighed. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but...Ryan has a lot of problems.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by ‘problems’?”

“He has a lot of mental problems...some physical ones too, but they don’t amount to the mental problems he has,” he said. “You see, Blake, Ryan has to take medicine to help him feel better. Just like how sometimes when you have a cold and you take medicine for it so you feel better. It’s the same idea...except he has to take it every day.”

“Is Ryan gonna be okay? What happened to him and Spencer? Why did they have to go away, Brent?” I know I must be really pushing it. His patience is growing thin.

Brent replied lowly, “Ryan is mentally ill. He has to take all that medicine for the rest of his life. So he’s never gonna be truly okay unless he keeps taking the meds. Now….about what happened to him and Spence. They had to go away for a little while.”

I asked, “But why? They didn’t do anything wrong, did they?” I asked Spencer, “Why did you and Ryan have to go away?” 

Spencer said, “Kiddo, I don’t really remember why I had to go, but I know that I was there for a while. I was so doped up that the memory of what happened that night is really fuzzy.” He continued, “But...what I’m going to tell you isn’t something that you’d like to hear. Remember having dinner at Ryan’s house?” I nodded. Mrs. Ross is a really good cook and she’s really pretty too. Mr. Ross kinda scares me a bit, but he’s okay, I guess. Spencer said bluntly, “Ryan tried to kill himself that night. He’s gotten bullied a lot in school and at home, so he thought that it would be best if he’d just end his pain.” My eyes went wide and my mouth dropped in shock. It’s not like Ryan to do this. He continued, “See, kid, that guy’s like a brother to me. We’ve known each other since we were little. I didn’t wanna lose him...and I said some things that disturbed some people, which is why the both of us ended up having to go away.”

Brent whispered, “Spencer! Why the fuck did you tell him that? Now he’s gonna have nightmares for a week.”

He said, “He’s thirteen, Brent! Not five years old. He’s old enough to handle it. He wanted to know, so I told him.”

I added, “I stopped having nightmares years ago.” Is he losing his memory? I’m super worried now. He usually doesn’t forget things like that. Brent got up hastily and walked out of the room. I don’t know where he’s going, but I hope he’s okay. I asked Spencer, “You’ve noticed him acting weird too, huh?”

Spencer nodded. “Sure have...and it’s all my fault.”

“No, it isn’t. You don’t really remember what happened, so how can it be your fault that Brent’s not being himself?” 

“Because I feel bad, Blake! I feel like I caused this!”

 

*Brent’s POV*

 

I feel really nauseous and lightheaded. Plus my head is throbbing. I don’t know why. Oh yeah, it’s because I’ve been worrying about Ryan and Spencer. Brendon too, but he’s the least of my worries at the moment. I knelt down over the toilet and heaved up everything and anything that was in my stomach. Now that I mention it, I don’t remember what I ate. Fuck, my memory’s getting really bad. After a dreadful half hour of heaving, I felt awful, but I didn’t want to put anything in me. I’m afraid this will happen again if I do. I heard someone knocking on the door and I groaned. I said groggily, “Blake, please leave me alone right now. I don’t want you to see me like this.” 

“Brent, I’m getting really worried! Dad is too! Do you want me to call him?”

I replied, “No...don’t call him. Please don’t. He doesn’t need to be stressed out because of me.” I felt nauseous again and threw up, coughing afterwards. I quickly flushed the evidence because who wants to be in a bathroom that reeks of puke? The door opened and I saw my brother and Spencer standing right there, looking at me in horror. I said, panting, “I’m so sorry...I’ve been worrying so much about Spence and Ryan...and I’ve been pushed to my limit.”

Spencer came over to my side and held onto me. “Brent, I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault...I shouldn’t have been so fucking selfish...I did this to you and I’m sorry!” What? What’s he talking about? He continued, “I was too busy thinking about Ryan and I didn’t think about how that would affect you. Brent, I’m sorry. I feel like shit for wanting to kill if Ryan were to die...I know that scared you.”

I patted his back. “Hey...you didn’t do anything to hurt me. Why would you think you did?”

“Because I feel bad.” 

“Well, don’t. You and Ryan didn’t do shit to me. I stressed myself out to the point where I haven’t been acting like myself. This is my own doing.” Just then, my dad walked in the door. I hope he’s not worried about me or Blake. When he walked over to where we were, I said, “Hi, Dad.”

The look in his eyes said that he was worried about me. He asked me, “You’ve been stressing yourself out, haven’t you?” Oh my god, he knows. Well, I did mention it before to him, but it wasn’t as bad then. My dad said, “You need to quit, Brent. You’ll end up on fucking blood pressure meds if you don’t.”

I began, “Dad, let me explain…” He cut me off.

“Brent, I have heard the whole story out of you before. Now you need to quit worrying about Spencer and Ryan. They’re fine now.”

My voice was quiet when I said, “I kind of have to worry about them. They’re my friends.” I washed my mouth out with the tap water in the bathroom sink, pulled out a stick of gum, and added, “Look, I know you’re stressed because of Mom and a bunch of other things, and I shouldn’t add any more to that. I’m sorry I said anything.” I put the stick of gum in my mouth and chewed it to get the disgusting acidic taste out of my mouth.

He replied, “Your mother is fine. She’s not who I’m concerned about at the moment. It’s you I’m concerned about. Your brother noticed the change in you. Is there something else you’re not telling me?” I shrugged. My dad asked, “Anxious about turning seventeen?” I shook my head. He sighed. “Brent, I know that them having to go to a mental institution really messed with you. I get that. But that’s then and this is now. You have got to stop dwelling on it. They’re better now.”

I held onto Spencer. “I still can’t believe Ryan would try to do that though. Sure he used to cut, but trying to overdose on sleeping pills? That’s crazy. He seemed happy at first. I don’t know what happened.” 

Spencer said to me, “Ari telling him to go kill himself has a lot to do with it.”

I glared at him. “Spence, she’s been fucking with him ever since I met you guys. He needs to stand up for himself and beat the shit out of her. I know he can fight.”

“He’d have to be off his meds to do that. Plus he’d get in serious trouble if he did decide to fight her,” he said. “But I know Danielle would help him out.” God, thinking about her drives me nuts. Her soft, thick dark hair...those big doe eyes...body as curvy as a cello...fuck. Spencer noticed how glazed my eyes must look and laughed. “What’re you thinking about?”

I giggled. “I can’t say right now, but you probably know.” Spencer walked out to the living room and I followed him. “You have to leave or something?”

Spencer nodded. “Yeah, I gotta go back to Ryan’s.” He said to my dad and my brother, “I gotta go. I’ll see you guys around.” I walked with him out to his car and I noticed a gleam in his eyes when he motioned me to come over to him. He smirked. “One more thing before I go.” Spencer held my face in his hands and made out with me. When he pulled away, he said, “I’ll see you later.” 

I have no idea what that was, but I think this is a sign...


	7. Making Peace

*Patrick’s POV*

 

Man, it’s blazing hot out. I can’t believe Pete can still wear skinny jeans and a hoodie, especially when it’s hot outside. Maybe he’s just comfortable in it. I don’t know. We’ve been hanging out with Hayley and a couple of her friends a lot, and while it’s been nice hanging out with some people I can call my friends, something about what they like to do is a little fishy. I knew that Pete would ditch a lot to get high or whatever, but now that we’re not in school, he does it whenever he wants. Sometimes I get dragged into it. I don’t get high with them though. I asked Pete, “Did you hear anything about Ryan or any of his friends at all?”

Pete shrugged. “Last I heard about him was that he was in a mental hospital with that Spencer kid. I think they’re out now, but I’m not sure.”

I replied sadly, “Oh yeah. I heard about that too. Poor guy.” I noticed a couple of the teachers from the school hanging out at the park we were going to. It looks like it’s Mr. Slavic with someone. His red hair and the suspenders are a dead giveaway. I called out, “Hey! Mr. Slavic!” I ran over to see him and he seemed to be doing pretty well. He said:

“Hiya, Patrick! What’re you doing out here?”

The guy who was next to him asked him, “Who’s this, Nicky? One of your students?”

Mr. Slavic said, “Aiden, this is Patrick Stump. He was in the same class with Ryan.” I politely waved. He introduced the guy next to him to me, “Patrick, this is my fiancé Aiden. He teaches AP American history. You might know him as Mr. Steele.” Fiancé?! I didn’t know he was with anyone. Well...I did notice the ring on his right hand, but I never asked questions about it.

I said to him, “Hi, Mr. Steele. I didn’t know you two were together. That’s pretty cool.” Mr. Steele fixed the sleeves on his plain button-down shirt and smirked at me. He replied in a sophisticated tone:

“Nick and I have been together for eight years, Patrick. You never noticed?”

I shook my head. “N-No, sir. I haven’t. I mean...Mr. Slavic never really mentioned anything about having a fiancé.”

Mr. Steele said, “He was always scared to mention anything about being with me because he’s afraid the school will fire the both of us for being in love.”

Mr. Slavic added, “Some of the school board is homophobic, Patrick. I mean, everyone knows that I’m gay...but if they find out that I’ve been with one of my co-workers for eight years, they’d hit the roof.”

My eyes widened. “Is it really that serious? I mean, I don’t have a problem with you two being together. I think it’s cute. You guys seem to have really good chemistry.” This is a little bit new to me. I never knew that one of my favorite teachers was gay. Not that it’s a bad thing. I just thought it was interesting. I mean, he kind of gave off the vibes of being gay, but he never really told us that he was. The only person who knows about it is Ryan, of course. They’ve known each other for a long time. I asked them, “So...when are you guys gonna get married?”

“When same-sex marriage is legal...or we can just get married in another state. It’s not a top priority right now. We still have to teach, you know,” he replied. Mr. Slavic noticed my group of friends over at a bench not too far from where they are. He said to me, “I think your friends want you to go with them. You have a nice day.” I nodded and went over to where my friends were.

Hayley giggled. “Funny running into a couple teachers in the park.” She gasped. “Oh my god, is that Mr. Steele with Mr. Slavic?”

I laughed. “Yeah. That’s them. They’re cute together, aren’t they?”

Pete flipped his bangs out of his face and scoffed. “You didn’t know they were together?” He added, “Trick, everyone knows they’ve been together for a long time.” Well, how come I was the last to know? He asked me, “But that’s not important. Umm...have you ever tried pot?” I shook my head. Pete laughed. “Figured that, Mr. Goody Two Shoes.”

“N-No, it’s not that! I-I just don’t want my parents to find out is all!” I said out of defense. I added, “Well...I’ve thought about it, but I know my parents would have a fit and call me a juvenile delinquent.” I would’ve thought that Gerard would take my side, but he didn’t. He chimed in.

“Juvenile delinquent? You’re the furthest thing from one, Patrick. Like that Ryan Ross kid.”

I replied, “Hey, Ryan’s really nice! Sure he has...well...specific needs, but he’s not as bad as people make him out to be.”

Gerard shrugged. “Never said anything bad about him. I’m just sayin’ you two aren’t even close to being delinquents.” He added, “But the one in that group who’s technically one is that Brent Wilson guy.” Oh yeah. He ditched a lot sophomore year. That doesn’t really make him a bad guy though. I mean, everyone ditches at one point or another. He nodded. “Yeah. He’s the one who ditched a whole bunch the year before last. Don’t worry though. I did too.”

“Well, I guess you’re right.” I smiled. “But I’m not fixing to get high with you guys. I’ll hang out with you though.”

Hayley said, “Who said anything about getting high? We don’t even do that very often.” She added, “I know you like Pete, Trick. Like, really like him.” I blushed. I guess I have gotten pretty close to him. I don’t know if he likes me back. My mind went back to the day I finally snapped at Mr. Zakowski and Pete was being super nice to me. If you count him pushing me up against the wall and kissing my neck and stuff being nice. Hayley giggled. “You’re blushing! You like Pete! You like Pete!”

I laughed. “I guess I do...he’s really nice to me. Nobody’s ever been that nice to me before.” Pete seemed to have heard me and he started laughing. I blushed bright red and covered my face in embarrassment. “Oh shoot! I-I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” Pete came over and brushed his hand against my flushed cheek. 

“I know you like me, Patrick. No need to hide it.” Pete smirked. “I like something to squeeze.” Did he rip on me for my weight or did he compliment me? He whispered, “That’s a compliment. I wasn’t tryin’ to insult you, nerd boy.”

Ugh! Why does he keep calling me “nerd boy”? Jeez, I know I’m smart, but it’s getting annoying. I sighed. “Pete, for the love of god, please stop calling me ‘nerd boy’. It’s getting old.”

Pete smirked. “But you’re my nerd boy. You’re our nerd boy.”

“I don’t care. I don’t like being called that. It’s really getting on my nerves and I would appreciate it if you would stop.”

He groaned. “Fine!” I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Pete looked at me surprised. It’s like he’s never been kissed by a guy before. Well, that’s what it looks like to me. He said, “Wow...umm...I guess you learn new things everyday.” He asked, “Is there something you’d like to tell me, Trick?”

I replied, “I really like you, Pete. You’re so nice to me. Nobody’s ever been as nice to me as you have been.”

“How about that Ryan Ross kid? Am I nicer to you than he is?”

I gulped. “W-Well, Ryan’s always been super nice to me...it’s different with you. I mean, sure Ryan’s sweet and all, but you don’t seem to have as much baggage as he does.”

Pete nodded. “You can’t assume that because I handle things differently that I don’t have my own baggage. I mean, I’ve been bullied a lot for being biracial and a lot of other things. I don’t have a bunch of meltdowns and get sick like Ryan does, that’s for sure.”

“The thing is that he has a lot of things wrong with him so his only reaction is to melt down or get sick. That’s not his fault.”

He laughed. “Patrick, man, he’s as thin as paper and sensitive like cotton. I’m honestly amazed that his boyfriend and his friends can deal with him. Same with Slavic.”

I shrugged. “Mr. Slavic’s known Ryan ever since he was little, so it’s not surprising that he can deal with him.” Our teacher has told us a bunch of stories about when he first started teaching and that he babysat Ryan a lot on the side too. The shade of red that Ryan’s face would turn was always priceless. I continued, “They’re so much alike too.”

Pete replied, “They’re pretty similar in a lot of ways. I’ll give you that. Sometimes I see Ryan with his mom talking to Slavic.”

“Speaking of that, I’ve never really seen his dad...well, except for a few months ago. Is he just not always in the picture or what?” That’s always been a little weird to me. I know Pete will probably tell me if he knows anything about it. I asked, “Pete, do you know anything about his dad or no?”

He shrugged. “Ryan never really talked about his dad too much, but when he does, it’s always like ‘Oh, he beat me because of this, this, and that.’ and a whole shit ton of drama.” Thankfully my parents aren’t like that. Pete added, “I do feel bad for him and hope everything’s better.” 

I decided to say something, but I’m sure that I’m going to come off really mean. I sighed. “Pete, you literally talk about Ryan like you hate him or something. What’d he ever do to you? Sure he’s got a lot wrong with him, but that’s not his fault.”

“The kid annoys me, ‘kay?” he replied in a snippy tone. Pete groaned. “My god, do I have to like someone who I don’t fucking like?” He turned to Gerard and Hayley, who weren’t paying any attention to our conversation. He said, “Gee, Hayley, back me up here.” 

I insisted, “Pete, I never said you had to like Ryan.”

Pete scoffed. “It sure came off that way. He’s a spoiled brat. Hell, he’s got a few of the teachers at the school wrapped around his finger. My god, he just acts like he’s so perfect and it annoys me.”

Gerard intervened. “Sounds like you’re jealous.” He continued, “Don’t worry. You don’t have to love Ryan or anything like that. You just gotta tolerate him. One of these days, you guys will be working together. You’ll grow pretty attached to each other and become friends.”

He laughed. “Like that’s gonna happen. If I can’t handle him now, how am I supposed to handle him a few years down the road?” Well, I hate to admit it, but Pete kind of has a good point. I really don’t understand what’s so bad about Ryan that he just hates him. I noticed Ryan coming over here with Spencer and Brendon. Ryan waved at us and Pete just waved back with a “Oh my god, go away” look on his face. Pete asked him casually, “What’s going on, guys?”

Ryan replied, “Oh, nothing really. Spencer and I got out a few days ago.” He asked, “What about you?”

“Good to hear. Umm...I’ve been looking at colleges and writing some things lately,” Pete said. He added, “Ryan, I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.” 

He smirked. “I already know, Pete. You don’t like me. You think that I’m an annoying, spoiled crybaby who has a few teachers wrapped around my finger and that I’m incapable of handling things. You also claim to only tolerate me because of Nick and that you’re afraid of what he will do to you if you cross me.” Ryan asked, “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

Pete gulped. “My god, were you eavesdropping the whole time or did you know about this all along?”

Ryan giggled and said, “You don’t seem to understand what I’m capable of, Pete. I hear your conversations with Nick when I’m setting up the chairs for the day. I have great hearing.” He sat on the table. “You know, Pete, you could’ve just said that you don’t like me instead of pretending to be nice to me. Then I wouldn’t be here having this conversation with you.” I’m honestly shocked. I think that hospital really changed his whole entire attitude and the way he handles people, but I could be wrong. Brendon came over to Ryan and told him:

“Babe, come on. Don’t do this.”

Pete sighed. “Look, Ryan, I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to tell you that I didn’t like you because I felt bad for you. I didn’t want to make whatever you dealt with worse.” He added, “It’s not that I don’t like you. I do. It’s just that you have a lot of baggage and it’s a little too much for me to deal with.” 

Ryan nodded. “Okay, now that’s what I thought.” He smirked and whispered in his ear, “Tell me where Ariana Cher is. I want to ring her neck.”

“I-I don’t know where she’d be,” he replied. “Look, Ryan, I know you don’t like her, but do you really think that beating her up is gonna solve something?” 

 

*Brendon’s POV*

 

“Ryan, baby, you don’t need to be beating up Ari.” I tried to calm him down, but he wasn’t making it very easy on me. I said, “I know she’s been a bitch to you for a long time. Fighting with her isn’t gonna solve anything.” 

Ryan growled. “I want to fucking beat her ass like I should’ve done a long time ago.” He put his hands to his head. “She won’t leave me alone...she just keeps on trying to message me and call me...I’m tired of it!”

I replied calmly, “Babe, you aren’t going to hurt her. If you do, you’ll go to juvie. I don’t want to see you in there.”

He said quietly, “Brendon, I have multiple things wrong with me mentally. They can’t hold that against me.” Ryan added, “They’d just send me back to the hospital. I black out when I don’t act like myself...so how could I be held responsible for what I’ve done when I don’t even remember doing that thing?” Yeah, I remember Brent telling me about Ryan beating up a kid because he kept bothering him, but Ryan doesn’t remember it at all. Obviously, he didn’t get in huge trouble for it. I mean, he didn’t remember anything afterwards. 

“Ryan, it doesn’t really matter right now. You can still go to juvie for beating up Ari.”

Ryan shook his head. “She’s the instigator, so she’d be the one who starts it. I’d be defending myself.” He laughed. “Say, how about we go back to my house and I go over to Ariana’s to pay her a nice visit?”

I looked at him wide-eyed. “No. I know what you mean by paying her a visit, and I’m not allowing it.” I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. I said, “If she puts her hands on you to hurt you, then you defend yourself, but don’t be the one who starts it. Got it?” He nodded. “Good. I don’t want to see you in a cell and have to talk to you through glass.”

“Oh, you won’t have to see me in juvie, sweetheart. I have my ways.” 

 

*A few hours later, Ari’s house*

 

*Ari’s POV*

 

I was getting ready to go with my mom somewhere and we were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. My mom went to go answer it and sure enough, it was the emo kid Ryan. I wonder what he wants. He seems to be pretty warm and welcoming, which is the usual. My mom said to me, “Ariana, there’s someone here who would like to speak to you.” I gave her the “Okay, fine” look and Ryan came in. She asked him, “What do you need to talk to my daughter about? We were just about to leave.”

“I think you may want to sit down for this.” We all sat down at the dining room table, waiting for Ryan to tell us what he wants to discuss. Ryan’s response was blunt and to the point. He said, “Ms. Cher, I’d like to discuss the fact that your daughter told me to go fucking kill myself in the English class we shared together.” My mom looked at me horrified. He continued, “I actually did attempt suicide that night. I had to spend over a month in a mental hospital with my best friend Spencer because what was said that day was my breaking point and I couldn’t take it anymore.” I’m shocked that he actually tried to kill himself. It’s not like I meant it. He added, “If you wanted to know why Spencer was in there with me, it’s for something he said out of fear for my life and out of impulse. I’m not going to go into that.”

I said, “Ryan, I wasn’t being serious. How come you took what I said to heart?” I mean, he did bring up the fact that I slept with a lot of guys. Basically calling me a slut, but whatever. I know I’m a slut. I don’t care.

“How did you expect me to take something as serious as ‘You should go fucking kill yourself, Ryan Ross! Nobody will miss you! Do us all a favor and pull the trigger.’?” he asked, slamming his hands against the table. “Did you expect me to take it as some sick joke?! No! You don’t say things like that and then say you were kidding later. What if I actually died that night? Would you tell my loved ones that you weren’t being serious and it was just a joke? Shouldn’t because none of them would be laughing.” He continued, “Back in seventh grade, you told me to go slit my emo wrists. I did just that, Ariana.” Ryan rolled up his sleeves and showed me the scars on his arms. “I did this because of you. After everything that I have done for you, this is how you repay me. By maliciously harassing me as well as my boyfriend and my friends. What in the ever living fuck did I do to you to deserve that?” 

“That was almost five years ago, Ryan. I’ve changed since then.”

Ryan inhaled sharply. “You didn’t answer my question, Ariana. What did I do to you to deserve all this malicious harassment all these years?” He came up close to me. “Is it because you were angry about your father’s death and you turned to bullying someone who has it worse than you to make yourself feel better? How about the fact that I’m not afraid to call you out on what you’re doing wrong? What is your reason?”

I sighed. “I was jealous. I was jealous of the fact that you still have your dad and I don’t have mine anymore. I didn’t know how to cope with losing him, so I resorted to picking on people who had it worse than I did to make myself feel better.” I continued, “I truly regret everything that I’ve said and done to you and the people you love and care about. I’m very sorry, Ryan. When I heard that you and Spencer weren’t in school anymore, it killed me. I didn’t know what to do with myself then. Nobody else did either.” I looked him dead in the eye. “We thought you guys were dead.”

“So you never really wanted me to die, huh?”

I shook my head. “No. I never wanted you to die or hurt yourself. Ever. It was all jealousy and I’m over that now.” I got up and faced him. I said, “Maybe we can be friends and put this all behind us.”

Ryan nodded, smiling. “Yeah. Maybe we can.” Well, this went better than I thought it would. I honestly thought he was going to beat me to a pulp, but I know him better than that. He said, “You have a nice day, dear.” Then he left and I didn’t see him after that.

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

I pulled into the driveway and walked into my house, feeling proud of myself. I finally made peace with the girl who picked on me since seventh grade and I’ve never felt better. My mom was in the living room talking to Ginger, and of course, my dad’s at work still. He should be coming home in a little bit though. I said, “Mama, I’m home!” I walked over to where she was and I hugged Ginger. “Hi, Ginger. It’s been a while.”

“It’s nice to see that you’re better, Ryan,” she said. “You look much happier.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I feel happier too.” I asked, “How are things for you?”

Ginger replied, “Everything’s fine. Jeff finally cooled his jets and the girls are doing great in school. They asked about you and Spencer a lot. Crys and Jackie really miss you guys.” I’ve missed them too. They’re great kids. A lot of fun too. 

I chuckled. “Cute. Where are those little rascals?” That was when I got ambushed by two little girls. I didn’t get hurt though, but these girls damn near knocked me over. I turned around and laughed. “Hi, girls!” 

Jackie looked up at me and asked, “Ryan, are you feeling better now? Mommy told me and my sister you and Spencey weren’t feeling good.”

Crystal added, “Yeah! We couldn’t see you guys and it made me really sad.”

I got down to their level. “I’m fine, girls. So’s your brother.” I added, “I wanna know how you two are doing.” 

“Well, we’re okay now that we get to see you and our brother.” Crystal hugged me. She asked, “Why did Mommy tell me that you’re sick? Do you need some medicine? I can give you my bubblegum medicine if you’re not feeling good.”

My god, how can I tell her about my condition in a way that she can understand? She’s just a kid. I placed a hand on her shoulder and explained, “Crys, I don’t know if you’ll be able to understand this now, but I’m bipolar. What that means is that I sometimes can’t control how I feel. Sometimes I get really scared and I don’t know why. This causes me to either not be able to sleep like you can or I just sleep for a very, very long time because I don’t feel good.” I continued, “You know how you take medicine when you get a cold to help you feel better? For me, it’s the same idea, except I have to take special medicine every day. It’s really bad when I don’t take all of my medicine. I get very sick and upset.”

She looked at me and gave me the puppy dog eyes. “Is that why Mommy told me and Jackie that you’re sick?” I nodded. Crystal asked me, “Will you ever get better, Ryan?” I shook my head. “Why not?” She went over to Ginger and asked her, “Mommy? Why can’t he get better? Does he have this forever, Mommy?”

Ginger nodded. “He has illnesses in his noggin, Crystal. Ryan can’t get rid of that. He was born with them. When you have something like he does, you can’t make it go away. It stays with you forever.”

Jackie pouted. “That stinks. I feel bad for Spencey’s friend.”

I said, “Don’t feel bad. It’s nothing to feel bad about. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s how I was born. Kind of like how you girls were born with blonde hair and blue eyes.” I hugged the both of them. “It’s just what I have to live with for the rest of my life. Okay? I know it’s something that you can’t understand right now, but when you get a little older, you will.” Then I heard my dad coming in and I popped my head up to acknowledge him. I said to him, “Hey, Dad.”

My dad noticed that Spencer’s mom and his sisters were here, but didn’t pay any mind to it. He said to me, “Hey, Ro. How ya doin’?”

“I’m fine, Dad. I just got home a little while ago,” I replied. I don’t know if I should tell them that I finally made peace with the girl who gave me hell since seventh grade, or to keep my mouth shut about it and save it for another time. I gently nudged my mom. “Mama, Dad’s home.”

She nodded. “I know, Ryan. I hear him loud and clear.” My mom looked at me and she just knew that something went down. She asked, “What happened while you were out, Ryan?”

I began with, “Well...I paid Ari a visit.” I guess in everyone’s book, it means that I fought with her, which I didn’t. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I continued, “Now, Mama, I didn’t hurt her or anything like that. I went over there to speak to her mother about the shit she’s done to me and I finally found out why she was doing all of those horrible things to me.”

My mom sighed. “I bet it’s because she envies you for still having your dad around and she lost hers when she was twelve.”

“How’d you know?”

She replied, “Ryan, I went to school with her mom and we used to be great friends. We still talk, but we’re not as close as we used to be anymore...you know, because we both have kids to take care of and we both have our own lives.” My mom continued, “Christina is her name. She told me that she lost her husband to a disease he had for a very long time, but didn’t know about until it was pulled up from a blood sample he had given to his doctor.” 

Oh my god. It all makes sense now. Still doesn’t give Ari the right to do what she did. I nodded. “Yeah, I remember when she lost her dad. I was the only one who gave her a shoulder to cry on because of it.” I added, “I just don’t understand what I did that was so bad that she treated me like absolute shit.”

My mom placed a hand on my shoulder. “Ryan, you didn’t do anything wrong. Ariana took her anger and resentment out on people to make herself feel better. You didn’t kill her father. The disease he had killed him.” That probably explains why she sleeps around with a bunch of people too. Because she wants something equal to her dad’s love. Well, at least that’s what she told me. With all the times she’s manipulated me, it’s difficult to tell if she’s being genuine or not. She continued, “Ariana knows as well as you do that you did nothing to deserve her being the way she was to you. You forgiving her for all of this and considering being friends with her shows how much of a mature gentleman you are.”

I smiled. “I was raised by the best.” I was taught to forgive and give second chances when they’re appropriate. Sometimes that’s been hard since I can’t really forgive people that easily anyway. But at least I did with Ari and we can try to be friends. I know she’s not horrible. She just doesn’t know how to cope with loss. Still doesn’t excuse her from all the things she did though.

 

*Brent’s POV*

 

I walk into my house like a zombie because I could hardly get any sleep last night. Plus I had to work. Fun. I stumble into my room and shut the door so I can try to sleep a bit. At least I know that everyone’s okay. Coincidentally, I got a text from Ryan saying that he had great news for me.

What’s going on?

Finally got Ariana to apologize to me. We’re gonna try to be friends now.

Wait a minute. He’s actually going to be friends with the bitch who bullied him since the day I met him?! What the fuck? I knew he wouldn’t be able to beat her little face in. Well, he’s way too nice to do that and someone would have to do something really bad for him to even consider it. I tried to think of a way to tell him that without making him upset. I texted back:

Really? Oh, right on. Hope you made the right decision for yourself, man. I don’t want you getting hurt by her again.

Brent, she’s not going to. She already promised me that. I finally know why she did and said all those things to us.

It’s because of her dad, isn’t it?

Yeah...it is. I do understand where she’s coming from though. Her dad had a disease that he didn’t know he had until it came up in a blood sample or something. Pretty messed up.

Look, Ryan, I’m very sorry to hear that about Ariana’s dad and all, but that’s no excuse for her to do the things she does. That especially doesn’t excuse all the shit she’s done to us, including you. Like, my parents got divorced a few years ago and you know how torn up I was over it. But you don’t see me being a dick to people who still live with both of their parents. You also don’t see me sleeping around with a bunch of dudes and chicks because of how empty I feel. As far as I’m concerned, she needs to seek therapy of some kind.

I sat there waiting for him to respond. I thought it’d be best if I were to do some things around the house while I wait, despite me hating to clean. His response was very surprising. I thought he’d take great offense to it, but he actually agreed with me. I know it’s his decision to be friends with Ari, but I just want him to be careful because girls can be vicious. I’d know...considering all the girls I’ve dated. I went back to my room to sleep a bit. Hopefully I won’t get myself sick again. 

 

 

*Blake’s POV*

 

“Brent! We’re home!” I didn’t see my brother come out or anything. He’s probably hanging out with his friends or he’s sleeping again. I walked over to his room to see the door was closed and I heard him snoring. At least I know he’s here. It’s kind of lonely when both my dad and brother have to work and stuff. I said to my dad, “He’s sleeping.”

My dad chuckled. “Figured he’d be hanging out with his buddies. Guess he was too tired to do that.” He added, “Don’t try wakin’ him up now.”

I insisted, “But I wanna see him.”

He said, “Leave him alone for right now. He’ll be more than happy to come hang out with you later.” Speaking of Brent, he stumbled out. My dad looked over and acknowledged him. “Well, hey, sleepy. We were just talking about you.”

Brent yawned and chuckled. “Hey, Dad. Hey, Blake.” He nudged me. “Blake, I was having a nice dream too.”

I laughed. “You can’t just sleep all the time.” I added, “I’m kidding. You can go back to sleep if you want.” Brent nodded off and walked back to his room to sleep. I said to my dad, “Well, he graced us with his presence.”

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

Somehow Aiden was brought up during the conversation and Dad seems to have some sort of grudge against him for some reason. He asked me, “So...did you see your ‘daddy’ today?” I shook my head. He scoffed. “Shame, really.”

Mama said to him, “There’s no need to mock Ryan for something that’s completely normal.”

“You think a teenage boy callin’ his boss ‘Daddy’ is normal, Danielle?” he asked in a snarky way. He added, “Well, I find it fucking disgusting.”

“How so, George?”

Dad replied, “He’s a grown ass man and Ryan is half his age. You don’t find that strange in the slightest?” I don’t know how Aiden’s age is relevant. He’s a good man. I’m sure glad my mom understands that it’s not sexual at all and that it’s harmless. It’s not like I’m into the daddy kink or whatever. I just see Aiden as a father figure and I just so happen to call him ‘Daddy’ sometimes.

Mama said, “So what if Aiden is twice his age? He’s never tried to hurt him and it’s not like he ever would. Aiden doesn’t have an abusive bone in his body, George, and you know that as well as I do.” I saw my dad getting annoyed with my mom trying to reason with him and he decided to pick on me some more.

“Ryan, where did I go wrong with you?” I can’t believe he has the nerve to ask me that. It’s pretty obvious at this point. I’m getting sick of him talking about Aiden like he’s some predator. I know him better than that. My dad muttered, “God, you’re so fucked in the head. Callin’ a grown man ‘Daddy’ like he’s actually your dad. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I said, “Aiden loves me. Not like Brendon or my friends do, but he loves me.”

My dad smirked. “Oh really? This man loves you? He’s twice your age, with someone who’s just as fucking mental as you, and you wanna tell me he loves you?” I’m seething with rage right now. The fact that he brought Nick into it pisses me off.

I balled up my fists under the table and replied sharply, “Yeah! He does!” I got up and continued, “Aiden’s been more of a father to me than you ever have.” Brendon hugged me as if to tell me not to do this. I said to him, “Brendon, honey, I’ve got this.” 

“Baby, enough. I don’t need to see you getting hurt,” he said calmly. Brendon said to my mom, “I’m so sorry. I’m trying to calm Ryan down before he gets himself hurt.”

My dad glared at me and said, “Quit fucking around with that bastard. He only likes you because he wants to split you in two like he does to your pillow-bitin’ band teacher.” I got up and went upstairs to my room, slamming the door behind me. My dad’s only met Aiden once and he has the nerve to tell me that he’s taking advantage of me. I want to cry, but I can’t. Coincidentally, my phone rang and I picked it up.

 

*Aiden’s POV*

 

“H-Hello?” I heard Ryan’s gentle voice on the line. Nick was cuddling our cats Willow and Piper. Diamond was on my lap and Venus was resting on the cat tree we got for them. Just by the tone of Ryan’s voice, I know something’s wrong.

I asked him, “Hello, Ryan. Is everything alright?” 

“No...nothing’s alright, Aiden.”

“What’s troubling you, dear?” I stroked Diamond’s long white fur and she purred in response.

Ryan sighed. “My dad’s been speaking horribly of you. He’s making you out to be some gross predator all because I call you ‘Daddy’.” Like I would care what someone thinks about me. This man can think whatever he wants about me. It just isn’t true.

I chuckled. “Let him talk rubbish, Ryan. What your father thinks about me doesn’t matter to me. At all. He can make me out to be a serial killer and I still wouldn’t care. You know as well as I do that what he says about me is not true.” I cleared my throat. “By caring immensely about what your father thinks about me, you’re allowing him to have power over you. Take what he says with a grain of salt. Besides, the man barely knows me.” 

“You’re right, Aiden. You’re always right,” he said in a pleasant tone. I heard him moan a bit. “My god, you’re so smart.”

I smirked. “You’re quite intelligent yourself, Ryan. Also very beautiful. You’re so much like my darling Nicky. It’s like I have a cute fiancé and a beautiful son to take care of. Not that I would mind.”

Ryan giggled. “I know you’ll be a great dad someday. Any kid would be lucky to have you and Nick as their parents.” He added, “Thank you for listening, Aiden.”

“It’s never a problem, Ryan. You’re more than welcome to come over, if you’d like. I’m sure the girls would love to see you.”

He said, “Okay. I’ll let my mom know. I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

I smiled. “See you soon, dear. Love you.”

“Love you too, Daddy.” 

 

*Some time later…*

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

I walked into Aiden and Nick’s house and was quickly greeted by Venus, Diamond, Willow, and Piper. I can’t believe Venus is as old as me and she’s still the sweet Russian Blue that I met when I was a kid. Diamond is still a gorgeous long-haired white cat at fourteen, Willow has more brown than white on her coat, and Piper is a very hyper calico. My god, I love these cats so much. They’re precious. I looked up and saw Aiden in some very casual clothes and holding a mug. His dark hair was a little ruffled up. It’s a bit eerie because I’ve always seen him in suits and all neat and tidy. He looked at me with the cats and smiled.

“I see you’ve been ambushed by the cats,” he said. I carefully picked up Venus and held her. Aiden added, “Bet you thought I didn’t have Venus and Diamond anymore.” To be truthful, I thought the two older cats died, but I’m glad they’re still here because I know how much that would devastate Aiden if they weren’t. He’s had Venus since he was my age and he got Diamond right after he graduated high school. To think about him losing them kills me.

I nodded, about to tear up. “Yeah...I’m so glad you still have them.” Venus mewed at me and gave me kisses. I smiled. “Still the sweet and loving kitty I met when I was a kid.” I asked, “Where’s Nicky?”

Aiden replied, “Nicky’s just watching television. He had another attack not too long ago, so I’ve been keeping a close eye on him. Closer than I usually do.” I nodded as if to say I understand. I put Venus down and held Diamond, then Willow, and then Piper. I walked over to where Nick was and slowly sat down next to him. He was holding a cup of tea with two hands, his breathing sounded shallow, and his face was streaked with tears. He said to him, “Nicky, it’s just Ryan. He came over to visit.”

Nick nodded. “O-Okay.” He turned to me, put the cup down, and hugged me tightly. “Hi, Ryan. You feeling okay?” I nodded. “Good. I was very worried about you.” Well, at least someone else besides my boyfriend, my mom, and my friends was concerned about me. He said, “Y’know, your dad has a lot of nerve making my fiancé out to be some predator or a pedophile. Not to mention making you feel like garbage for having a harmless crush on him and calling him ‘Daddy’.” Nick added, “Karma will come back to bite him in the ass if I don’t go over and break him first.”

I looked at him wide-eyed. “Nick, I agree that karma’s going to come back on my dad, but I don’t think hurting him is going to solve anything.” Nick’s hands balled up into fists and I felt him shake. I held him close to comfort him like Aiden’s done with me. I whispered gentle sentiments in his ear as an attempt to calm him down. He eventually did, which is good because I know how scary Nick can be when he’s mad. I said to him, “Nicky, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He smiled and rested his head on my shoulder. Diamond came up on the couch to comfort him some more. “Nick, look who’s here.”

Nick looked over at the fluffy white cat and stroked her fur. “Diamond...hi, honey. What’re you doing?” She jumped onto his lap and mewed. Nick smiled. “She’s still got those beautiful green eyes...just like Aiden. Just like her daddy.” Diamond gave Nick kisses with her pink nose and gently licked his face. She knows he’s been crying. He started crying out of nowhere and it kind of startled me. Nick held the cat in his arms, saying, “I don’t want to let you go...not now. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened.”

I comforted him. “Nick, Diamond’s not gonna die anytime soon. She’s only fourteen. She still has a few more years. She’ll probably live to be in her twenties.”

“I-I know, but the thought of us losing Venus and Diamond terrifies me,” he replied. “Aiden’s had Venus since he was your age and had Diamond since he graduated from high school. Those two girls mean so much to him...you have no idea.”

I sighed. “I promise you, Venus and Diamond are gonna be fine. They’re not leaving anytime soon. Don’t worry.”

Nick sniffled. “B-But Venus...she’s gonna be the first to go...Aiden won’t be able to handle it.” Aiden happened to hear the whole thing and he sat down by us. The other three cats came up to see what was going on. He looked at Aiden and said, “I-I don’t want them to go…”

Aiden said calmly, “I know, Nick. I don’t want them to go either, but when it’s their time, it’s their time and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.” 

“But Aiden...I don’t want to let them go.”

He sighed. “Venus and Diamond won’t leave anytime soon. We still have some years left to spend with them.” Aiden placed his hand on Nick’s shoulder. He said, “Willow and Piper are eventually going to leave too someday. It’s a natural part of life, Nick. We’re all going to leave this world someday. Some of us go sooner than others.”

Nick insisted, “Aiden, I know how much those two cats mean to you.” He started sobbing. “You’d be devastated if anything happened to them...they’re your babies. I’ve grown to love them so much...they’ve become my babies too.”

Aiden replied sadly, “Please...I don’t want to think about losing the cats, Nick.” I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Ryan.” I rested my head on his shoulder. He placed his hand on my hip and whispered, “You’re so good with Nick, dear.”

“Sorry if I came at a bad time.” I smiled.

“No, you didn’t come at a bad time. Nicky just gets a bit dramatic sometimes over little things. That’s all.” At least I know that it’s not me. It hurts to see Nick all torn up because of the two older cats, even though they’re still here. Aiden said to him, “Nick, they’re going to be fine. I promise.”

Nick sighed. “I’m sorry, guys. I shouldn’t have gotten so dramatic and emotional over these cats.” Venus walked over to him and started giving him some more kisses. He laughed. “Venus...hi, baby.” I’m here petting Piper. She’s the baby, of course. Nick said, “Piper really likes you, Ry.”

I giggled. “These kitties love everybody...and I love all of them.” I looked at Aiden who was sipping some tea and petting Willow. My god, he makes the casual, relaxing at home look so hot. Is there any look he can’t make work? I don’t know. He’s a hottie and Nick is so lucky to have him. My god, this man sexually frustrates me. Willow jumped off to go sleep on the cat tree and I accidentally looked down at his pajama pants, blushing wildly. Aiden made direct eye contact with me. He asked:

“What was that all about, Ryan?”

I gulped. “U-Umm...I-I was looking to see if Willow was still there...a-and I accidentally looked…” I continued, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to look there.” Aiden chuckled. I asked, “What’s so funny?”

Aiden replied, “You’re so easily flustered, Ryan. It’s amusing.” We were interrupted by someone banging on the door, which rattled all of us. Aiden went to the door and answered it. “Good evening, Mr. Ross.” Oh shit. Why’s my dad here? Does he really think that Aiden’s going to hurt me? Aiden let him in, which made my throat close up and my whole body sweat. I know this is another attack.

My dad asked me, “What the fuck are you doing here, Ryan?” Nick held me close to his body and gently rocked me. He roared, “Answer me, dammit!” I gasped for air and started crying, then passed out in Nick’s arms.

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

“What’s the problem, George? Do you have an issue with Ryan being with us?” I’m curious. I want to know what his issue is. I said, “George, Ryan’s safe here. We didn’t hurt him. We would never do such a thing.”

George said calmly, “I’m sorry. I just worry about my boy a lot.” He added, “Not to mention him calling your fiancé ‘Daddy’ is a bit unsettling for me.” Well, if he treated his son as well as Aiden treats him, he wouldn’t have to call him ‘Daddy’. Just saying.

I shrugged. “What’s the big deal? Aiden doesn’t mind, and neither do I. Ryan just sees him as a paternal figure. There’s nothing the matter with it.”

“Well, he’s a little too young to understand that stuff, Nick.”

I replied, “You don’t know what your son is capable of. He’s much smarter than you think.” I continued, “I understand you’re concerned about Ryan, but he’s a normal teenage boy going through changes and he’s not hurting anybody.” Aiden came back to comfort Ryan until he woke up. I said, “Hey, Ryan...you okay?” He nodded off and looked around.

“What happened?” Ryan asked. He looked at his dad. “Dad…?”

Aiden told him, “You had a panic attack and then passed out from the shock, dear.” He took Ryan from my lap and held him. “You got very scared too. Poor thing.” He added, “Before you apologize, Ryan, it’s not something you need to apologize for. It’s not in your control and these things happen.”

Ryan looked at his dad and said quietly, “I’m sorry, Dad...for being a screwed up kid.” He held onto Aiden. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be calling my employer ‘Daddy’...I have no father figure in my life except for Aiden.” Ryan added, “You weren’t really there, Dad. The times you were even in the house, you were passed out drunk, drinking in the basement, or sleeping. I desperately wanted to spend time with you, but you were always either too busy or too tired.”

“Ro, I’ve been trying to set some time aside for just the two of us,” George said. “Work gets in the way, y’know?”

He replied, “I work too, and I always make sure to spend time with people I love and care about.”

George smirked. “That’s because you don’t have problems with addiction like your old man, Ro.”

Ryan narrowed his eyes. “That may be true, but I have disorders to live with and it sucks. It makes it hard for me to be a normal teenager and do things that a teenager should be doing. Even when I’m feeling like absolute shit, I still spend time with people.” He continued, “I don’t medicate myself with booze, and I don’t know if I ever want to touch a drop of it because I’ve seen what it’s done to you. It’s horrible to watch...I can’t believe I watched it happen for years and couldn’t do anything about it. I feel like it’s my fault.” It’s hard to hear him say something like that. Ryan knows that he wasn’t the cause of his father drinking. How could he think he caused something like that? Ryan sighed. “I guess the day I came out was your breaking point. You wanted a perfect straight boy, but I’ve never had any sort of sexual attraction to girls, let alone a romantic one. I’ve always liked boys, but I was scared to tell you and Mama because of how you’d react.”

His dad gave him a hug. “Why would you think you likin’ boys had anything to do with me drinking? There’s nothing the matter with you being gay. It was just shocking to me hearing you say that when you were in middle school...but I know what that girl did to you crushed your chances of being in love with a girl.”

“Dad, I never liked girls that way to begin with. All those girls I was with...it wasn’t real,” he said quietly. “I feel terrible for it...for telling them I loved them even though I had no romantic attraction to them.” He closed his eyes. “I don’t know if I ever will.”

“You don’t have to, Ro. You can love whoever you want.”

Ryan smiled. “Thank you, Dad.” My god, this is the first time in years that I’ve seen them interact like this. I don’t think I’ve seen them like this since the days I babysat for them. I hope that their relationship can be fixed and be the way it used to be.

 

*To be continued…*


	8. The Domino Effect

*Flashback!*

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

I walked into Aiden’s house and looked at how pristine it is. Man, this guy’s loaded. He’s not even that much older than me and he’s got it made. I’m glad my uncles like him. He’s such a gentleman. Ryan’s with me, so he can keep himself busy with the cats. I was greeted by a fluffy white cat who meowed at me and rubbed itself against my legs. I picked it up and it began to lick my face. Aiden came over to see me bonding with one of his cats. He laughed softly. “I see you just met Diamond.” Oh, that’s right. He said that Diamond was pure white. Aiden got down to Ryan’s level and added, “And you brought someone with you.” He took Ryan’s hand and shook it. “I’m Aiden. Who might you be, little one?”

Ryan replied quietly, “I’m Ryan. Nice to meet you, Mr. Aiden.” He asked him, “Are you Nicky’s boyfriend, Mr. Aiden?”

Aiden nodded. “Of course, Ryan. I love Nicky. And you’re more than welcome to just address me as Aiden, dear. No need to be so formal.” 

“My mama says to be polite to people and use my manners,” he said with a soft laugh. Ryan looked at him with a sad expression. “My dad thinks gay people are bad. Are they bad, Aiden?” I knew he’d ask him that. Well, he needs to know these things. Ryan covered his mouth and gasped. “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

He replied, “It’s quite alright, Ryan. You asked and I’m going to answer in a way that I know you’ll understand.” Aiden placed his hand on his shoulder. “Gay people aren’t bad at all. You know how your mommy and daddy love each other very much? Some people like other boys or other girls and there’s nothing the matter with it.” He continued, “I like both boys and girls. That’s called being bisexual. Your father is what we call ‘homophobic’, and being homophobic is wrong. You don’t spread hatred towards anyone who’s different from you if they’re not hurting anybody. Do you understand?” Ryan nodded and went to go pet the older cat. The Russian Blue.

Ryan asked him, “What’re your kitties’ names?” I was still holding the fluffy white one and petting it.

Aiden said, “The one you’re petting right now is Venus, the one that Nick’s holding is Diamond, and the one who’s sleeping on the couch is Willow.” I saw the way Ryan was bonding with Venus and it made me so happy.

“Aiden, are they boys or girls?”

He replied, “All of them are girls.” Venus gave Ryan little headbutts and was being a cute little cat. Aiden smiled. “She likes you, Ryan.” He came over to see me still coddling the white cat and kissed my forehead. He said, “Adorable. Diamond loves cuddles.” Well, he seems to be pretty content with his three cats. At least he always has some sort of company. I worry about that a lot. Aiden took me to the side and asked me, “Is that the little boy you told me about?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Little Ryan just turned eight a few weeks ago. He’s such a well-behaved kid.” I watched him greet Willow, the little Siamese kitten, and he was bonding with her. I put Diamond down so she could meet him and I could easily talk to my boyfriend. 

Aiden smiled. “He sure is. I bet his parents are proud to have a son like him.” He asked out of concern, “He has been taking his medicine, right?”

I replied, my smile dying down, “Of course. He has to...for the rest of his life.” I sighed. “But I understand though. I have to take a lot of medicine too. It sucks, but it’s the only way I’ll really be right.” I continued to watch him with the cats. For an eight year old, he’s really good with animals. Must have been taught early. I continued, “He doesn’t deserve to have to be on medication for the rest of his life so he can function in society. I mean, he’s just a kid. Pretty much no kid at his age is on as many medications as he is.” Ryan came over to us with Willow. I smiled. “You got yourself a kitty, huh? She’s a baby...just like you.”

Ryan giggled. “Nicky, I’m not a baby! I’m eight!” He looked up at Aiden and gave him the kitten. “You have a kitty now. Hope you like her.” Aiden took the kitten from him and held her in his arms. He asked him, “What’s it like to be a teacher?”

Aiden said to him, “Being a teacher is fun. A lot of hard work, but it’s fun.” He added, “Do you want to be a teacher when you grow up, little one?”

“Well...I want to play music when I grow up. With my friend Spencer,” he said. Oh yeah, Ryan has a little friend named Spencer. They’re like peas and carrots. Two precious little kids. Ryan shrugged. “Or maybe do art. I don’t really know yet.”

He chuckled. “You have plenty of time to think about it, Ryan. No need to rush.” Aiden playfully pinched his cheek. “What you need to do right now is be a child. You have a lot of growing to do still, Ryan.” Aiden looked at me and placed his hand on my head. He said to me, “For a sixteen year old, you’re quite short.” Yeah...I’m about five foot something. I’m short for a guy. I guess that’ll change when I get older, but I don’t know. Aiden’s at least half a foot taller than I am. But my god, he’s hot. Ryan went back to play with the cats and Aiden thought it was the right time to grope me. He whispered, “I like having something to hold and squeeze.”

I blushed. “Aiden, Ryan’s right there. We can do this when I don’t have him.” I looked at my watch and said, “I’m so sorry to cut this visit short, Aiden, but I really need to take Ryan home and get the agenda set up for tomorrow.”

He replied, “No need to apologize. I understand.” He added, “Come by this weekend if you’d like.” I nodded and kissed him. Ryan grabbed his stuff and said goodbye to the cats before coming over to me. Aiden said to us, “You two stay safe and have a good rest of your day.” We got into my car and drove to Ryan’s house. His mom was there to greet us along with his dad. Danielle is a very sweet lady, but George is intimidating as hell. He’s still relatively nice though. I parked my car, which is a Honda I was given to by someone.

Ryan got out of the car and ran up to meet with his parents. I said to them, “Hey, Dani and George. I got you a sweet little boy.”

Danielle laughed. “Oh, Nick, you’re so sweet.” She said to Ryan, “Hello there, Ry-Ry. Did you have a good day at school?” He nodded. “That’s good, honey.” Danielle looked at me and asked, “Are you able to take him tomorrow night while we get the house straightened up?” Oh yeah...tomorrow’s Friday. I could definitely take him tomorrow. But I kind of want to spend some time with Aiden too.

I nodded. “Sure. He can stay the night with my uncles and me.” I know how much Ryan loves the cats, so it’d be perfect. George still has some adjusting to do when it comes to me being raised by my uncles, but he doesn’t have a problem with them personally. I asked Ryan, “You wanna spend some time at my house tomorrow?” He nodded.

“That’s fine,” she said. “But of course, you know the medicine he has to take and all that good stuff.” Yeah, and I sure can’t give him any of mine. I nodded as if to say I understand. Danielle added, “It’ll give George and me some time alone.” So then I’m probably getting paid on Saturday, the day I’m supposed to bring him home.

My face turned bright red and I laughed. “Oh yeah, definitely.” I said, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I went back to my car and drove to my house. As usual, Uncle Tyler’s not home yet and Uncle Stephen is doing something. I greeted him. “Hey, Uncle Stephen.”

He pinched my cheeks and kissed my forehead. “Hello there, pumpkin. Had a long day, huh?” 

“Yeah...had to pick up Ryan from school and stuff,” I replied. “Is it okay with you and Tyler if he spends the night tomorrow? George and Dani have things to do and want him off their hands.”

Uncle Stephen giggled. “I don’t see why not. He’s such an angel and he really likes you, Nicky.” I smiled. “He can take the couch tomorrow.” He knows how I am about my privacy. I don’t think Ryan would be thrilled to see or hear what I do in my room anyway. My uncle noticed the pants I was wearing that hug my assets and decided to poke some fun at me. “Bet you wore those for your boyfriend.”

I blushed. “Uncle Stephen! It’s not my fault he likes these pants.” With Aiden’s very sophisticated, cool and classy exterior, it’s surprising to know he wants what other guys want. I mean, he’s a man with needs and I guess I’m the one he can get them from. I’ve been at that school for a little over a month and I’ve noticed quite a few people checking me out. Maybe what I was born with is a bit of a curse. Oh well. A lot of guys my age don’t have what I do, so it’s all good. I went into my room to clear my head and relax for a bit. Well, before I could actually relax, I had to set up the agenda for tomorrow and for next week. It shouldn’t be too difficult. We practically do the same thing every day...just different kids and songs. I got out of the clothes I was wearing into some lounge clothes and began to work on the agenda, which didn’t take me too long. Only then was I able to finally relax and clear my mind.

When I finally got the chance, I just thought about Aiden. My god, I’m lucky to have a guy like him. I want to spend some time with him this weekend, but I don’t know if that’ll be possible because of Ryan spending the night over here tomorrow. Oh well. Ryan only comes over here maybe twice a month at most, so it’s not a huge deal. Aiden will understand.

 

 

*End of flashback.*

 

*Crystal’s POV*

 

I’m really happy my big brother Spencer’s finally home. I missed him so much. But Daddy was really mad at him and I don’t know why. I tried to ask Mommy and she wouldn’t tell me either. Maybe it’s because Daddy had to go away for a little while, but I don’t know. I’m only ten. Spencer tells me that I don’t need to worry about things like this, but I can’t help it. I went over to Daddy to give him a hug. I asked him, “Daddy? Can I ask you something?”

He smiled. “Anything for you, Crystal. What do you need to ask me about?” 

I gulped. “It’s about Spencer, Daddy.”

Daddy replied, “Oh, your punk of a brother? What about him?”

“Why were you so mad at him, Daddy?” I was expecting him to give me a straightforward answer, but he only said this:

“Because Spencer is a punk. That’s why.”

I looked at him wide-eyed. “Daddy, Spencer didn’t do anything wrong. He was just trying to protect me and Jackie.”

He asked, “By threatening to off everyone and end himself? You think that’s protecting you and your sister?” I gasped in disbelief. I don’t remember that. All I remember is Spencer being scared for Ryan and he went to sleep. I don’t remember much else. I didn’t see much of it either. Daddy nodded. “Yeah. Now you know why your sorry excuse for a brother had to leave for a few months. Because he’s so selfish that he wanted to end his own life.” I started crying. I’m really sensitive when it comes to my brother and my sister, so it was a natural instinct. Mommy came in to say something to Daddy. She said to him:

“Jeff, that’s enough!”

Daddy shrugged. “What? She wanted to know why I was pissed at Spencer. I told her.” I ran to Mommy and she hugged me. He asked her, “What’s the issue, Ginger?”

Mommy replied, “Jeff, she is ten years old! She doesn’t understand anything you told her. You know as well as I do how sensitive she is when it comes to Spencer and Jackie.” She added, “And badmouthing her brother because he was scared that his friend was going to quit on him and he reacted out of impulse and fear? What kind of father are you?” I was still crying. I still don’t understand what my parents are talking about. My brother came out to see what was going on. He saw that I was crying and he coddled me like he did when Jackie and I were really little. Spencer couldn’t even look at Daddy without shaking. Does he get cold around Daddy?

I asked, “Spencey…? Are you okay? Why are you shaking, Spencey?” He put me down, got up, and walked out of the living room back to his room upstairs. I hope he’s okay. I said, “I’m sorry for asking, Daddy...I didn’t know it upset you so much.”

Daddy said, “You didn’t know. It’s okay. I should be apologizing for scaring you.” He asked, “Say, where’d he go?” I saw that Spencer came back downstairs with his car keys and he whispered something to Mommy. She nodded and he went outside to drive away. He raised an eyebrow. “What was that all about?”

“Spencer needs some space. He’ll be back.” 

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

I stopped at a park that’s pretty far away from my house. This spot is perfect. I put up all the sunshields on the windshield, the windows, and the back window so nobody would dare to look in my car. I’m really close to crying right now and if anyone were to see me cry, I’d be mortified. When I felt that everything was quiet, I felt the tears stream down my face and I started sobbing. I don’t know why the hell I’m crying right now, but I am. I wanted to stop crying, but the tears kept streaming down my face faster and I kept sobbing violently. My hand went into my pocket to take out my phone to talk to one of the guys, but I decided against it because they wouldn’t be able to understand a word I’m saying. But then I reconsidered and called Ryan because I won’t be able to get through whatever I’m going through if I just hold everything in. I heard him answer the phone and I said, “Hey, Ro. You doin’ okay?”

Ryan said, “Eh. Could be better, could be worse.” He could tell by the tone of my voice that something’s wrong. He asked out of concern, “You sound really upset. What’s wrong?” That was when I broke down crying. “Spence, please talk to me. What’s going on?”

I replied in a sappy voice, “Ryan, everything hurts right now. My dad is poisoning my sisters into thinking that I’m a selfish prick...I can’t even be in the same room with him without my anxiety going up and I’ve already had five anxiety attacks today because of him. I feel nauseous all the time and throw up basically everything solid that I put in my body. My whole body hurts. I’m in so much pain that I can’t really do much of anything without feeling like knives are stabbing me repeatedly.” I sobbed in pure agony. “I-I want to fucking die right now. I can’t take it anymore.”

He replied empathetically, “Spencer, I feel all that same pain right now. You’re not alone. I’m hurting with you.” Ryan added, “Killing yourself isn’t going to solve anything. It sounds rich coming from the one who overdosed on sleeping meds, but you know, I learned that the hard way. You may be free from your own pain, but you’d pass that on to everyone else.” He sighed. “I know everything’s hard for you right now. It’s not any easier for me...but it’ll get better with time. We just need to be patient and work at it. Everything will fall into place.”

I shook my head. “N-No...it won’t get better. Not when I’m dealing with my dad trying to play my sisters against me.” I thought about Brent and Brendon. I need to ask him how they’re doing and if they’re with him right now. I gulped. “Where are B and Brent at? Are they with you?”

Ryan said, “Brendon’s at work right now, but Brent’s with me.” He added, “Brent’s doing fine, if you were wondering. He’s feeling a lot better than he was a few days ago.”

“What happened to him a few days ago?”

He shrugged. “Nothing major. He said he was just not feeling like himself.” Then it hit me. The fact that he’s been sick because of us. Ryan reassured me. “Don’t worry, it has nothing to do with us.”

I sighed in relief. “Good. I was scared for a second.”

“Yeah, I know. I was scared too,” he replied with a soft laugh. “You feeling any better, Spence?” I shrugged and muttered something that sounded close to ‘I don’t know.’ Ryan asked me, “Want Brent and me to go over to where you are?”

My voice was shaky when I said, “Please.” I know for a fact that if I don’t at least have them here with me, I’ll do something really stupid. We said our goodbyes and I sat there, waiting for them to come over here. I took off my seatbelt to try to relax a bit, but pain shot through my body and I whimpered loudly. When I heard someone parking right next to me, I peeked out through one of the sunshields to see Brent’s van. I unlocked the doors and they came in. I said to them, “Hey, guys.” Ryan was right next to me, so I thought it was a good idea to attempt to hug him. I threw myself back in the seat and almost let out a loud scream, but all that came out was sobs. Brent carried me out of the driver seat, placed me in the back seat with him, and Ryan joined us.

Brent asked, “What’s wrong?” All I could do was whimper in pain. He comforted me. “Oh my god, did you hurt yourself, Spence?” I shook my head.

“I’m in pain. Everything hurts,” I replied as clearly as I could. I broke down crying. “Please put me out of my misery. Put a bullet or two in my head, fucking drug me, something!” They both comforted me and tried to do whatever they could to help make this not as bad. “I wanna die...please let me die.” Of course, this made Brent a little uneasy. He looked me in the eyes and grasped my hand firmly.

“Please stop talking like that, Spence. You’re scaring me,” Brent replied in a quiet voice. I felt Ryan holding my other hand and trying his best to comfort me. He kissed my temple. “Deep breaths, Spence. Deep breaths. You’ll be okay.” I began to take some slow deep breaths while gently squeezing their hands. Brent praised me. “That’s it. Keep going.”

Ryan rested his head on my shoulder and began to coo gentle sentiments in my ear. I began to feel some relief, but I was still achy. Ryan wiped away my tears with his free hand and kissed my cheeks. “Feeling better?” 

“I’m not in as much pain as I was...so thank you.” I gave him a reassuring smile. Brent kept rubbing my back with his free hand. I told him, “It’s okay. I’m feeling better.”

Brent sighed in relief. “Good. I was scared.” He asked me, “What was making you hurt so much?”

I replied, “Well, my dad’s trying to play my sisters against me and make me out to be the worst bastard in the world. I can’t even be in the same room with him without having my anxiety go up...I had five attacks today because of it. I can’t keep down anything solid...so I’m puking all the time now. The only things I can keep down are liquids. Every time I try to do something as simple as taking out the trash, I feel like someone’s stabbing me repeatedly.” 

He said, “Spencer, you need to go to the hospital. How long has this been going on?”

“Since I left Ryan’s...which was about a week ago.” Brent looked at me in horror. I could’ve sworn he was going to panic right in my car. I know he has these attacks at his house because his brother tells me that he sometimes hears Brent whimpering and his bed rattling because he shakes so badly. He sometimes has them when I’m staying over there too. I said to him, “Brent, please don’t worry. It’s probably just stress and it’ll go away eventually.”

Brent shook his head and replied firmly, “Spencer James Smith, go to the fucking hospital. Throwing up nonstop every day, feeling like someone’s stabbing you every time you move, and having multiple anxiety attacks isn’t normal.”

I sighed. “I know. My mom said she’s gonna take me to my doctor sometime today or tomorrow. She’s just as worried as you guys are.” I closed my eyes. “Of course, my dad is oblivious to what’s going on and my sisters don’t understand it at all.” Yeah, he’s the one who caused this. He should be concerned about me like my mom is, but I know that’s not happening anytime soon. Whatever. I can’t make him show concern. He won’t for my friends, so he won’t for me. I just have to accept it. I asked Ryan, “How’s Bden? Did he hear from his mom and dad at all?”

Ryan shrugged. “He heard from them a few days ago, but they didn’t say too much to him. Brendon’s okay though, nonetheless. Just plain ol’ Bden. My man.” He chuckled. “You guys would be cute together, not gonna lie.”

Brent blushed. “We get that a lot. Some people even think we’re dating, but we’re not, obviously.” He added, “It’s good to hear that Brendon’s doing okay.” Well, he lives with Ryan, so you can assume that he’s always doing okay. If he wasn’t, he’d let us know. Brent just held onto me and didn’t let go. It was very comforting to me and just what I needed from someone. He asked, “You think you can drive home, Spence?”

I nodded and said, “Oh yeah. I can definitely drive home. You guys are the best.”

 

*Some time later…*

 

*Brendon’s POV*

 

I came back from work to notice that Ryan was acting a bit strange. He was in his room sitting by his vanity in a dress and looked very similar to a doll. Ryan even put on makeup to look more doll-like. I went downstairs to see if Danielle was here and she was downstairs looking at a magazine. I sat down by her and she acknowledged me.

“Hello, Brendon. How was your day?”

I shrugged. “Oh, it was okay. Nothing too exciting happened today.” The image of Ryan acting strange popped into my head. His mom must be able to tell me something about that. I asked her quietly, “Danielle, is Ryan okay?”

She said, “He’s fine. Why do you ask?”

“I walked in his room to say hi to him and I noticed him acting really weird,” I replied. “He was dressed like a doll and acting like one too. Do you know anything about that?”

Danielle nodded. “Oh...this is your first time seeing him like that. He’s done that since he was in fifth grade...a couple years before he came out as gay. George and I took him to a child psychologist who noticed some very unusual behavior from him. She noticed that he stayed in certain positions for long periods of time and he took on being a doll with getting dressed up and acting like it.” She continued, “We thought that it was just a phase and that he’d grow out of it, but he still goes into that mindset to this day.”

This is really weird to me, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop loving Ryan. I asked, “You think what George does to him has anything to do with it? Like, does he feel like if he’s a doll, he won’t get hurt or something?”

“That’s exactly why, Brendon. I hope this doesn’t make you think of my son any different. He can’t help it when he goes into that mindset.”

I nodded. “I know. This won’t make me think of him any different. I still love him, Dani. You know that as well as I do. George knows I love him too.”

She replied, “Good. You make Ryan so happy, Brendon. I’ve never seen him this happy since he was a toddler...but I have a lot to do with that because of my genetics.” Danielle shook her head and sighed. “It hurts me to see him like that. He’s in pain every month, he has panic attacks all the time, his mood swings are absolutely terrible...he doesn’t even like to eat all that much. It’s all my fault.”

I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Dani, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to cause it. It’s genetic, just like you said. You have no control over that. Please don’t blame yourself for what Ryan goes through.” She started crying and I held her close. “Please...Dani...it’s not your fault. It never was.”

She sniffled. “I should’ve divorced his father a long time ago if I knew he would harm my baby boy...but I wanted Ryan to have his father in his life. I didn’t want to keep the cycle going.” Danielle continued, “Brendon, I wanted to give Ryan a better life than mine. I didn’t have my dad in my life.”

“Danielle, Ryan’s stronger than you realize.”

“At the same time, he’d be a lot happier and all this abuse wouldn’t have ever happened. It’s my fault for staying with George despite what he does to my baby,” she said. “Ryan’s very protective of me because of what he goes through with George.” He’s been like that ever since I met him. I met him around the same time Brent did, which was in middle school. It was a while before he came out of the closet and before that girl did what she did to him...or at least attempted to do to him. It’s pretty traumatizing to him still, which is understandable. I’d be traumatized too if that happened to me. She sighed. “I’m so sorry you became uneasy when you saw him.”

I replied, “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything to cause it. I just have never seen him do anything like that before. It was kind of a surprise to me.” Well, at the same time, he’s pretty effeminate, but still. It was a bit strange. I went back up to see him and he was out of that headspace. I said, “Hey, Ryan.” Ryan looked like he was ashamed. He couldn’t even look at me. I sighed. “Ryan, I’m really sorry for walking in on you. I’m not gonna break up with you, I promise.”

Ryan looked me dead in the eyes and said quietly, “I was afraid you’d judge me for something I can’t help doing.”

“Baby, no. It was a little strange to me at first, but I would never judge you for this. You’re not hurting anybody with it.”

He sighed. “I know...still, I was scared you’d leave me because I sometimes go into the headspace of a doll. The only other person who knows about this besides my parents and you are Brent and Spencer.”

My eyes widened. “They never told me about it.”

“I told them not to. I wasn’t ready to tell you because of our relationship then was fairly new. I didn’t wanna scare you away.”

I replied with a long sigh, “If you were doing drugs or something like that, yeah, I’d leave you. But what I saw accidentally is harmless and innocent. Quit assuming things.” I’ve been very close to making the decision to break up with him because of how paranoid he can be, but I know that I’m not going to find anyone else like him. Ryan cares about me way too much. I added, “If it makes you feel any better, I think about doing some very dirty things to you...very dirty. But we’d have to do that when your parents aren’t home.”

Ryan blushed wildly. “Same, but I’m not exactly ready yet.”

“I know that. I was just throwing that out there to make you feel better.”

 

 

*Jackie’s POV*

 

“Spencer! You’re back!” I ran over to hug him. He seems to be feeling better now. I’m not sure how long this will last though. Mommy’s going to take him to the doctor to see what’s the matter so that we can all stop worrying. I asked, “Are you okay now?”

He shrugged. “I’m as okay as I’m gonna get.” Spencer said to Mommy, “Mom! I’m back!” I hugged him tightly and this made him grunt a bit. He said quietly, “Not so tight, Jackie.” I loosened up my grip a bit and he was a bit better.

“Sorry, Spencey. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Spencer replied, “I know you didn’t. Be careful with me next time, please.” He went upstairs to go to sleep, I’m guessing. He’s also been sleeping a lot. I wonder what’s wrong. I went over to Mommy and asked her:

“Mommy, Spencer’s not acting like Spencer. What’s wrong?”

She said, “Jackie, he’s not feeling well. Just let him rest for right now.” 

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

I was trying to sleep off this headache that I have, but my phone rang. I picked it up. “Hello?” This sounds like Brent, but I’m not quite sure. His voice is very shaky and I can’t really make out what he’s saying. I asked, “What’s goin’ on?”

Brent replied in a sappy voice, “Spence...I’m in the hospital right now.” Hospital? What’s he doing there? I hope it’s nothing serious.

“Why are you there? What happened?” I was waiting for a response, but he was so hysterical that he couldn’t give me one. I asked, “Brent, what the fuck happened? Tell me, dammit!”

He said quietly, “My whole body hurts…” Brent added, “It’s because of a really bad panic attack I had when I got home...Blake saw it. It was so bad I was puking nonstop and I passed out on the floor.” Brent broke down sobbing. I tried to calm him down the best I could, but he ended up having another panic attack over the phone. I don’t know what else to do other than comfort him over the phone. I’m too tired to drive to the hospital right now. If I drove over there, I risk hurting myself or others, so it’s probably not a good idea to drive when I’m tired.

I said, “You’re gonna be okay, Brent. Don’t worry. Just try to keep yourself calm.” I added, “Think about things that make you happy...like how hot you think Danielle is.”

Brent chuckled. “She’s a MILF.” He whispered, “Ssshh! Don’t tell Ryan.” I smirked and started giggling. I’m not sure what his fascination with Ryan’s mom is all about. Probably because his mom’s kind of crazy. Brent said, “I know you must be tired, Spence. I’m sorry for bothering you with my drama.”

“No, no, no. You’re not bothering me at all,” I replied. “Don’t worry about it. I’m always here to listen.” I thought about Ryan and how he’s probably taking it right now. I asked, “Hey, is Ryan with you?”

He said lowly, “He’s not, and I’d much rather have him not know about this. You know how he gets when stuff like this happens. Tell him, and he’s gonna freak the fuck out. It’s best that Ryan doesn’t know that I’m here.” 

I nodded. “Ryan’s our friend. Shouldn’t he at least know that you’re okay?”

Brent replied in a hushed tone, “Yes, he’s our friend, but he doesn’t need to have a heart attack because of all the stress he’s under right now. Ryan’s got enough on his plate and it’d be cruel of me to add to that.” He sighed. “I gotta go. My parents are coming in any minute.”

“Alright. You get better, Brent. I love you.”

“I love you too, Spence.” He ended the phone call after that. I put my phone on my nightstand, took my pants off and slept. It’s probably not healthy for me to be sleeping this much, but it’s the only way that I’ll be free of the pain for a while. After a few hours, I heard my mom knocking on my door. I said, “It’s okay to come in, Mom.” She came in carefully to see how I was doing. I chuckled. “Hi.”

She said, “Hey, sleepy.” My mom messed up my hair and I giggled. “I talked to your doctor and he said to come see him tomorrow afternoon. Are you feeling alright for now?”

I shrugged. “Eh. I’m okay...still really achy though. And I probably shouldn’t try eating anything ‘cause I don’t wanna throw up.”

“You need to keep yourself calm, Spencer. I don’t want you having anymore anxiety attacks today,” she replied. “You’ve had five in one day and the last thing that I want is for you to have a stroke or a heart attack at your age. I know your dad’s upsetting you right now. He doesn’t know how to say that he’s sorry without you panicking or getting upset.”

I sighed. “Well, Mom, he’s trying to play Crystal and Jackie against me because he’s still upset over the fact that I said something about what he was doing. Plus he resents me for being so scared for Ryan that I said something I shouldn’t have.”

My mom said gently, “I do agree that what he’s telling your sisters is wrong. You know as well as I do that they don’t understand what he’s saying to them when it comes to what happened that night. Your dad was very concerned about you because of what Ryan did and he didn’t want you to follow suit.” She sighed. “When you were away, he finally woke up and realized that he didn’t treat you or your friends the way he should have. I know you don’t want to let him in right now, but eventually, you’re gonna have to. He is your father and the only one you’re ever gonna have.”

“When he can show genuine concern for me, I might consider.” I’m already worrying about so much right now and it’s eventually going to come back to kick my ass harder than it is now. I’m just hoping that everything will be okay and that there won’t be anymore problems. You can only dream, huh?

 

*To be continued…*


	9. Not Strong Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brent is home from the hospital, Ryan's at Aiden and Nick's house, and Spencer's moody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for fair warning, there are parts where suicide is mentioned...and Ryan calling Aiden "Daddy" because he sees him as a paternal figure.

*Brent’s POV*

 

 

“Brent...Brent...wake up.” I heard a voice that sounded familiar. I woke up to see my mom with my dad and Blake. She said, “Oh, thank god you’re okay. We were worried sick about you.” I stretched and looked around to see that I wasn’t in the hospital anymore. I was at home. My mom smiled at me. “You’re not in the hospital, Brent. You’re at home.”

I said quietly, “I’m so sorry for scaring you guys. I don’t know what happened...I was in the living room just playing my bass and I blacked out.”

Blake told me, “You had a panic attack...three of them. You had one here and two at the hospital...it was pretty freaky.” He came over to hug me. He added, “But at least you’re okay now and you didn’t hurt yourself too badly.” I feel so bad for scaring my brother like this. He’s thirteen and I’ve been trying to shelter him from what I go through as much as I possibly could. I know I can’t shelter him from everything forever, but I just want him to be a kid and not have to worry about as much as I do.

“I’m really sorry…”

My dad patted my back. “Never apologize for things like that, okay? You can’t control when those attacks happen. It’s not your fault.” Yeah, it kind of is, technically. Why? Because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I care a little too much for my own good. It’s going to eventually come back to haunt me, I know it. He gave me a tight hug. “What caused it, Brent? Do you remember?”

I replied, “I don’t really remember a whole lot of what happened. I was literally just in the living room playing my bass when it happened. I felt my throat tighten up, so I put my bass back in its case and I got up to get some water...the next thing I knew is that I was on the floor. Then I called Spencer...and I don’t remember anything after that.” I added, “I don’t know what caused it either.”

Blake giggled. “You told Spencer you loved him.”

My mom asked, “That was a bit strange. What happened to Jessica?” Oh yeah. That girl who just used me so she could flaunt me around and brag about how she has a boyfriend who’s in a band. My mom knows that I’m bisexual, but she doesn’t understand what it is. She sighed. “Let me guess...you’re fawning over one of your friends now.” I have been for a while. I didn’t want to say anything about it.

I replied, “I’m not with her anymore. I’ve been single for months. Besides, Spencer’s always been there for me.” I added, “You seem to be forgetting that I’m bi, Mom. I like both. And no, it’s not half gay half straight.”

“That’s unfortunate, honey. She seemed to be a nice girl,” she said. My mom added, “But if you’re wanting to give a boy a try, I’m not gonna stop ya.” Well...not just any guy. I know Spencer likes me too, but we’re afraid of being disowned by our families, so we have to keep what we do a secret. His parents would hit the roof if they found out about the things we do. I mean, Spencer’s parents aren’t exactly homophobic and neither are mine. They just don’t really understand what it really is. Well, I guess with us, it’d be biphobic instead of homophobic...because we’re both bisexual. I sincerely hope that if we do happen to be in a relationship that our families will be okay with it. Spencer’s always been there for me and I’ve always been there for him too. We could make it work if he didn’t have that bitch of a girlfriend. Man, Ryan’s right about the chicks we date. Guess I should listen to him more. I noticed that my parents and my brother left my room so I could have some time to myself. I sure need it. I want to just forget about everything for a few. It’d be so nice if I could just not think about anything right now, but I can’t bring myself to. I have way too much on my mind. 

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

I’m over at Aiden and Nick’s house helping them with the cats and making sure everything’s in order. Venus laid right by me and the other three cats were roaming around the house doing what cats do. I heard my phone ring and it was Brent calling me. Good thing he did because I’ve been thinking about him. I said, “Hey, Brent.”

“Hey, Ryan. What’re you doin’?”

I replied, “Oh, I’m just over at Aiden and Nick’s watching their cats. What about you?”

Brent said, “Well...I’m laying down, but I need to get up to take some medicine because my head hurts.” I wonder why his head’s hurting. Did he get hurt at work or something? He added, “Reason why is because I had three panic attacks. Had to go to the hospital.”

I gasped. “What? Why didn’t anyone tell me anything?”

“Ryan, you have enough to worry about. If Spencer were to tell you about what was going on with me, you’d have a heart attack, guaranteed. Besides, you wouldn’t have been able to handle me crying over the phone because of how scared I was.”

I asked, “What happened?”

Brent sighed. “I don’t remember too much, honestly. I was playing my bass in the living room when I felt my throat tighten up. I don’t know what caused it. I put my bass back in its case and went to go get some water because I thought it’d help...then I blacked out and passed out on the floor. My brother told me that he heard me whimpering...then I woke up in the hospital and I was freaking out.” He continued, “Again, I don’t really remember much of what happened.”

“I’m happy you’re okay though. I was really worried.”

He replied, “I know you were. But now you know that I’m okay and there’s nothing for you to worry about.” Brent let out a soft laugh. He added, “Enough of that. How are you?” 

I laughed. “I’m okay.” I felt Diamond get up on my lap and I giggled. “Well, hello there, Diamond. What’s going on, baby? Just wanted to see me, huh?” I said, “Well...I’m glad you’re okay, Brent. I’ll let you get some rest. See ya.” I hung up to give the two older cats Venus and Diamond some attention. The Russian Blue looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes that look a lot like Aiden’s. Hers are brighter than his, but they’re pretty similar nonetheless. I smiled with some tears forming in my eyes. “Oh, Venus...you’re such a beautiful cat. You’re as old as me and you’re still as active as you were when I first met you. Still got that gleam in your eyes.” I turned to Diamond and said to her, “You’re such a gorgeous cat too. Still have that long coat of fur.” I closed my eyes and felt some tears roll down my cheeks, landing on Diamond’s coat. She came up a bit higher as if to tell me that everything will be okay and not to be sad. I said in a sappy voice, “Diamond, baby, I can’t help it. You two mean so much to Daddy and Nicky...you mean a lot to me too.” 

After talking to Diamond, Venus came up as if she was telling me the same thing. All I could do was break down sobbing at the thought of Aiden losing the cat he’s had since he was my age and the one he’s had since he graduated high school. I sniffled. “I don’t want either one of you to go...please don’t go. I don’t want Willow and Piper to go either.” I’ve been having dreams about this kind of thing. I know Nick will be crushed. Just imagine how Aiden will feel when he loses his babies. He won’t be able to look at Russian Blue cats or long-haired white cats without breaking down sobbing over Venus and Diamond. I heard someone knocking on the door, so I pulled myself together and went to answer it. To my surprise, it was the girl I remember Nick telling me about. I said, “Hello...Ryleigh.” Ryleigh had dyed plum hair with black tips along with very grunge apparel. She said to me:

“Hi, Ryan. You must know Mr. Slavic and Mr. Steele. I had them when I was in high school...before I killed myself in that closet he doesn’t use anymore.”

I looked at her wide-eyed. “I know exactly what you’re talking about. What did he use it for exactly?”

Ryleigh replied, “Glad you asked. He used it for storing uniforms.” Oh...that’s what it was for. That makes sense. I thought she was going to say it was for something else. Like something really suspicious. No, I know Nick better than that. She added, “Well, the teacher before him did. Slavic would use it as his private place to cool down and recollect himself because it was pretty common for him to have some kind of mental meltdown. He didn’t let anyone see him like that...except for Mr. Steele, of course.”

I have so many questions for this girl. I asked her, “How did you get into his office and why did you hang yourself in that closet he used to keep students from seeing him have meltdowns? You know that he blames himself for what you did? How does that make you feel that one of the sweetest men on the planet fucking cries because of you and wishes that he could go back to save you?” Am I really talking to this girl’s ghost? I’m so confused. I growled. “Ryleigh Matthews, tell me why!”

She said, “I didn’t mean to use that specific place to do it, Ryan. I needed a place where I could be alone and that nobody would find me.” She continued, “Like you, I was bullied a lot in school. Nobody cared about me. My parents were negligent...they never raised me. Mr. Slavic was the first person who genuinely cared about me. He was my age. I was a junior in high school and there he was teaching at a high school. Yeah, I was a bit jealous. I thought he loved me, but just seeing him with Mr. Steele crushed me...he never told me he was gay. I wanted to be with him, Ryan.”

I sighed. “Ryleigh, I’ve known that he was gay since I was little.”

“And you were the little boy he would talk about,” Ryleigh replied lowly. She continued, “That guy talked about you like you were the best thing since sliced bread and you were only eight years old!”

My voice was quiet when I said, “Ryleigh, I was little. How could you have been jealous of a little boy you never met? I did nothing to you.”

“I just wanted someone to talk about me like he did with you,” she said. “I needed constant validation, but I never got it. Nobody liked me...not even the people who I thought were my friends. You have it so easy, you have no idea. You have parents who love you, you have friends, you have a boyfriend, you have teachers at that school wrapped around your finger. You have it made, Ryan. I wanted that, but I guess I couldn’t have it.”

I put my hand on her shoulder. “You have to work for it, Ryleigh. You can’t just have it be handed to you on a silver platter.” I added, “I know what you’re thinking. I didn’t get this with my health issues. I got this because I’m genuinely nice to people. Maybe what you could have done was just be nice to people, get involved in things, do nice things.” I asked, “Wait...am I actually talking to you or are you a ghost and I’m just being crazy?” Well, it seems that I’ve gotten my answer because this girl just disappeared out of thin air. I went back to lay down with the cats and all I could do was cry. I can’t believe I talked to someone who hurt Nick...the big brother I never had when I was growing up. I’m so angry. A girl who I never met was jealous of me because Nick babysat me and actually treated me like I should be. About a few hours later, Nick called me to check up on me. “Hey, Nick.”

“Hi, Ryan. How’s it going?”

I sigh. “Not so good, to be honest. I have something to tell you and it sounds crazy. You know that student you were telling me about that died during your first year of teaching?” I heard his response. I added, “Well...she came by and talked to me out of nowhere. I don’t know why she came over here though.”

Nick gasped. “What?! You actually saw Ryleigh?”

“Well, her ghost. She was telling me a lot of stuff about when she was in your class and stuff. It was weird. Then she began saying that she was jealous of me.”

He said, “Ryleigh never met you, Rossie. How could she be jealous of you?” Nick thought about it for a moment. “Oh yes, she wanted someone to talk about her the way that I talked about you back then. Ryleigh was a bit obsessed with me, if you didn’t know. She wanted to date me and be with me, but when she saw me with Aiden, she snapped. She wanted Aiden gone. Ryleigh thought I was into her because I was nice to her.”

I gulped. “Wow...is that why she killed herself?”

“Well, that’s a huge part of it. She was tired of being bullied and pushed around, so she took her own life...in a place where she thought nobody would find her,” he replied. “Ryleigh thought the closet I used to isolate myself whenever I had meltdowns was the best place. She took the only place I could really be alone...I can’t ever forgive her for that.”

I teared up. “How could she hurt you like that?” By the sound of Nick’s voice, he was angry. So angry that he was crying. I said gently, “Nicky, I’m so sorry.”

Nick replied, “Ryan, don’t blame yourself, sweetie. You did nothing wrong. It’s Ryleigh who really hurt me...after all I’ve done for her. She just wanted to get in my pants, but she couldn’t have me.” That chick had some demons, that’s for sure. I may have a bit of a crush on Nick too, but damn this is extreme. He added, “I’m sorry, but I really have to get back with Aiden. We’ll discuss this when we get home.” We said our goodbyes and hung up. I went around the house to make sure that everything was in order, the cats had their bowls filled, and the litter boxes were cleaned. After that, I went into their room to take a nap. Just the smell of Aiden’s light cologne along with Nick’s bakery smell makes me feel safe. When I was a kid, Nick would always smell like baked goods or mild spices like cinnamon and nutmeg. I’ve grown accustomed to that and to be truthful, I wouldn’t change a bit of it. About an hour and a half later, Aiden and Nick came in the door to see me taking a nap in their bed. I woke up to greet them. I said to them:

“Hi, Daddy...hi, Nicky.”

Aiden chuckled. “What’re you doing in our bed, Ryan? Cats tire you out?” I nodded and he patted my head. “Understandable. Besides, you earned the sleep.” Aiden noticed that my eyes were still a bit red from crying. He asked out of concern, “The area around your eyes are a bit red and puffy. What’s troubling you?”

I said quietly, “The thought of Venus and Diamond dying….the thought of Willow and Piper dying….how you and Nick will take it...a lot of things.” Aiden sat down by me and held my hand while Nick excused himself from the room. I added, “Daddy, I don’t want them to go.” I started crying again. My god, I’m too fucking attached to his cats for my own good. I sniffled. “They mean too much to you and Nick...I don’t want them to die right now, Daddy!”

He sighed out of sympathy. “Oh, Ryan...they’re not going anywhere. Not for a long time. Those cats all love you to pieces just like you love them.” Aiden continued, “Venus and Diamond are both older than Willow and Piper. As much as none of us want to admit it, they don’t have as much time left as we’d like to think they do. They’ll be lucky to live to see their twenties, but even I’m not sure they’ll live that long.” He wiped away my tears while I noticed his eyes filling with them. “I don’t want them to go either, sweetheart, believe me. I’ve had them since you were too young to talk and walk and Nick was in elementary school.” 

“I’m so sorry that I’m bringing it up, Aiden. I feel terrible.”

Aiden replied sadly, “Ryan, I know the thought of our cats dying upsets you. Imagine how Nick feels about it. Imagine how I feel. Truth be told, I’ll be a mess when they go, but it won’t stop me from going on with my life. When it’s their time, there’s nothing we can do to stop it.” He continued, “But don’t worry about that right now, dear. Enjoy the time you still have with them. That’s what Nick and I are both doing. We still cherish every day we have with the cats.”

I said, “I know...I just know how much they mean to you two. They mean a lot to me too.” I even think about my own parents dying. It’s just me being paranoid, but I have good reason to be because you never know when stuff like that will happen. I wrapped my arms around Aiden tightly. I don’t want to let him go. “Try not to cry too much, Aiden.”

“It’s a natural emotion. If I cry, I cry. Nothing you can do about it.” He chuckled. “You’re quite adorable, Ryan. Haven’t changed that much since you were little.” Diamond came up to say hi to Aiden and I saw a side of him that I never thought I’d see. He said in an excited voice, “Diamond! Hello there, darling!” She patted his shoulder to say that she wanted to be held. Aiden held her like a little baby and she gave him a bunch of kisses. “Oh, I missed you too, Diamond. Were you and your sisters good for Ryan?” 

I laughed. “Of course they were. They’re always good.” I kissed Aiden’s cheek. “Love you, Daddy.”

Aiden smiled. “I love you too, Ryan.” He asked me, “Just out of curiosity, how come you call me ‘Daddy’?”

“W-Well...you’re the only stable father figure I have. I know I still have my dad, but you’re different, Aiden,” I began to say. “Like, you’re always just so calm and you’ve always been there for me. I know it’s a little strange that I call you ‘Daddy’, but it’s not what you’re probably thinking.”

He smiled. “Ryan, darling, my mind didn’t go there at all. I know it’s not sexual. I was just curious as to why you call me that.” He added, “I know your father is a sore subject, but have you tried talking to him about maybe fixing your relationship with him?” Yeah, he’d probably do that when I finally like chicks, which is never going to happen.

I sighed. “It’s not that easy, Aiden. He began drinking heavily because he couldn’t handle the fact that I’m gay and I’m not attracted to chicks. He just wanted me to be his perfect little straight masculine boy, but I’m a little gay boy who’s more feminine than the average guy my age and he hates that.” I continued, “So technically, the only way to really fix our relationship is if I magically became attracted to girls, and since that incident in middle school...that’s never gonna happen.” 

“Your father loves you for who you are, Ryan. He wouldn’t force you to be sexually attracted to women because he knows that you don’t look at women that way,” he replied. “My grandfather didn’t accept me for being bisexual right away. He thought I was just confused, but really, I like both women and men...I just happen to have a preference for men. There’s nothing the matter with having a preference.” He got up with Diamond still in his arms. “Let’s go check on Nicky.” We went out to the living room to see Nick curled up on the couch watching some show on TV. I never knew he was into reality shows. All he was doing was muttering about how they only have straight people and that there’s not even one person who’s gay. Aiden got his attention with, “Nicky, how are you feeling, honey?”

Nick replied lowly, “Pissed off at the fucking media for not catering to people like us. When they do, we’re turned into a fucking stereotype!” He slammed his hands on the couch. “I’m sick of it! I really am. I may be pretty fucking feminine for a man my age, but I am not a flamer like the media likes to make people like me out to be!” I don’t know why he’s ranting about the media right now, but I do agree with him. Aiden just started laughing. Nick blushed and asked, “What’s so funny? You know it’s true, Aiden.”

Aiden said calmly, “I think you need some time for yourself. Relieve some tension, perhaps.” He got closer to him and added, “Maybe I could be of assistance, dear.”

“N-No...if I were to do anything like that, I’d like to just be alone,” he said in an embarrassed tone. Nick suggested, “Hey, maybe you and Ryan can spend some time together for a little while. How does that sound?”

He nodded. “Excellent. You enjoy yourself, Nick. If you need anything, even if it’s just a head start to get yourself going, don’t hesitate to call me.” Nick looked at him, blushing beet red. Well, some time with Aiden sounds nice. I mean, I’ve been stuck in a mental hospital for a good part of the summer and I haven’t been able to even reach him to speak to him. It’s already bad enough that my dad has such an issue with him. Maybe it’s because he’s jealous? I got into his Audi and waited for him to get in. Aiden finally got in the car, started it up, and opened up the garage door to get out. He then closed it afterwards and we were just going out for a drive. Maybe we might get some coffee or something. Aiden chuckled. “Nick sure is a riot.”

I laughed and said, “Yeah, he is. Say, what did you two have to do anyway?”

“Oh, preparing our schedules for this coming school year. And discussing the curriculum, of course. Nothing too exciting,” Aiden said. He smirked. “Ryan, dear, I’ve been doing that for almost ten years now. It makes me feel a bit old, frankly.”

I replied, “Aiden, you’re not old. My dad’s old.” Yeah, and you can blame that on him drinking so heavily and smoking. I asked, “You’ve been teaching there since you were twenty-two?”

Aiden nodded. “Yes. It has been quite an adventure. Teaching isn’t the easiest job in the world as people like to think. I’ve never really had an issue with teaching my students. They knew I meant business.” He added with a laugh, “People saw me as very intimidating...but I’m not that way at all. I’m not very easy to anger.”

“You have such a long fuse, don’t you? It’s amazing, really. I don’t have a very long fuse myself.”

He comforted me. “Ryan, that’s not your fault. You were born with chemical imbalances in your brain and there’s not a whole lot you can do about that except for take medicine for it. But that doesn’t define who you are as a person...because you’re absolutely wonderful and will do great things in your lifetime.” Aiden sighed. “So...you saw Ryleigh before we came home?” I nodded. He said, “I had her as a student. She was very quiet...but very angry and broken. Ryleigh connected with Nick because of how angry and broken he felt as well. She thought that Nick was into her because of how kind he was towards her, but she never knew he was gay until she saw us together. Believe it or not, she thought I was into her too. I surely wasn’t. I never looked at her that way.”

I sighed sadly. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with that.”

Aiden continued, “No, not at all. She was a typical teenage girl who had a crush on a few teachers. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nick used to have so many meltdowns that some days, the drama teacher Ms. Indica or Miss Quinzel, the student-teacher for Mrs. Mathers, would have to take over and teach his class because he couldn’t function well enough to do so. He’d just hide in the closet and never come out for hours on end. That all changed when Ryleigh went into his office to hang herself in that closet. Nobody knows how she got in there in the first place. Nick was in the teacher’s lounge just relaxing when someone ran in the room to tell him that a student got into his classroom and was in his office. I was confused because Nick wouldn’t leave his classroom doors unlocked unless people were eating in there during lunchtime. It wasn’t even close to lunchtime, mind you. I went with Nick to see what was going on and he screamed when he found her.”

I looked at him wide-eyed. “Oh my god...that’s terrible.”

He nodded. “It was a horrendous sight. Nick couldn’t stop screaming and sobbing...I had no idea how to approach what we saw.” Aiden gulped and stopped the car in a park before looking me dead in the eyes. “It was like staring death in the face.” He added, “Ironic thing about that is school didn’t get out early or anything. They just all carried on like it was a normal day while there was a dead girl. Nick had to go home early because he was too traumatized to teach, so Miss Quinzel took over for the rest of the day. You know her as Autumn, I’m sure.”

All of this information is heartbreaking. This girl wanted to have friends and be recognized for once, but she couldn’t have that. The thing that really baffles me is why they didn’t end school early to investigate or anything. I’m guessing they did that while class was going on, but still. I gave Aiden a hug to comfort him. I said, “I’m so sorry.”

Aiden sighed. “There’s nothing to apologize for. It was eight years ago, and none of us could do anything to stop it.” He continued in a cold tone, “That little girl broke my fiancé. How could anyone be so obsessed with two people that they just end their own lives without considering how others will take it? Nick cries because of her. He’s still traumatized.” Aiden gave me a sadistic smile. “She better come back tonight. I would like to give her a piece of my mind.” I smiled back and nodded. He laughed softly and said, “Ryan, I can be very nasty. Especially when it comes to those I love and hold dear. Hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all, Aiden.” I smirked. “She’ll get a rude awakening. Nobody fucks with Nick.” 

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

All I’ve been doing today was sleep because the medicine my doctor gave me makes me super sleepy. Thing is that I don’t want to get up. At least I’m being left alone right now because I really need to be left alone for right now. My mom came in to check on me. I said, “Hey, Mom.”

“Hello, pumpkin. How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Really sleepy.” I smiled lazily. “But at least I’m not hurting anymore.” My mom came over to coddle me like she used to do when I was little and I was giggling. “Mom!”

My mom said, “You’re never too old to be coddled, Spencer.” She kissed my forehead. “I have to work tonight and your dad’s going with the girls to spend some time with Nana, so you pretty much have the house to yourself.” She added, “Your friends are more than welcome to come over as long as we don’t get complaints from the neighbors.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.” I saw her leave and I surprisingly didn’t feel that tired anymore. Maybe I can have Ryan over. No, I can’t have him over because he’s with our band teacher and his boss. Maybe Brent’s available? I heard knocking on the door, so I went downstairs to see who was at the door. I opened it to see Brent. I squealed. “Oh my god, I was just about to call you!”

Brent shrugged and said, “I know. That’s why I came over. My dad needs some space right now and Blake’s at a friend’s house.” He gave me a tight hug and patted my back. “I knew you didn’t want to be alone.”

“Sometimes that’s all I want...but right now is an exception. I don’t want to cry tonight,” I replied quietly. That’s pretty much all I do when my parents and my sisters are out of the house. I just break down crying so hard that I can’t breathe or control how loud I do it. Believe it or not, I’ve considered hurting myself to ease the pain, but I think about Ryan doing that and how badly it scared me, so I don’t do it at all. I’ve never tried it either because of seeing how much Ryan would do it and the days when he came to school wearing blood-stained sleeves. Brent looked at me confused. I sighed. “When I have the house to myself...all I do is cry. My parents and my sisters have never seen me cry. Even when I’m on the verge of tears, I just isolate myself and wallow in my own misery.”

Brent replied, “Spencer, that’s not healthy at all. You can’t keep bottling up like that. Trust me, I learned that the hard way.” He closed the door and sat down on the couch. “Remember when I broke down sobbing over something that wasn’t even worth getting upset over?” I nodded. He said, “It was over not getting enough sleep or something like that. I can’t remember what it was about.” Yeah, it was something really stupid. I can’t even remember what it was about, but I do remember him breaking down out of nowhere, which scared the fuck out of me because he doesn’t do that very often. At least not in front of anyone. Guess that’s where we click. Brent hugged me and whispered, “If you ever need to cry, let yourself cry. Don’t hold it in.”

I sighed. “It’s hard to let myself do things like that. Especially when your dad tells you that if you’re a man who cries, you’re weak.” Yeah, that’s why he doesn’t really care for Ryan too much. Because Ryan gets emotional and moody a lot and he can’t deal with it. So he leaves it up to either my mom or me. I continued, “I literally had to wait until I was alone to actually cry when I was in all that pain...or wait until they were too busy to even notice it.” I laid my head on his shoulder and almost instantly broke down sobbing. Why do I have to always put up this tough front? Oh yeah. Because I would be taunted for breaking down and reacting with another emotion other than anger. Brent just held me without saying a word. I knew I didn’t want to be alone like I usually do. I’m really glad I at least have someone here who understands what it’s like to put up a front because you’re afraid people would call you weak.

“You’re not weak if you show emotions. It’s human nature. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

I whispered, “Why can’t I just not care like Ryro?”

Brent sighed sympathetically. “Ryan can’t help it, Spence. It’s not fun for him...or his mom, because she has the same thing.” He smiled. “Hey, I have something that might help you feel better.” Before I could process what was about to happen, he pushed his lips against mine. Oh man, my parents would hit the roof if they found out about this. I don’t even care at the moment though, so I deepened the kiss to the point where we were making out right on the couch in the living room. Let’s just hope my girlfriend doesn’t find out about this. She’d be livid. Speaking of her, I heard a knock on the door, so Brent and I pulled away and wiped our mouths before answering the door. I saw her there, greeting me with a smile.

“Hey, Spencer. Just wanted to come over to see how you were,” Lisa said. I was about to say something, but she cut me off with, “Honey, have you been crying? Brent didn’t hurt you, did he?”

I replied, “Brent would never do that to me, Lisa. He’s too good of a person to do such a thing.”

Lisa asked, “Then why does it look like you were crying, Spencer?” I have to come up with something...and fast. Just so she doesn’t worry about me. I laughed it off and said:

“Oh, it’s just that I had a little something in my eyes...plus I was sneezing a bit. Probably just my medicine making me act a little weird.”

Will she buy it? She sighed. “Spencer, what’s really going on?” Shit. She saw through me. Lisa played with her strawberry blonde hair and said, “You don’t have to hide things from me.”

I sighed in defeat. “You got me...I’ve been holding in my emotions too long and I just broke down.” She looked at me concerned and what do you know? I start crying again. FOR NO REASON. What the fuck is wrong with me? I sniffled. “I’m a sorry excuse for a human being! Why am I such a crybaby?”

Brent comforted me and said, “Spencer...you’re not a sorry excuse for a human being, and crying is a natural response to pain. It’s okay to break down sometimes.” He held me close and rubbed my back to soothe me. “It’s okay. Please don’t think you’re weak because of this.”

Lisa gasped. “You think that if you cry, you’re weak? No...you’re not weak because of that, Spence. Please don’t think that! Who told you that?”

I shouted, “MY DAD! HE TOLD ME THAT IF I CRY, I’M WEAK! NO WONDER HE HATES RYAN! BECAUSE RYAN SHOWS MORE EMOTION THAN I’VE EVER SEEN MY DAD SHOW!” I buried my face in Brent’s chest and sobbed so violently that I couldn’t breathe. I sniffled. “M-My god...why am I like this? Why do I always have to put up a tough front and hide behind it until I just blow up for no reason?”

Brent made me look into his eyes, but he looks so blurry because of the tears that are uncontrollably streaming down my face. He cooed, “Hey...listen to me, Spence.” Brent sighed and wiped away my tears so I could see him better. “You’re not weak for crying. I don’t know why your dad would say that to you. It’s not emasculating to show emotion, okay? If you need to let out your emotions, let yourself do so. Don’t bottle it up, please.”

Lisa added sadly, “Oh, you poor baby. Don’t listen to your dad.” She hugged me and said, “If it’ll make you feel better, I cry quite a bit too. We all do.”

I breathed in a sob and said in a sappy voice, “Th-That’s because it’s more acceptable for girls to cry.” Which is true, considering how society is. They just want guys to be strong all the time and that’s just not possible. I added, “I think it’s my medicine that’s causing this too.”

Brent nodded. “Could be. I know some of the medicine I’ve taken made me super moody. Don’t sweat it. You’re gonna be fine.” I wonder how Ryan’s doing with Mr. Steele and Mr. Slavic. He’s probably doing just fine, but I just wonder. I swear, if they’re giving him trouble, I’m going postal on them. Just kidding, but they better not mess with him. Lisa went home and it was just the two of us again. I’m feeling a bit better now, though I’m not sure how long this will last.

 

*To be continued…*


	10. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon gets a job at a smoothie joint and Ryan loses his virginity to him when he gets home. Aiden and Nick are still struggling to forgive the student who ruined their lives.

*Brendon’s POV*

 

I just got a job at the smoothie joint in town to repay my boyfriend’s parents for letting me stay with them. It’s fun so far, but I miss being with Ryan. I feel bad for leaving him by himself, but I know he’s doing okay. I got off work a few minutes ago and I’m going home to see Ryan. When I walked in the door, I noticed that the house was empty. I walked down to the basement to see Ryan curled up on the couch. It looks like he’s sleeping. Guess Nick and Aiden really tired him out. I sat down next to him so he could have someone to wake up to. My god, he looks so cute and peaceful when he’s sleeping. Poor guy’s had problems with it forever. He eventually woke up and said:

“Hi, Beeb.”

I replied softly, “Aaaww, hi there, my sleepy baby.” Ryan pulled me under the covers so we could cuddle. Man, he must have missed me. I chuckled. “You looked like you were dreaming about something really good, Ryan.”

He nodded. “Yup, and it involves you and me.” I smirked. I know where he’s going with this. Ryan said softly, “I’ve been thinking about that lately...but I’m scared.”

“What’s there to be scared of, babe? We’ll use protection and stuff.”

Ryan replied, “I’m afraid to tell my mom that I want to do that with you. I don’t know if she’ll accept it.”

I sighed. “Babe, if she accepts you for being gay, she’ll probably be okay with us taking our relationship to the next level. Besides, I don’t think your mom’s gonna get mad at you because you want to have sex with me.”

“But my dad’s a different story. You know that.”

I smirked. “Your dad can be homophobic all he wants. I don’t care anymore. I love you, you love me, and there’s nothing he can do about it.” I crawled on top of him and asked, “I got some supplies while I was out today. You wanna do it while your parents are still gone?” 

Ryan whispered, “Yeah, sure.” I threw a blanket over us and we both took our pants off. I grabbed some lube, coated my fingers with it, and gently pushed them inside of him one by one. Ryan’s muscles tensed up around my fingers until I coaxed him and he relaxed. I rolled the condom onto myself and pushed inside of him. He giggled. “This feels so weird...but I like it.”

“Agreed,” I said. I thought about something for a minute. Shouldn’t we have done some kind of foreplay beforehand? I began to thrust to make Ryan moan. The sounds that came out of him were almost inaudible. Is he hurting? God, I hope I’m not hurting him. I said sheepishly, “Sorry we couldn’t do anything before this.”

He let out a pleasured peep. “Brenny, it’s okay. I don’t know when my parents are gonna come home, so it’s fine.” I went faster and didn’t last very long after that. I heard Ryan whimper quietly as he released all over himself and left a few spots on the couch. Let’s hope his dad doesn’t notice when he comes down here. After I pulled out, Ryan said, “That was an experience.”

I nodded. “Sure was a nice one. Even if it felt a little weird.” I saw Ryan sit up and put his shorts back on. I asked him with concern, “Ryan...umm...you were really quiet when we did that. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Ryan shook his head.

“I’m quiet when I’m pleasuring myself and when I orgasm. You know this.”

I laughed. “Oh yeah, that’s right. It really pays off. At least your mom won’t have to think you’re screaming bloody murder while you jack off.” Ryan blushed and nodded in agreement. We heard Ryan’s dad coming down the stairs and I quickly put my pants back on. Just so he won’t get suspicious. I looked over and said, “Hi, George.”

George replied, “Hello, Brendon...Ryan.” He looked at us and asked, “What’re you two doin’ down here?”

Ryan explained timidly, “I was cleaning up in here and I took a nap afterwards.”

“Why couldn’t you go up to your room to take a nap, Ro?”

He said, “I didn’t want to fall going up the stairs, Dad. Plus, the couch is comfy.” His dad just muttered something under his breath in response and went back upstairs. Ryan whispered to me, “Good thing he doesn’t have a clue what we did.”

I shrugged. “I don’t think he cares at this point. I wouldn’t be too worried about it.” I saw Danielle coming in here and I said, “Hey, Danielle. What’s up?” The look on her face told me she knows what went down in here and I watched Ryan’s complexion turn ghostly. I gulped. “Danielle, I can explain.”

Danielle giggled. “Why would you think I’m angry with you two?” She saw Ryan panicking and she told him, “Honey, relax. I’m not mad. What happened in here? Your father told me he noticed you and Brendon acting strange.”

Ryan sighed. “Mama...please don’t get mad at me. We did it.” Danielle gave him a sympathetic look. He added, “It’s not what you think. I wanted it too. Brendon didn’t hurt me. We used protection. I promise, Mama, there won’t be any babies running around anytime soon.”

She said, “Ryan, you need to settle down. I’m not mad. It was bound to happen sometime. You’re at that age where you want to do that kind of thing. I’m glad you were being safe.”

 

 

*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE IS MENTIONED HERE ALONG WITH SLURS*

*Flashback!*

*Aiden’s POV*

 

It’s another day teaching. I’ve been here for two years now and it still feels brand new to me at times. I was having some coffee in one of the teachers’ lounge rooms when Nick came in abruptly. We’ve been together for a few months now and I’ve enjoyed every moment of it. He said in a panicked state:

“Aiden! Do you have a minute to talk? I have something to tell you and it’s worrying me.”

I asked, “Nick, what’s the matter? Did something bad happen?” He nodded quickly and was hyperventilating. I comforted him and said, “It’ll be alright. Just take a few deep breaths and tell me what’s going on.”

Nick gulped. “I locked the door to my classroom because I needed to use the washroom and get a drink, but when I came back, the door was opened. I don’t know how that happened. I have my keys with me, so I know nobody stole them.” 

“That sounds rather peculiar. Would you like to go in and check to make sure everything is in order?” I asked him. Nick nodded and we walked down to his classroom. He sure wasn’t lying about the door being opened. I looked over at the door leading to his office and noticed that it was opened too. I saw him walk over to his office to make sure nothing was stolen and followed him afterwards. I shook my head in dismay. “This is so strange. Who would be in here during passing period if you’re not in here?” Nick checked the storage closets until he got to the one he would go into whenever he had meltdowns. He opened the door and I saw a girl hanging by a noose around her neck. Nick shuddered in shock and asked:

“Ryleigh? Ryleigh, are you okay?”

There was no answer. Nick screamed her name, dropped to the floor, and started sobbing. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! YOU HAD A WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU!”

I came up behind him and I couldn’t believe my eyes. “No...this has to be one of those sick senior pranks.” I helped Nick up off the floor and comforted him. I whispered, “I’m so sorry.” He knelt down over the small trash can in his office and began throwing up from the shock alone. I came up behind him to continue comforting him, despite being rattled myself. After he was done and he washed his mouth out with some water and a few mints, I said, “Come on. We have to tell someone so they can investigate.” We walked down to our supervisor’s office and sat down in front of him. He’s old enough to be my father, but he’s not as bad as people make him out to be. His name is Theodore Hicks, but we just call him Teddy. He’s a black man from Detroit, but he came over here because he wanted to see something new and be around new people. He asked us:

“You two look like you just saw Death himself. What happened?”

Nick sniffled. “I-I just left my room to use the bathroom and get a drink of water. A girl got into my classroom somehow...but the door was locked. I have no idea how she got in. I went to tell Aiden about it and we went back to see what happened...the girl was…” He broke down sobbing and Teddy handed him a box of tissues. Nick said quietly, “She was hanging by a noose...she wasn’t moving.”

Teddy shook his head in dismay. “My god, that’s terrible. Slavic, you don’t have to say anything more. I’ll let Steele tell me the rest for you, okay?” Nick nodded as if to say he understood. He asked me, “Do you know the name of the girl?”

I nodded. “Yes, sir. Her name was Ryleigh Matthews. She was a student in one of Mr. Slavic’s classes...I had her in one of my classes as well.” I blinked my eyes and sighed. “Ryleigh had a lot of demons in her, Teddy. Nick and I both have tried to help her. She was Nick’s age. What a shame, really. She had her whole life ahead of her. All we wanted from her was to succeed the best way she could.” Nick had a folded up paper in his hands. It must be a suicide note. He unfolded it and read through it. It said:

 

This world just isn’t my place. Nobody cares about me except for you and Mr. Steele...even you two managed to betray me. I thought you loved me, Nick. I didn’t expect you to be gay. I knew you were fucking around with Mr. Steele. You disgust me. What the fuck is wrong with you? I wanted to have a good life with one of you guys. Maybe both of you if you were both okay with sharing me.

I never had anyone treat me as kindly as you two did, let alone believe in me. I’m sorry for using your room to hang myself. You need to quit hiding from everyone. I know you don’t want people to see you have your crazy ass meltdowns, but it’s life. Deal with it, Slavic. You’re a teacher. Fucking act like you at least have some balls. I was about to tell Ms. Perez about you and Aiden, but since I”m dead now, consider yourself lucky I didn’t tell her. 

Fuck everyone. Fuck all the people who pretended to be my friend to only stab me in the back in the end. Fuck the school. And fuck you and Mr. Steele too. I hope you burn in Hell for your sins, faggots.

~Ryleigh Jane Matthews

 

I looked at the letter and seethed, but I didn’t want to show how angry I am right now. I said sharply, “After all we’ve done for this child, she tells us to burn in Hell! What a disgusting child. She should go to Hell for being so hateful!”

Teddy said, “We’ll have authorities over to investigate the scene, gentlemen.” This made Nick crumble and scream:

“MR. HICKS, I DIDN’T DO IT! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! I’M NOT A MURDERER! I DON’T WANNA GO TO JUVIE FOR HER KILLING HERSELF IN MY CLASSROOM!”

I shushed him. “Nick, please settle down before you go into cardiac arrest. You’re not going to be blamed for any of this. You didn’t do anything wrong. They won’t call you a murderer, okay? I’ll make sure they don’t.”

Nick sniffled. “Th-Thank you, A-Aiden…I’m so sorry. I’m scared.” Teddy placed his hand over Nick’s and told him:

“I think you two need to take a few days off so you can clear your heads.”

I nodded. “Of course, sir. Thank you. I’m going to keep a close eye on Nick to make sure he doesn’t do anything drastic.” We both clocked out for the day and I took Nick home. I gave him a gentle kiss, wiped his tears away, and said, “If you need to come over, please do. We’re technically going to have almost a week off because of the weekend coming up...thought I’d let you know. Call if you need anything.”

Nick sniffled and nodded. “Th-Thanks, Aiden...I love you.” I pulled him into an embrace before letting him gather his things and go into his house. Once I saw that he was going into the house, I drove away. I was afraid this would happen. Ryleigh had so many demons in her...honestly, I’m not surprised she committed suicide.

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

I surprised my uncles with my abrupt arriving. Uncle Tyler got off work early too, so it’s nice to see that Uncle Stephen isn’t alone. Even though I know that he’s fine when Uncle Tyler isn’t home, I still worry about him. I threw my things in my room hastily, curled up in my bed, and let out a few quiet sobs and sniffles. Uncle Stephen knocked on my door and I heard Uncle Tyler through the door:

“Nick, you’re home a lot earlier than usual. You didn’t greet us either. Is everything alright?”

I replied, “No...I’m sorry.” I got up to open the door and they saw how much of an emotional wreck I am. I added in a sappy voice, “One of my students died today...the one who I was trying to help. I found her hanging in my office...Aiden was with me when I found her...” I broke down sobbing violently and gasped for air. “Sh-She left us a note...she was gonna tell Ms. Perez about Aiden and me! Th-Then she told us to burn in Hell…”

Uncle Stephen gasped and gave me a tight hug. “Oh, my poor baby! I’m so sorry that happened, Nicky.” I went to Uncle Tyler and he did the exact same thing while I was trying not to break down sobbing any harder than I was. He said gently, “Pumpkin, don’t blame yourself for any of that. You did nothing wrong. You did your best to help her. She’s gone and there’s not a whole lot you can do.”

I sniffled. “Aiden a-and I have done so much for her and she tells us to burn in Hell for loving each other and not her! She was obsessed with us, Stephen!” I furiously wiped away my tears. “Ryleigh thought I was in love with her, even though I’ve told her many times that I don’t like girls that way...the kids were right.”

Uncle Tyler said, “Nick, please try to calm yourself down. You didn’t do anything wrong, like Steph said. Aiden didn’t do anything wrong either.” He sat me down on my bed and comforted me. “Nick, when your uncle and I first got together, a lot of people told us to burn in Hell too. Countless times. That didn’t stop us from loving each other. Don’t let what someone says stop you from loving Aiden. I know it hurts, but please don’t let it get to you, okay?” I nodded as if to say I understand. He asked, “Speaking of which, didn’t you say this girl was obsessed with you and Aiden?”

I sighed and calmed down a bit so I could tell him. “Yeah. She was...she thought that me standing up for her meant that I loved her. Also thought helping her meant that I was in love with her. You both know as well as I do that I’ve never liked girls that way.” I added, “It was worse with Aiden. Ryleigh said a lot of disturbing things about him...about what she wanted him to do to her. Aiden and I both tried to explain to her that saying those kinds of things are extremely inappropriate and that she might want to seek some kind of counseling to help her with those thoughts. Of course she didn’t listen to us and she kept on trying to push us. According to someone who was friends with her, she apparently saw us kissing or something and that made her snap. Ryleigh literally thought that Aiden and I loved her...romantically and sexually.”

Stephen sat down next to me and comforted me. “Should’ve reported her, baby boy. I know you don’t want to do anything like that, but if another one of your students is doing that to you, you need to do it so you don’t end up getting hurt.” 

“I’m scared of getting hurt basically every time I leave the house. All because I’m gay!” There’s still the stigma that being gay is bad, so it’s natural for me to have the fear of losing my job or something because I happen to like boys. I sighed. “I was going to, but I was blackmailed into not doing it. She was going to tell everyone about me being with Aiden.”

Tyler replied, “Nicholas, if this happens to you again, you have to report it. No matter what. They will listen to you and believe you.”

 

 

*End of flashback*

*Ryan’s POV*

 

I went into the dining room to see my parents sitting at the table. Oh my god, this is not going to end well. Brendon’s with me, so I should be okay. I gulped and said, “Hey, Mama...hey, Dad.”

Dad told me, “You and Brendon have a seat.” We sat down next to each other while I was just waiting for my dad to just fucking beat me and get it over with. Something. He sighed. “So I heard from your mother that you two had sex.” I just crumbled and started crying. Dad said gently, “Ro, boy, I’m not mad.”

I sniffled. “Just fucking beat me and get it over with. I’m sorry...we couldn’t help it. I wanted it just as much as he did, but I was afraid you’d kill us for it.” 

“What’re you talking about, Ryan? I’m not gonna beat you for this.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Dad...I was afraid of how you’d react. I know how you are about me being with Brendon.”

Mama replied, “Ryan, he knows you love Brendon. He’s from a time where being gay is considered taboo, but you know your father loves you no matter what.”

My voice was quiet when I said, “I wanted it...I wanted it for a while. I was too scared to say anything.”

“Honey, you know you could come to me if you need anything like that. I could try to get you on some kind of birth control,” she said with a laugh. “I’m not ready to be a grandma yet. You’re my sweet little baby boy and I want to keep you that way for a little longer.”

Brendon laughed. “I wrapped it before tapping it, Dani. Don’t worry. I was gentle with him too.” Dad looked at him and shook his head. He said, “Sorry. That was a little too much.”

Dad told him, “I don’t need to know how good my son feels wrapped around your cock, ‘kay?” I started giggling.

“Sorry, George.”

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

I was in the Mercedes with Aiden and there was a pretty awkward silence between us for quite some time. We’re both shaken up by our student’s ghost showing up at our house, and it’s been happening for a little while now. We’ve been living in that house for years and I would hate to move to get away from her. I finally broke the silence and asked quietly, “Aiden, are you mad at me?”

Aiden looked at me and replied, “No, Nick. Why do you ask?”

I sighed. “I feel like Ryleigh showing up at our house is partly my fault...and I’m sorry that I can’t forgive her right now.”

He took a deep breath. “Nicholas, I understand that you can’t forgive her right now because of how much she’s hurt the both of us, but you have to forgive her sometime.” Aiden added, “I want to be with you as long as I possibly can. I don’t want to have to bury you at twenty-four, Nicholas. Life is too short to hold a grudge.”

“I know...I’m sorry.”

Aiden said lowly, “Nicholas Casey…” I groaned and rolled my eyes. I hate it when he does this. It reminds me of my Uncle Tyler scolding me for something stupid. He let out a soft laugh. “That attitude is going to make you not able to sit comfortably for a few days. Watch yourself.”

I giggled. “Maybe I’d like to not be able to sit comfortably.”

He smirked. “Hush. I’m not in the mood to have sex right here. You can wait until we get home, can’t you?” I shrugged my shoulders and snickered. Aiden said, “Well, Nicky, you’re a young man. You can keep yourself in check until we’re home.”

“Aiden Christian Steele, I’d love to wait until we get home, but you’re not making this easy on me.”

He replied, “Nicholas Casey Slavic, you behave yourself. You act like a child, I will treat you like one.” I started laughing. Aiden stopped the car in a shady, deserted area and looked me dead in the eyes. “You had a chance to do this the other day, Nicholas, but you insisted that you needed to be alone.”

I pouted. “Aide! We haven’t had sex in two weeks though.”

Aiden said sarcastically, “I could call Ryan and you two can have some fun. I’d love to watch.” He laughed and I blushed beet red. “I’m just teasing you, my sweet strawberry. I couldn’t do that to him.”

“You better not do that to him.”

He shook his head. “Nicky, I would never do that to Ryan. You know this.”

I shrugged. “Didn’t you say you wanted to fuck him and have him call you ‘Daddy’ because you know he has daddy issues?”

Aiden looked at me confused. “What are you talking about? I don’t remember saying anything like that about him.” He continued, “I must have had a little too much to drink that night and I was spewing things I didn’t mean.”

I nodded. “You did, Aide. You said that about Ryan. You were drunk and that doesn’t happen ever if at all.”

“Nick, you know I don’t mean to say things like that.”

I replied, “I know, honey, but he’s very precious to me and I don’t want anything bad to happen to him.” Speaking of him, I wonder how he’s doing. I know he’s okay, but I just want to make sure. Aiden held my hand and squeezed it. I sighed. “I’m sorry I’m so protective over my little Rossie.”

Aiden said quietly, “You have every right to be protective of him, Nicky. However, Ryan isn’t an infant. He doesn’t need to be defended every second of his life. He can fight his own battles when he needs to.” He added, “I know you love him dearly, darling. I do too. Ryan is growing up, Nick, and there’s nothing either of us can do to stop him from growing up.”

I smiled. “Aide, sweetie, I want to keep Ryan little for as long as I can.”

“He’s going to be seventeen, darling. You’re not going to have a lot of time to keep him little.” We got some things that we needed for the house before going back because I know that our kitties wouldn’t be too happy with us if we didn’t get them a little something. Aiden got into some more comfortable clothes and was coddling the cats. “Hello, babies.”

I giggled. “We’re home, kitties.” Piper gave me kisses with her nose and I said, “Yes, Piper. I missed you too, sweet baby.” I added, “We both missed our pretty babies.”

Aiden chuckled. “You are just adorable with the cats, Nicky.” He pulled me in for a kiss. “My beautiful fiancé.” He said, “Remember what I said about forgiveness, dear.”

I let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Nick, I know this is going to be very hard for you, but trust me, you’ll feel so much better with that huge weight lifted off your shoulders.” 

I replied lowly, “She fucking hurt us.”

Aiden responded sharply, “Nicholas, do you think that I’m not as hurt as you are over Ryleigh’s death? You know darn well I am just as hurt by that day as you are!” He sighed heavily. “You are not a teenager anymore. It’s best that we forgive and forget. If I can do it, so can you.”

I said sharply, “Fine!” I stormed out of the living room and locked myself in the empty closet. I need a few minutes to cool off. Why does Aiden treat me like a child? Is it because he met me when I was a teenager, or is he just ridiculously overprotective? I heard the door open and I heard him greeting someone.

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

“Hey, Daddy. I just wanted to check on you, Nicky, and the kitties to make sure you’re okay.”

Aiden smiled and ruffled up my hair. “That’s so sweet of you. Nick and I had a little dispute earlier about us forgiving Ryleigh.” I looked at him concerned. He said, “Oh, Nick’s going to be fine. He’s just isolating himself right now.”

I asked, “He’ll come out soon, won’t he?”

“Of course, Ryan. When Nicky’s calmed down, he’ll come out.” I sat on the couch with the kitties until Nick decided to come out. I hope they don’t call off their wedding. Aiden told him, “Nicky, I’m sorry I upset you.”

Nick sighed. “I’m sorry I upset you too, Aide.”

Aiden kissed his lips. “Okay, sweetheart. You seem calmer now. Ryan came by to check on us.” Nick giggled, went over to me, and coddled me while giving me endless kisses. Aiden laughed. “It’s been nearly nine years since we’ve known each other, Nicky, and you never fail to be absolutely adorable.” 

I nodded. “You know Nick. He’s adorable.” I played with his red curly hair. I said, “I wonder what your hair would look like straightened, Nicky.” I saw Aiden pulling out an album to flip through until he got to a few pictures. I looked at them and said, “Wow. That’s what he looks like with straight hair?”

“Nicky sometimes does it still.” Aiden looked at me. “With our schedules of being high school teachers, plus taking care of our babies, he doesn’t always have the time to do that kind of thing.” He coddled Nick and gave him a kiss. “But I love my sweet strawberry.” I don’t know if I should tell them about what Brendon and I did, but I might eventually have to tell them because I basically tell them everything. Well, when the time is right, I’ll tell them.

 

*To be continued…*


	11. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Brent's birthday, Ryan tells his friends about what happened between him and Brendon, and Pete is skeptical of Mr. Steele. He finds out that he's a nice guy. 
> 
> Brent finally has the courage to show Spencer how he truly feels about him.

*Brent’s POV*

 

I looked at my calendar and saw the date for today. July 20th...my birthday. I’m seventeen today and I don’t know how to feel about that. I just want to forget about my birthday, but I know my parents won’t let up. A few minutes later, I saw a text from Ryan. It said:

Hey, Brent. Happy birthday, dude! Is this a good time to talk?

What’s he talking about? From the way his message is coming across, it sounds pretty serious. I texted back:

Thanks, Ryro. Of course it’s a good time to talk. What’s up?

I waited a while for him to respond. My god, I hope everything’s okay. He finally responded and he was pretty vague about it. Then we had a bit of a conversation.

I did something I shouldn’t have.

What’re you talking about? I’m sure it’s not that bad.

Brent, you don’t understand. I did something terrible...I’m so scared.

Ryan, please tell me. It’s okay.

I waited around in anticipation. I went out to the kitchen to get some coffee. Thankfully my boss let me have the day off so I could relax. As I was finishing up my coffee, Ryan responded with:

I’m not pure anymore...you can guess what happened.

My god. I’ll just call him so he can tell me. I called him and he answered pretty quickly. He gulped. 

“H-Hey, Brent...I’m down in the basement so nobody can hear us talking.”

I sighed. “Ryan, please tell me what’s going on.”

Ryan said, “I don’t know how to tell you without you getting upset.”

“Just spit it out or I’m hanging up.”

He replied, “Okay...okay. Brent, there’s no other way I can put this...I’m not a virgin anymore.” What the hell? I’m really confused. He did not just say what I think he did. I’m lost for words. I don’t know what to say right now. This is shocking. Ryan added, “I know you’re mad at me, but I wanted it. I kept having these dreams and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

I sighed. “Ryro, this isn’t you...but I’m not mad. Shocked, but not mad.” I asked, “Aiden didn’t do anything to hurt you, did he?”

Ryan broke down crying. “No! Aiden would never hurt me like that! He’s a good man...besides, he’s got Nick.” He added, “Brendon and I did it...we used protection.”

“Good. I’m glad you kept it safe. If you were pregnant right now, that’d completely destroy you.”

He said, “Yeah...my dad wasn’t too thrilled to hear about it. My mom was pretty understanding...all she said was that she was gonna put me on something.”

I nodded. “That’s good. If your boss ever puts his hands on you like that, he’s gonna have to deal with me.”

Ryan laughed softly. “Aiden’s like my second dad. He wouldn’t do that to me. He’s smarter than you think. Plus, Nick wouldn’t let him do anything like that to me.”

“Still….I know you really like him and stuff...I just don’t want you getting hurt or taken advantage of.”

“I’ll be fine, Brent. I’ve known him forever. He wouldn’t dare put his hands on me.”

I nodded. “Good. Umm...did you tell Spence about this?”

Ryan sighed. “No...I haven’t told him yet. He’ll throw a fit. I know he will. Spencer’s overprotective of me.”

My voice was stern when I said, “Dude, you’ve got to tell him sometime. He’s gonna find out sooner or later. I swear, Ryan, he won’t get mad at you or hurt you. That’s not him. You know that.”

 

*Spencer’s POV*

 

I randomly got a text from Ryan and it sounded like it was something serious. Something so serious he couldn’t bother calling me to tell me. I called him anyway and tried to keep this as hushed as possible. I asked him, “Ry, what’s going on? Is your dad getting bad again?”

Ryan said, “No...my dad’s fine. I just...I did something terrible and I’m afraid of how you’re gonna react when I tell you.”

My eyes rolled. I know exactly where this is going. I sighed. “You did it with Brendon, didn’t you?” I heard his response and then I said, “Ryan, hey. You’re not like Ari, okay? You’re nothing like her. I’m so happy you guys were safe while doing that.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Of course I’m not mad. Why would I be over something like this?”

Ryan sighed. “Because I know how protective you are of me.” He added, “My god, how am I gonna tell Nick? What’s Aiden gonna say about it?”

I replied gently, “Ryan, they’ll understand. It’s not something to freak out about, man. Don’t sweat it.”

“Aiden will think I’m dirty…”

My voice had a tinge of annoyance when I said, “No, he won’t. He’ll understand, dude.” I added, “Tell you what, Ry, whatever you do, don’t tell either of them about what you and Brendon did. They’ll never know if you don’t tell them.” I sure hope he takes my advice because the last thing I’d ever want is for him to get hurt. If he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t blab about it to Nick or Aiden, he’ll be okay.

 

*Aiden’s POV*

 

Another meeting at the school for schedules and other things. I know Nick wants to go home so he can sleep. He just took his meds not too long ago, so he’s a little loopy. Good thing the meeting is almost over. I’m getting Ryan as my assistant for the next school year. It’s good to have him as my assistant because I know I can trust him. He’s a good kid. Autumn looked over at Nick and asked him, “You alright?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah...I’m fine. My meds are making me loopy...because I took them not too long ago.”

I added, “Nothing to worry yourself over, Autumn. If Nick’s not feeling well, he’ll let you know.” The meeting is finally over and we can all go home now. As I was getting my things packed up, I noticed that another history teacher came over to me to ask:

“Hey, Aiden. You’ve met Miss Steele, haven’t you?”

I replied, “Yes, of course. Why do you ask?”

“Are you two related or married?” I shook my head. He cleared his throat. “I’m just making sure...because you both have the same last name.” 

I smirked. “Brandon, she and I are not related or married. Nick is my fiancé.”

Brandon laughed. “Oh, you got the loony ginger wrapped around your finger, huh?” I glared at him. He said, “You know it’s true. You’ve known the guy since he first started working here.”

My voice was stern. “I don’t appreciate anyone speaking about my fiancé that way. He may be a bit unstable at times, but I love him regardless.” Nick looked like he wasn’t feeling well at all. I helped him with his things and I said to Brandon, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take Nick home. Good day.” We walked down to the car and drove back home. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Nick was anticipating something. I’m not sure what. When we got in the door, Nick immediately put his things down on the table, ran to the bathroom and I heard vomiting. He came back out not long after and was washing his mouth out with water.

“Sorry, Aide...something wasn’t agreeing with my stomach.”

I comforted him. “It’s okay. Go lay down and take it easy, honey.” Nick went to the bedroom to change back into his very casual clothes and he went to lie down. I went to take care of our cats and went in to join Nick in the room. His complexion looked very ghostly and his breathing was labored. He got up pretty frequently to go to the bathroom. Poor thing probably has a stomach bug or food poisoning. Nick finally stopped after an hour and all I could do was comfort him. 

Nick groaned. “Aiden….my tummy hurts.”

I kissed his cheek. “It’ll be okay, Nick.” I rubbed his back. “I can get you some tea if you’d like.” Nick shook his head. I said, “Alright. I’ll let you rest.” I was about to get up and get some housework done, but Nick grabbed my arm. This isn’t like him at all. I asked, “Nicky, what’s gotten into you? You’re never this clingy.”

He said coldly, “Stay. Please.”

“Nick, what is this about?”

He sighed. “Aiden, have you heard from Ryan today? I haven’t heard from him all day and I’m scared that something happened to him.”

I replied, “Interesting. I haven’t heard from him all day myself. He might not feel like talking to anyone today.” I added, “Are you implying that something happened to him?” He nodded. I sighed. “Nick, Ryan isn’t an infant. You don’t need to worry about him every second of the day.”

Nick replied sharply, “I don’t give a damn how old he is, Aiden! He’s my baby boy!” Out of nowhere he started crying and all I could do was comfort him. That’s all I can do most days. He added, “I-I need to know if my baby boy’s okay...it would kill me if anything happened to him.” Nick automatically called him and I heard a soft voice on the other line.

 

*Nick’s POV*

 

“Hey, Nick.” I heard Ryan’s voice and he sounds like he’s feeling down about something. He asked, “Is everything alright?”

I said, “Everything’s fine, Ryan. My stomach was bothering me, but I’m okay. Aiden’s okay too.” I added, “You sounded like something was bothering you. Are you feeling okay?”

Ryan sighed. “Nick, it’s nothing. It’s just that week. I’m not feeling well.”

“Are you hiding something from me?”

He said quietly, “Well...I wasn’t lying about that week being here...I did something and I don’t want you or Aiden to think I’m dirty.”

I smiled. “Ryan, baby, no. You’re not dirty. I lost mine at a very young age too, you know. As long as you were careful and you wanted it too, you’re fine.” Aiden looked over at me as if he was asking me if everything was okay. I nodded and went back to Ryan. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I know you’re scared. You’re fine, okay?”

Ryan sniffled. “Th-Thank you...I was so scared to tell you guys because I didn’t want you thinking that I’m not pure anymore.”

I said, “Listen to me. You’re not dirty. You wanted it just as much as he did. It was bound to happen. I won’t tell a soul about this.”

He sighed. “Thank you, Nicky...I love you.”

“I love you too, Ry-Ry. You get some sleep, okay? I know you’re in pain and you need those special pills, some chocolate milk and a nap.” We said our goodbyes and hung up. Aiden asked me:

“What’s going on with Ryan?”

I shrugged. “Oh, he’s just in pain and feeling emotional right now.”

Aiden replied, “I’m guessing Brendon had his way with him…”

I sighed. “Aide, it’s no big deal. Shit happens. At least I know he’s okay.” I took Aiden’s suit jacket off and loosened his tie. “Aide, I need cuddles...please.”

“Nicky, I need to tidy up the house. The cat hair is unbelievable. We can cuddle afterwards.” Aiden ruffled up my hair, which I responded with a sigh of defeat and pouting. He smirked. “And yes, if you’re still in the mood, we can do other things too.” I giggled and Aiden went to go tidy up in the house. Man, I can still remember when we first did things. Of course, we waited a couple years because neither of us were sure about going that far. Smart move on both our parts.

 

*Brent’s POV*

 

I wanted to call up Nick to ask him a few questions...because I want answers about some of the things he’s kept quiet about. I might have interrupted something, but whatever. He said, “Hey, Brent! Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks, Mr. Slavic. I needed to ask you something. It’s about you and Mr. Steele.”

He shrugged. “Brent, if it’s about the legality of our relationship when we first met, it was perfectly fine because we never did anything crazy until I turned eighteen. You do realize the age of consent in Nevada is sixteen, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I realize that, but it’s still weird how you met him when he was twenty-four and you were sixteen...I mean, how were your folks cool with it?”

Nick said, “Very simple. My uncles met him and he proved to them that he would never do anything to hurt me.”

“Oh...okay. I understand now. He doesn’t really want to do anything with my friend, does he?”

He laughed. “Why would Aiden want to do anything with Ryan when he’s got me? Aiden wouldn’t do that to your friend anyway...I’d kill him if he did.”

I chuckled. “Awesome. I was just curious and concerned.” At least he was straight up and he didn’t beat around the bush. I added, “Okay, I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.” I hung up and felt instant relief. Aiden kind of gives me weird vibes, but knowing that he wouldn’t hurt my friend like that is relieving. He’s not a bad guy. I sighed and went out to the living room to clear my head. My brother bumped into me and said:

“Happy birthday, Brent! How does it feel to be seventeen?”

I smirked. “Thank you. Being seventeen isn’t so bad...I still feel like myself.”

He beamed. “I can’t wait to be in high school like you.” Oh, please. He can definitely wait. He’s got it so easy right now. I don’t understand how he’d want to be in high school right now. Oh well. He’ll be in for a bit of a rude awakening when that time comes.

“Trust me, Blake, being in high school isn’t everything you’ve dreamed of.”

Blake shrugged. “Well, I just wanna make the best of it.” He added, “Not everything’s bad, Brent. I mean, you could be like your friend Ryan or like Spencer.”

I rolled my eyes. “Blake, don’t speak about them like that. I don’t talk about your friends that way.”

He replied, “Still...it could be worse. You could be like Brendon too.”

“Blake, enough.”

 

*Ryan’s POV*

 

For some reason, I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I couldn’t even get through all of the stuff I had to do around the house. It might just be either the fact that my stomach hurts or I’m getting bad again. My dad knocked on my door and asked:

“Ro, are you feelin’ okay?”

I replied, “Not really.” I groaned loudly. “I want Brendon!” But then I remembered that he’s at work right now and he can’t come see me right now. Well, until he gets home, but I don’t know when he’ll be home. I walked out to go get some medicine and went back to my room to lay down. My dad came back up and said:

“Hope you feel better, boy.”

I answered, “Thanks.” Spencer crossed my mind, but I’m pretty sure he’s not feeling like talking right now. I just went to sleep. That medicine really knocks me out for some reason. A few hours later, I was woken up by knocking on my door. I went over to it and opened the door. It was my mom.

My mom said, “Well, hello, sleepy! Your father said you weren’t feeling well.”

I shrugged. “I took my medicine for that...it helped quite a bit. It really knocked me out and I was able to take a nap.”

“Ryan, all you’ve done pretty much is sleep. Is there something else going on that I need to know about?”

I sighed. “Mama, I’ve just been having some low days. That’s all. It kinda sucks not having Brendon around because he’s working a lot...Aiden and Nick with their work...I’m just a little lonesome.” I added, “It’s not you or Dad. Not at all.”

She replied, “I know, sweetheart. How about you hang out with Pete and his friends? They might be happy to see you.”

I shook my head. “Pete doesn’t like me too much. He thinks I’m nothing but a spoiled crybaby who has Nick wrapped around my finger...but I know he was just venting and he doesn’t mean it.” I continued, “Maybe I’ll go see Brent for a bit...celebrate his birthday...he’s probably waiting for me.” 

“You should go pay your friend a visit. It’ll get you out of the house for a little while and you’ll feel better.” My mom hugged me. “I promise, Ryan, there are days where I don’t even want to get out and do anything, but you gotta pull through.”

I smirked. “I’m not strong like you, Mama. I’m trying though.” 

She said, “That’s all you can do is try.” I finally hopped in the shower, cleaned up and got dressed in clean clothes instead of the baggy clothes I always wear around the house. It honestly feels good to actually do something productive, even if it’s just a little bit. I decided to clean up some more around the house before going out to see Brent. As I was driving over to his house, I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. That’s the most I’ve done in a while. I parked outside of his house and knocked on his door. His dad answered it and said:

“Hey, Ryan. Glad you could make it. Brent was just askin’ about you.”

I smiled. “Thank you.” I went up to Brent and hugged him. I said to him, “Sorry I’m late. I had to do something for my mom.”

Brent patted my back. “You sure it’s just that, Ry?”

I shrugged. “Well...I’ve been in pain pretty much all day, but it’s nothing to be concerned about.” I gave him a friendly peck on the nose. “Don’t worry about me...I’ll be fine.”

“With what you’ve been through, it’s very hard not to.” Brent hugged me tightly. “I’m so glad you’re out of the house...I knew you were feeling down today about everything going on.”

I sighed. “I had to at least try to tough it out, man.” Brent took me to his room and I could tell he has something on his mind. I asked, “What’s going on?”

Brent sighed heavily. “Ryan, I really need your opinion on something right now. It’s very important.”

“What’s up?”

He said bluntly, “I’m starting to have feelings for Spencer. I can’t hide it anymore.” Brent whispered, “A little while back, we kissed. It wasn’t anything serious, but my god...I don’t know what to do. He has a girlfriend and I can’t get in the middle of that. I don’t want a relationship to mess up our friendship.” 

I comforted him. “Be honest with him. He won’t ever know how you truly feel if you don’t tell him.”

Brent shook his head. “Spencer knows how I feel about him. Why do you think he kisses me all the time?! He knows! But he has to be with his stupid girlfriend who acts like she cares about him when she really doesn’t.”

“He’ll learn, dude. Besides, I don’t think he’s even mentioned her name in a while.” I wonder if he cut things off with her or something because that’s pretty weird for him. Speaking of Spencer, he came in the room. I said, “Hey, Spence.”

Spencer sat down by us. “What’s goin’ on, guys?” Brent automatically pulled Spencer in for a kiss and he was obviously shocked. He asked, “What was that all about?”

Brent replied, “Sorry...I...I just...love you. I couldn’t hold back anymore...felt bad that you obviously have feelings for me and you weren’t ever afraid of showing me...but I never really showed you. I feel terrible.”

He sighed. “Brent, I know you have feelings for me. You’ve shown me plenty of times.” Spencer whispered, “Don’t feel bad. I know you were just trying to be respectful of my girlfriend, but I’m not with her anymore.”

“What? I didn’t expect you to break up with her! I never did!”

Spencer smirked. “It was her idea. She had an issue with how close we are...so she dumped me. I’m not gonna cry about it because hey, it’s not worth it.” He pulled Brent close to him. “Besides, you guys are more important than me having a girlfriend or whatever.”

Brent said quietly, “I’m sorry, Spence. That’s awful.”

“Why are you sorry? You had nothing to do with her and me breaking up. She just doesn’t understand how close friendships work.”

He shrugged. “I still feel bad because you got your heart broken.” Brent hugged Spencer from behind. “Maybe I should come over and keep you company…”

Spencer laughed. “Brent, I’ll be fine. You worry about yourself right now. Besides, you’re seventeen today! Live a little.” Brent was about to say something, but Spencer cut him off by kissing him smack on the lips. He said, “Hope that made sense.”

Brent blushed. “Wow...wonder what your parents are gonna think about us possibly being together.”

“I don’t care what they think. I bet you don’t care what your parents think either.”

He shook his head. “Nope. I don’t.” Brent asked him, “Can we do that again? Please?” He turned to me and said, “Ry, we need some time alone right now. Go bug someone out in the living room until we’re done.” I shrugged and went out, closing the door behind me. I went to sit down on the couch and I noticed that Pete and Patrick seemed to be getting a little snuggly.

Pete waved at me. “Hey, Ryan. What’s up?”

I shrugged. “Just in pain right now and have been having low days lately, but I’m fine.” He gave me a concerned look. I said, “Really, Pete, I’m fine. I took my medicine with me just in case it gets bad.” Why is he suddenly acting like he’s concerned about me? Is it genuine or does he just feel sorry for me? I can’t even tell anymore. 

He sighed. “Look, Ryan, I’m not asking you that out of pity. I’m just genuinely concerned.” Pete quickly changed the subject. “How are things between you and Ari?”

My voice had a tinge of annoyance when I said, “Everything’s fine now. We worked things out.”

Patrick perked up and chimed in. “Chill, man. Just chill for once. You don’t have to be all uptight all the time.” I sighed and rolled my eyes. He said, “Hey, I know what you went through was rough, but damn. What the fudge did they do to you?”

I said coldly, “They didn’t give me my meds...my anxiety meds...they said I take way too many meds. I’m going after that place. You don’t treat people like that.”

He looked at me wide-eyed. “Gosh, I’m really sorry they did that. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Trick, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. They’re just hungry for money...it’s like what they tell you is scripted.” I sunk down to the floor. “They say things like, ‘Oh, everything will get better, but they won’t if you kill yourself!’, ‘You don’t need those meds, you just need to talk to someone!’, ‘We care about you!’...it’s all bullshit! Only a few people there genuinely care. I had to have Nick come over to comfort me because I couldn’t have Brendon and I didn’t know where Spencer was! That’s how bad it was, Patrick!”

Patrick asked, “You didn’t do anything with him, did you?”

I smiled. “Why would I? He has Aiden.” I laughed. “Would I really be so desperate for someone to make love to me that I’d go to the guy who babysat me when I was a kid? Or the guy who I work for? That’s crazy.”

“Good...I just don’t want you getting hurt, my dude.”

Pete smirked. “What’s with you calling Mr. Steele your ‘daddy’ then?”

I said quietly, “Aiden is the father I never had. He treats me better than my own dad treats me. I know my dad’s trying to get better, but I don’t know how long that’s gonna last.” 

He replied, “You poor thing...having to go to a man who is engaged to the guy who babysat you when you were little...that’s real sad. You need some professional help.”

“It’s not like that, Pete. It never is like that and it never will be! Aiden is a good man and he has been more of a father to me than my own dad has. If you think he’s gonna try to groom me and hurt me, you’re fucking wrong! I may like Aiden, but it’s not in a sexual way at all!”

Patrick said sharply, “Enough!”

Pete laughed. “Patrick, it’s funny seeing Ryan get mad.”

I asked, “Are you just jealous, Peter? Is that all?”

Patrick shook his head. “No. He’s not jealous. He’s just being a jerk and it’s ticking me off!” He turned to Pete. “Pete, you need to stop being a jerk to everyone. Please...Ryan is doing nothing wrong.”

Pete sighed. “Nerd boy, he’s basically going to a man who is with our band teacher because he has daddy issues. Don’t you see how that’s concerning?”

“Didn’t you listen to what he said? The bond he has with Mr. Steele is non-sexual. Besides, I met Mr. Steele and he’s very kind. It’s better that Ryan goes to someone he trusts than to some stranger who could hurt him.”

I nodded. “Thank you, Patrick. Thank you.” I went up to Peter and whispered, “Aiden would never do anything to hurt me. You can even ask him yourself. He’s got a heart of gold. You’ll see.” 

Pete chuckled. “I’ll take your word on that...maybe I’ll just pay them a little visit.” 

 

*Pete’s POV*

 

I drove over to a nice neighborhood by the high school and sure enough, that familiar silver Audi was right on the driveway of a big house. Must be the place. I saw Nick coming out to check the mail and I thought that this was a good time to say hi to him. I got out of my car and said, “Hey, Mr. Slavic.”

Nick looked up at me. “Hello, Pete. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your friends?”

“Well, I was just driving around and I saw you, so I just wanted to pay you guys a visit.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “Pete, what’s this about? I know you’re not here to just see me.” Fuck. I know he can see right through everyone’s bullshit. How could I have forgotten that? Nick sighed. “If you need to talk to Aiden, he’s inside.”

I smirked. “Your precious fiancé will be surprised.” I went inside and saw that tall man with the black-brown hair sitting at their kitchen table working on things. I decided to be polite to him and say, “Hi, Mr. Steele. I’m sorry to come here on such short notice, but there are some things I need to ask you about.”

Mr. Steele looked up from what he was doing. “Hello, Peter. Have a seat and I’ll try to answer whatever questions you have to the best of my ability.” I rolled my eyes. This fucking snobby cuck is already pissing me off. He gave me a friendly smile. “So what brings you here today?”

“Sir, it’s about Ryan. He doesn’t seem to understand a few things pertaining to you and Mr. Slavic. It’s very concerning.”

He shook his head. “Peter, Ryan is doing nothing wrong. He just looks up to me as a father figure. That’s all. He understands that Nick is with me and he would never try to sabotage our relationship.” Mr. Steele sipped his coffee. “If you’re so concerned that I’d do anything to harm him, I would never. I’ve never done anything to hurt anyone.”

I replied, “But sir, your soon-to-be teacher’s aide calls you ‘Daddy’. Isn’t that a little weird to you?”

“Again, Peter, it’s because he looks up to me as a father figure. There’s nothing sexual behind it,” Mr. Steele replied with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. “He needs a strong male role model in his life, and his father is not setting a good example for him. I’ve known Ryan since he was eight years old. Why the hell would you even assume I would do anything to hurt him?”

My god, he is really starting to piss me off. I tried to keep myself as composed as I can. I said sharply, “Because Ryan’s around you and Nick all the time and it’s weird! My god, Mr. Steele, you’re really beginning to piss me off! Ryan’s sixteen, dude!”

Mr. Steele laughed. “I am very well aware of his age, thank you.” He added, “Besides, he doesn’t come around here to try getting me to have my way with him. Not at all. Never has, never will. We are people he trusts.” 

I shrugged. “I mean...he does need people like you guys in his life. It’s just that parts of his behavior have been super weird lately and it’s concerning me. That’s all.”

“Do we have a bit of an understanding now?”

“I guess.”

Mr. Steele smiled. “Wonderful. Glad we have now come to an understanding.” He slid me a business card for some reason. He said, “Any other questions you may have, you can contact me. Might not always be able to get to you right away, but I reply fairly quick.” 

I smirked. “Thanks.” I went back to my car and back to Brent’s house. As I walked in the door, I said, “Ryan, you were right...I’m so sorry I doubted you.”

The kid smirked at me. “See? I told you Aiden is a good man.” He grabbed his stomach and whimpered out of nowhere. “I want Beeb!”

Patrick comforted him. “He’ll be here. Don’t worry.” Ryan took a pill bottle out of his bag and took his medicine. I sat by Patrick and wrapped my arms around him, trying to get his attention. He said, “Pete, you’re being a real jerk right now and I don’t want to be hugged right now.”

Ryan gulped. “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to make you guys fight.”

I snapped. “Dammit, Ross, you didn’t have anything to do with what’s going on between us! Stop apologizing all the time! That’s what I hate about you! Plus you act like your life is so horrible when you have it better than a lot of kids! Oh, your dad gets drunk and beats the shit out of you? Well, some people don’t have a dad! You’ve said your dad’s a good guy when he’s not drinking. Why don’t you appreciate the one father you have? Hell, you can be like Ari! Her dad died because of a disease that he was too afraid to tell her and her mom, according to his blood tests.” I sighed. “My god, Ryan, when will you stand up for yourself for once? Oh, I bet you’re gonna have Mommy do that for you, huh?”

Spencer came out with Brent. My god, they must have heard everything. He said in a cold tone, “Never speak about Ryan’s mother like that again. Don’t bring her into this.”

Ryan snapped back at me. “How about the reason why I apologize so much is because of verbally abusive assholes like you?! Yes, I do have a good roof over my head and stuff, but that doesn’t change the fact that I get abused or the fact that I have a lot wrong with me mentally! I love my father dearly. I don’t like the man he’s become because he decided to drink away his problems. I’m not obligated to do what you tell me to do, Peter, because I’m living my life the way I want to live it.” He grabbed me by my shirt and hissed in my ear, “You don’t know what I go through on a daily basis, Pete. Walk a mile in my Chucks. Stop assuming that I have it easy because you’ve only seen the surface. That’s a mask I wear out in public so nobody asks me what’s wrong.” 

Brent chimed in. “Enough! Can you all just talk civilly without arguing for once?”

Ryan sighed. “I’m sorry...I’ll just go.”

 

*Brent’s POV*

 

I guess Pete and Ryan are fighting again. Lovely. And now Ryan feels like he caused this whole thing. I said, “Ryan, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Ryan said, “I did...by being here.” He hasn’t been feeling well lately, but I give him mad respect for coming here. Ryan sighed heavily and was about to go out the door, but Pete stopped him. He asked, “What is it, Pete? Are you gonna tell me more about how horrible I am?”

“No. Patrick and I are leaving. I’m sorry for blowing up at you...you leaving would make me feel guilty because these are your friends. You deserve to be with them,” Pete replied. They both left and it was just the three of us. I want to tell Ryan about Spence and me, but I’ll save that for next time.

 

*To be continued….*


End file.
